Fate GO: Uncertain Future
by Thicc Boah
Summary: An unexpected survivor, leading to an unexpected Master, which will develop an unexpected Master-Servant relationship. I bet you didn't expect that one.
1. Ch 1 - The Master candidate No39

**A/N: Hi there, just to clarify some things before we started.**

 **I'm new in this platform so don't get surprised if you see this story multiple times because I may correct it like 3 or 4 times, maybe.**

 **This is my first time writing something, but hey, don't worry, I put a lot of effort into it.**

 **I'm not a native English speaker. Wait, just hear me out, I know, I'm a try harder but one of the motives behind this is to improve in both things so if it's not a bother, I'd really appreciated if you help me. Something that needs to change or something like that just let me know.**

 **I'm relative new to the franchise so if a terminology is off, let know and I'd read the entire wiki if it's necessary.**

 **One last thing, you'll find some swearing (that I don't think I'm good at it anyway) So, if you're one of those people who get triggered easily, I recommend you (Because I still want you to read it) to go watch some card against humanity or some 'Papa Franku'(RIP) videos cause I'm not even near that level. If you're not just ignore this.**

 **That's everything I guess… Oh boy, I'm so nervous, but whatever, don't be a pussy Thicc. Here goes nothing.**

* * *

 **The Master candidate No.39**

A white haired girl woke up from her slumber. She stood up while looking around to the destroyed city that was consumed by fire. "Where ... am I?" It's the first thing that came out of her mouth, but there's no one around to answer her.

Behind her some sounds alerted her. Turning around, she discovered a large number of skeletons, creatures created through Magecraft. Some had their skulls broken, others lack a limb, but all possessed a weapon, whether it's a bow a spear or a sword. Each and every one of them looked at the woman, if it is possible to describe such action for creatures that don't have eyes.

The skeletons began their pursuit of the girl, who in response screamed and started running in the opposite direction.

In her escaped she ends up stumbling, panicking, she turned around and started shooting the skeletons with spheres made out of prana from her index finger, knocking down some skeletons and barely managing to keep them away.

"Why do I have to go through this?" she said out of frustration.

Then she heard a noise above her. She found a skeleton that jumped of a light bulb to give her the final blow. Seeing her death, she shut her eyes out of fear, yelling the only thing that came to her mind. "Help me, Lev!" It's when something came out from behind the rubble, splitting the skeleton in half and making it disappear.

When nothing happened, the girl opened her eyes to find the skeletons being easily massacred by a man. This one is wearing a shoulderless dark blue kimono; a hakama of the same color and the geta is completely black. His black hair is long and messy, but what stands out the most is his weapon, a rusted sword as big as his own body with a serrated blade resembling a butcher knife more than a sword.

The white-haired woman is perplexed seeing what happens before her, but a voice brought her back to reality. "Hey, are you okay?!" Two girls ran in her direction. One of them had light purple hair, wearing somewhat revealing black armor while carrying a huge cross- shield that seems too big and heavy for a girl so fragile; however, she carried it like a toy. The other girl had reddish brown hair with a side-ponytail on the left, she wore a uniform consisting of a white jacket with three side straps, two of which didn't seem to have any other function than to accentuate her breast, a black skirt together with black leggings underneath and boots of the same color as his jacket.

"Director Olga Marie?" The girl with the shield said surprised to run into her superior. This white-haired girl is Olga Marie Animusphere, the current Director of Chaldea Security Organization or just Chaldea for short.

"Miss Kyrielight? What's going on? "Olga responded equally surprised to see the girl who always walks the Chaldea corridors.

"Director, about the situation. I know it's hard to believe but—" the girl is abruptly interrupted.

"A Demi-Servant right?" Miss Animusphere said regaining her composure. "That's pretty obvious. What I want to know, it's why is successful all of a sudden!"

"And you!" She changed her target to the red-haired girl. "How did you become a Master?" She went from being afraid to calm down and now is getting irritated all of a sudden. "Only top-class mages can do that. What did you do to her to have her do your bidding?"

"Wow, you are way off base!" the girl answered.

"You're getting it wrong Director" the girl called Kyrielight hurried to respond. "I'm actually the one who forced the contract"

"What did you say?"

"Allow me to explain how it happened" The explanation took a couple of minutes.

"I see" Olga said. "Then, who is that guy over there?" She pointed to the man who just finished with the skeletons, but the girls look at each other in confusion.

The man sighed as he plunged his sword into the concrete; the weapon started to disappear in blue mist, then he turned around, revealing his face that was covered by a mask. This mask was red as blood, had four horns and the mouth was full of sharp teeth, and both the upper and lower fangs were longer to the point of not fitting into its mouth and protruding from it. It was truly the mask of a demon.

The man began to walk towards the girls who had done nothing but talk during all this time that he had been fighting.

The three women were put on guard not knowing if this man posed any threat, so they covered behind the shield of the newly converted Demi-servant.

"You know? I would appreciate a 'thank you'. And you could also have given me a hand Mash. *Sigh* I hope you don't think about leaving me the entire goddamn job." The man said as he took his mask off, revealing two dark brown orbs.

Three curious heads popped out from behind the shield to see the man who spoke to them on a familiar way to them.

"You are..." The Director said, surprised to recognize that person's face. "The Master candidate No. 39 Ethan Pierce, How's that ...?" Olga was puzzled and not only her but the others as well.

"Hey, that's mean Olga, don't call me like I'm some stranger who has just appeared for the first time in a story or something like that" The black-haired boy replied somewhat indignantly, faking an upset face.

"But you ... you were…" This time Kyrielight was the one who talked, still puzzled.

" Dying? Let's say I had a little bit of luck" He said with a smirk.

* * *

The Master candidate No. 39, Ethan Pierce, he was one of the many who were called on the pretext of participating in the operation to restore human history, although in reality the truth was that he and the other last nine candidates were called nothing more than to fill the gaps.

That same day he had met Fujimaru Ritsuka, another Master candidate, who was sleeping in the middle of one of the corridors of Chaldea or at least that was how he saw it, and like any good gentleman he was, he simply put his jacket on the girl so that she didn't catch cold, and went on his way. It was impossible for him to wake a lady who slept so peacefully.

Sometime later, he found Ritsuka again at the entrance at the central control room, but this time Ritsuka was accompanied by Mash Kyrielight and the man named Lev Lainur. Ethan already had met the two of them on the past few days. Miss Kyrielight was a shy and pure girl who apparently needed a lot of protection from the darkness that the world has. The professor Lev Laniur was a reliable and respectable person, a total role model for everyone in Chaldea.

Inside the control room with everyone in their respective seats. Olga Marie Animusphere started giving information about the Singularity to the Masters candidates; but not long after, she was interrupted by the snoring of one of her guests, Fujimaru Ritsuka to be precise, which with the temperament that Olga had, she immediately expelled Ritsuka and excluded her from the operation. Kyrielight went out with her to accompany her to her room.

"Hey Olga, that was pretty rude of you. Is this how you treat your guests? The poor girl may not feel well because of the simulation she performed. Have a little bit of compassion, please." the one jumping in to the defense of the newly expelled girl was Ethan, who was sitting in a fairly relaxed position despite the situation.

"If so, then we don't need useless candidates who can't stand something like that. And I don't remember giving you permission to call me by my first name, Candidate No. 39." Chaldea's Director responded as she walks back to the platform while crossing her arms and closing her eyes, showing her arrogance. "You can also withdraw No. 39. I remind you that you were also excluded from the operation for snooping around where you should not." As Ritsuka, he had also been expelled because the same day when he arrived at Chaldea he began to explore it in its entirety, he even entered areas to which it was forbidden passage, and during its small tour was the same Olga who discovered him.

"Come on, Olga. I thought we knew each other well enough to call us by our names" Ethan replies with a smug face.

"We've only met once, you idiot! So wipe that stupid smile off your face and address me as Director or Miss Animusphere. Understood?!" The Director shouts and points her index finger at the boy, clearly annoyed. "And if you make another noise again, I'll have you taken out by force. Is that clear?" At this statement Ethan gave a tired sigh and raises his hands as if Miss Animusphere was pointing a gun at him, it was not that far from reality.

The explanation about operation continued its course without interruptions this time, after that, the Masters candidates who would participate, changed their clothes to the Mistyc Code: Chaldea Combat Uniform.

Each of the Masters entered their respective coffin while the Director together with Kyrielight (who returned not long ago) supervised them; Ethan was also in the room leaning against the wall behind the two women.

The Master candidate No. 39 hadn't gone to his room because his 'instinct' (or that's how he named it) had started to bother him since he had entered the control room. Unable to determine the problem, decided to take action on the matter approaching the platform where the two women were.

"Then, I'll go to my coffin, Director," Mash said, bowing to her superior.

Olga nodded, while noticing that the problematic boy was approaching, calling the attention of both girls. "What do you want now?" The Director asked.

"I'm just making sure of something," the black-haired boy replied. Unlike what Chaldea knew about him, he knew that he was more than 'just another person' for the operation; he was more than qualified to be a Master and was perfectly capable of using Magecraft.

Ethan kneeled and placed his right hand on the ground, closed his eyes, concentrating.

He began to sweat; this was due to his 'mental trigger' which magi use to activate their magic circuits. Each Magus had something different, and Ethan was not exception, even if he wasn't a Magus but a Spellcaster. In the case of Ethan his trigger was the image of his body bursting open from inside out.

Although it was a strange behavior, the Director decided to ignore it; however, his subaltern found it quite intriguing. "What are you doing ... em ~ ... Pierce-senpai?" She asked, trying to be respectful, because even though they already knew each other, they had never talked before.

But he completely ignored her due of his concentration.

The young man suddenly opened his eyes. "Mash! Olga!" He shouted the names of both girls as he lit the magical circuits of his leg. He quickly grabbed Kyrielight and the Director of their waist and jumped, shattering the platform underneath them, while crafting a barrier behind them.

A few seconds later an explosion happened on the platform, then more explosions followed the first around the room.

"Mash, Olga. Are you okay? "Ethan asked, keeping calm.

It's then that he noticed that the Director was unconscious, she had probably hit her head on the landing; and Kyrielight was in shock.

After checking that Olga wasn't in danger, Ethan concentrated on Mash "Hey, Mash!" He grabbed the delicate girl's shoulders. "Look at me, calm down, everything will be fine. We'll manage somehow."

"Pierce-senpai? ..." The girl returned to her senses. "Oh, I'm sorry, I was—"

"Don't worry, it's understandable." Ethan interrupted her. "I'll get you two out of here. So help me with—" he stopped his sentence midway due to the sound of concrete falling over them.

Without even looking up, the black-haired young man pushed the girl out of the way while he threw himself backward to protect Olga.

Several pieces of concrete fell where they were, separating them. Mash sat up with nothing but some scratches. She went around the collapsed concrete looking for Ethan and the Director.

Mash managed to saw some blurry figures through a cloud of dust; when the dust dissipated, the girl's eyes went wide in horror as she covered her mouth with both hands, drowning the urge to scream.

"Ah, Mash ... you're fine ... I'm glad" In the middle of that disaster was Ethan, who had been pierced by three metal rods from his back to his stomach and stopping a few inches away from the Director who was underneath him, other rods were piercing his legs, making him unable to move away.

"What…? What happened, Senpai...? "The light-purple haired girl approached slowly incapable to believe what was before her eyes.

"I'm ... sorry ... didn't have time ... to move Olga ... again" The boy spoke with difficulty as the blood dripped from his mouth.

Mash slowly fell over her knees, hanging her head down.

"Mash..." she flinched hearing her name, looking at the guy in front of her. "Are you able... to take Olga... out of here?"

The self-proclaimed 'kōhai' shook her head. "I don't have any physical fitness ... I'm sorry"

"I see ... At least ... you can get out of here ... by yourself, can't you?"

"No, I'm not going ...!" The girl realized that it was not time to raise her voice and took a few seconds to calm down. "I'm not going to leave you here. I will not do it" Kyrielight gave a serious look to his wounded partner.

"Mash ... I'm not asking you ... to leave us here" the boy said, giving the girl a warm smile. "I'm asking you ... to go for help ... Don't worry about me ... I can resist something like this ... I'm used to it after all" He murmured the last part.

The young woman opened her eyes surprised that she hadn't contemplated that possibility. "Yes, I won't be long!" She got up, gaining new strength. "I promise I'll come back with help!" She said as she disappeared behind a pile of concrete pieces.

Ethan immediately coughed some blood. _"If this white lie can save her my death won't be in vain."_ the young man said to himself in his thoughts trying justified why he was abandoning his life.

"Hey ... Olga ... Wake up ... I'm telling you to wake up ... Damn." the boy tried to use his remaining strength to awaken the woman below him, without much luck. "Come on ... stupid Director ... You have to get out of here."

His eyelids felt heavy and the robotic voice that warned about the damage done to the control room and the central power plant had been repeating itself for quite some time, it was like a lullaby that invited you to embrace death.

"... sh ...!" A shout from someone made him come back to reality.

" _Come on, let me die in peace, let me rest in pepperoni. I was doing it so well, this was going to be my epic and heroic death and you ruined it. I even did the 'can't speak correctly cause I'm dying' thing. Who is the_ _ **motherfuker**_ _that ruined my perfect moment?"_ Ethan said in his mind, while opening his eyes with killing intent.

"…ash!" the shout started to get more clear. "Mash!"

"Mash?" He echoed, as if its meaning was unknown for him. "Wait… Mash?" he said again, realizing what was happening. If someone was there looking for her, it meant that the girl didn't leave the room, what implied that something happened to her. He had to save them now, and there was only one way out.

"Fuck this…" Ethan muttered as he gritted his teeth. "Fuck these people, fuck this place; fuck everything and anything that forced me to this!" If he wasn't so pissed off he'd had laughed at what he just said.

"Fate is a _motherfuking bitch_ that I'm going to— …AHG!" He forced himself to stop swearing only just because he didn't have all the time in the world to do what he was going to do.

* * *

"Pierce! Hey Pierce! Wake up!" the white haired girl yelled, having lost her patience. The black haired guy has been staring at noting with a blank face for about seven minutes.

"Can I give it a try?" Fujimaru asked with a lifted hand.

"Do whatever you want," Olga responded giving a tired sigh. "I don't care anymore." She rubbed the bridge of her nose.

"Hehehehe~" the red haired girl chuckled with a smirk on her face. She rubbed her hand in a pretty sinister way while approaching to the boy.

She swung her hand slapping the poor guy, knocking him down. "Ouch!" Both teens screamed. "I'm not doing it again" Fujimaru said holding her hand in pain.

"What the heck was that Ritsuka? You interrupted my flashback; I was getting to the best part." Ethan said with a frown while rubbing his cheek.

"What the heck _is_ with you?" Olga stepped in pointing at him. "You just stopped talking and you stayed still like an idiot."

"Ha~? Well, that's how flashbacks work. I thought you three were watching it with me." He said raising an eyebrow.

"And how are we supposed to do that?!" Olga asked raising her voice.

"Wait, you can't?" He stared at Mash and Ritsuka, both shaking their heads. "Damn it, the visual media lied to me!"

"I think you're going to give me a headache." The Director said, giving a tired sigh while Ethan stood up. "Whatever. Listen clearly Master candidate No. 39; I need to ask you some questions. Understood?"

"Like crystal, I don't want to get slapped like _that_ again" he glared at Ritsuka, who avert her eyes whistling.

"Okay, first question: How did you become a Servant?"

"I don't know, Magic?" He responded while shrugging.

"What did you just say?" Olga clenched her fists, struggling for control.

"Well, the answer to your question was in the flashback that _you_ abruptly interrupted, it was at the end of it, so I need to look it all again from the beginning, preferably without slaps this time, though." He said eyes closed.

"That doesn't make any sense!" She lost her temper. "Enough! You're going to tell me _NOW_ or else, I'm going to shoot you twenty Gandr to your face! Do you hear me?!" She yelled aiming with her index finger.

"That actually sounds threatening. I don't know what Gandr is, though." Ethan sighed. "Okay, fine, just because it's you, Olga." He said approaching her ear. "Did you really think your father was the only monster who experiment on humans?" The black haired boy stepped back with a smirk that instantly disappears when he saw Olga's face. Eyes wide in fear, cold sweat covered her forehead and a trembling mouth.

"Nicely done, asshole," Ethan muttered while scratching his hair with a tired sigh. "My apologies, my stupidity took control of my mouth. I would gladly take a hundred Gandr to my face and any other punishment you see fit." He said while giving a dogeza, what immediately caught everyone's attention.

"He-hey, wha- what are you doing?" Olga stuttered a little bit flustered. "Li-lift your head now"

"Sorry but that won't happened until you accept my apologies." He said without moving an inch.

"Al-alright, I understand. I forgive you, okay? I'm telling you that I forgive you so get up!" She responded with flush on her cheeks.

"Wooo!" He got up with a jump. "A good ol' dogeza never fail in making things awkward enough to resolve the situation." He said with a bright smile.

"Wha-whatever," Olga said a little bit angry with his attitude. "Next question."

"Ah, right, shoot"

"What is you class? I supposed that must be Saber or—" She said folding her arms but was interrupted.

"Oh no, you didn't Olga." Ethan got triggered. "Did you just assume my class?" He asked, receiving a 'what?' from a flustered Olga. "So, because I _have_ a big ass sword, I _have_ to be the saber class. That's racist, wait, no. Sexist? What should I use for this?" He took a couple of seconds to think. "Classist?" he murmured. "Yeah, you're Classist Olga." He pointed at her like the good old Phoenix Wright.

"What are you talking about?!" She was completely lost with the situation.

"With that same logic, you could said that Mash is a new class called 'Shielder' or something like that, just because she wields a gigantic shield"

"Um…" The mentioned Demi-servant lifted her hand drawing the attention of everyone. "That's…actually the name of my class, Pierce-senpai" She said a little bit embarrassed.

"It is?!" He raised his voice in surprise. "Man, who come up with that?" The servant narrowed his eyes. "Whatever, that's out of the point," He waved those thought away. "The thing is. You can't assume the servant's class." Ethan went back to Olga. "I could just throw my sword and called myself Archer or I could have a hidden mount or I could—"

"Okay, I get it!" Olga interrupted him losing her patience. "Just shut up. You are insane like a—" Then she got interrupted.

"Ah~! You were going to do it again, right? You were going to say that I was like Berserker."

"Just shut up!" She covered her hear in frustration. "Just tell us what class are you and shut up!"

"No, actually, you were right on that one. I'm Berserker class because I'm crazy." Ethan said closed eyes, not noticing Olga, whose face was completely red of anger with a lift shivering fist. Mash and Ritsuka taking a step back. "Fun fact, I was already crazy before all the madness enchantment thing happened" Then he opened his eyes. "Ouh… Cal-calm down Olga, you are an Animusphere, you mustn't let your emotions take over… inhale and exhale, slowly." She started to calm down.

"Yeah… that's it, nice and easy" He felt relieved. "You know, for a second I thought you were going 'Berserker'." Just a millisecond later there was a bare fist on his left cheek, knocking him down flat. "I deserved that" Ethan said staying on the ground. "Ouch! Don't kick me Olga… Don't stomp on me either, you're wearing heals, go back to kicking." Then another foot hit the other side of his body. "Guho… What the hell Ritsuka, Why are you kicking me too?"

"You think that the Director is the only one frustrated with your attitude, you better take responsibility. And it's also fun." Fujimaru said without stopping her assault with a smile on her face.

The poor servant tried to cover himself with his arms. "Waaa…Patriarchy, save me, they're oppressing me!" He cried.

"Where… is… his mute button?" Olga asked biting her lips while stomping on him.

"Mash… come, join us." The red haired girl said.

"U-um, I-I'm not sure, senpai." She replied, flustered.

"Oh come on, Mash. You'd release a bit of stress, besides, I'm sure he doesn't feel the hits." Fujimaru tried to reason.

O-ok, if you say so, senpai." The purple haired girl nodded.

"O-Oi, Ritsuka, stop corrupting Mash!" Ethan yelled while Mash approached him from behind. "Wait, Mash. Even if she's telling the truth, you are a Demi-servant, I definitely gonna feel your hits… Please don't kick me! … At least open your eyes before the—… … … MY JEWELS!" They found his mute button.

Five minutes later.

"*Sigh* I feel totally relieved." Olga said wiping her sweat over her forehead.

"Yes, I feel it too." Ritsuka replied, Mash giving a nod. The three girls looked like they just finish workout.

"You know… You three are lucky that I'm a certified gentleman and I don't fight women" Olga and Ritsuka looked annoyed that the guy that they tried their hardest to inflict some damage looked like he was the one playing with them and his bored face just made it more annoying.

"So… um Pierce-senpai," Mash drew the attention. "You said that you were crazy before becoming a Berserker. I'd like to know how that happened, if it's not a bother."

"Oh yeah… I'd like to know that too" Ritsuka said regaining her mood.

"Umm… let me remember. Huuuuuggggggggggg~" He crouched, making the face that someone would made putting everything that he got on one action, putting every single one of his brain cells to work.

"Hey, are you trying to remember? Or are you trying to go even further beyond?" The red haired master said with a puzzled face.

Then, memories began to pass through his mind. Darkness, soft voices, evil laughs, his blood, other's blood, weird fluids, an explosion because why the fuck not? a church, kids, other weird fluids, then what he was looking for, a certain 'Yorokobe, Shounen' of a certain priest and a certain feminine mad laugh of a certain hungry tiger. Then he opened his eyes with a blank face. "Um… bad influences?" He shrugged.

Everyone gave a tired sigh. "Why did I expect more from one of your answers?" Ritsuka said.

"So… Any other questions for me?" He asked.

"Just one more," Olga said, not looking forward to any that could come out of his mouth. "Who is your Master?"

"Oh~" That took him by surprise. "I thought you already knew. I mean, that's a pretty important question. Why didn't you ask that first?"

"Just answer the question, please"

"Wow, you're even asking nice… It should be pretty obvious by now. I did the same as Mash, I forced my contract to the closest magus around" Everyone gave him a strange look, making him sighed. "I'm talking about you. You are my Master, Olga." He pointed at the Director's wrist.

"Eh?" She looked at her wrist with a disbelief face. "Eeeeeeeehh~?!" She echoed harder when she noticed her command spells.

* * *

 **A/N: How was it? I hope it wasn't so bad, and if it was I apologies for the bleeding eyes. Any question will be answered privately or in an A/N the next chapter or you could always wait that your curiosity gets satisfied on future chapters. It's gonna take me some time to write it though, with all that 'not a native speaker' thing. But I promise upload as soon is fished. And again, I can't thank you enough for taking your time to read this, anyway.**

 **Read you later.**


	2. Ch 2 - The inconvenience of the unknown

**A/N: Hey guy, it's me again. So first, before I forget it. Be careful of what you search on the internet, yep, not context whatsoever.**

 **Okay, Thanks to everyone who favorited and/or followed the story, it really means a lot for me, and special thanks to those two that left a review, so let's go with your answers.**

 **ZenoZen: Thanks, I'm really glad that you liked, and I tell you this, I use two google translate (Because one it's not enough), Cambridge dictionary, Urban dictionary and the entire fucking internet at my disposal to, at least, write it decently. The comedy scene was improvised, so I'm also glad for what you told me, thanks again.**

 **Tree45: I'm glad that you like my OC if something change on that, let me know, because It'd mean that I did something wrong. His Madness Enchantment is 'Unique'; he has a lot of 'unique' things. (Be careful there, unique doesn't mean OP, even if he has things like that.). Yes, you're correct, Ritsuka is a combination between a normal Ritsuka and Riyo Gudako, I thought I'd give more… sauce to the equation. Thanks again for your review.**

 **One last thing. Keep spoilers about the JP server to the lowest, not for me but for the other users, just with a spoiler alert it's enough I think. I spoiler myself intentionally, because that doesn't ruin anything for me, so yeah, just that. Let's go to the chapter.**

* * *

 **The inconvenience of the unknown.**

"I-I'm a Master?" Olga said, incapable to believing it. "Ho-how it happened? I-I'm supposed to be incompatible to be a-a—"

"A Master?" Ethan interrupted her. "Then that explain it." Everyone looked at him with confusion. "When I tried to force the contract I was rejected, but I tried it multiple times. It was in the middle of the rayshift that it worked. Maybe the rayshift changed something on your body?"

The white haired girl was lost on her command spells. The thing that she wished the most had been granted. She now had something, she had a purpose. "I think we should start moving, we've lost a lot of time" The voice of _her_ servant brought her back to reality, they had something to do.

"We should establish a connection with the Leyline Terminal of the city to communicate with Chaldea." Olga said, showing confidence on her words.

"Actually, this is the Ley point. It's right at your feet, Director" Mash said.

"Whoa! Oh r-right, I knew that, of course" She lied.

" _You're a terrible liar, Olga._ "

"I'm not!" Olga yelled at Ethan.

"Um… Are you okay Director?" Kyrielight asked a little bit worried.

"Of course I'm okay, the problem is with this idiot that keeps interrupting me" She pointed at her servant.

Mash and Ritsuka looked at themselves in confusion. "Um… Director. Pierce-senpai hasn't said anything."

" _Yeah, Olga, are you crazy or something?_ "

"I'm not crazy!" She yelled again at the young man.

"Director, Are you sure you're feeling well?" This time was Ritsuka who asked with concern. "Maybe his annoying voice got stuck in your head?"

Then Marie realized, it had to be her telepathic connection with her servant, and the fact that she found Ethan behind the girls containing his laugh with a hand on his mouth was enough proof.

Her face flushed completely red out of anger and embarrassment at the same time. "Cute." Ethan murmured, knowing what would be her reaction if she heard him. He was having a lot of fun at her expends.

The Director calmed down. She wouldn't fall for his pranks again and she wouldn't give him the satisfaction, even if it was late for that.

"Forget about that," She cleared her throat, regaining her composure. "We're going to use Kyrielight's Noble Phantasm as a catalyst to summon another servant for you, Fujimaru. Even if I don't want to admitted, you have my permission to be an official master of Chaldea."

"Oh? You aren't going to summon another servant for you Director? You are a master now too." Ritsuka asked tilting her head.

"I'll avoid it for now. We don't know the entirety of my condition as a master." The Director replied.

" _Our condition_ "

The white haired girl flinched a little because she almost yelled at her servant again, she looked at him with a frown while gritting her teeth; and even if she didn't fall for it, her reaction was enough to put a grin on Ethan face.

"You," Olga addressed her servant. "Could you go and guard the perimeter while we're at it?" She asked sighing. "I want a little bit of peace without hearing you for a moment."

"And why should I do that?" He replied with a question, while giving her a smirk.

"Eh? Be-because…" She got flustered. "Do-don't question me. Listen well; this is an order from your master, Berserker. Go and guard the perimeter" Olga demanded with confidence.

"You finally start to sound like a true master," Her servant gave her a wholesome smile that immediately made her blush. "I'll do it right away because your orders are my wishes, Olga." He bowed like a professional butler and started to walk away.

The three girls were stunned with his turn of personality. "That… was easy and… strange, somehow." Ritsuka commented

" _But if you ever call me 'Berserker' again, I'm gonna make you pranks for an entire day, and there won't be command spell that can stop me_." She got shocked from what she heard in her head, she knew that she didn't have the mental strength to endure such punishment.

* * *

"I'm so bored." The young man yawned with his hands behind his head, it hadn't passed an entire minute since he separated from the girls. "What should I waste my time on?" He wondered. "Maybe I should start a monologue like any other protagonist on their free time… Nah~, too mainstream. Maybe I should think about my tragic past and/or existential crisis? Pffff hahahahahahaha… yeah right, that's for fuckin emos wannabe… … … Oh~?" Something caught his attention at the distance. "Agh, I can't see. Byakugan!" He lit up his magic circuits around his eyes while making a weeb pose with his hands. "Two skeletons? Perfect."

 **"** "Hey~ What up, bitch!" The saber skeleton said to the other. "Oh, hey Jerry" The lancer skeleton responded. "So, how is family doing, Larry?" Jerry asked. "They're dead as always." Larry answered. "That's good to hear, and you're sister? Still hot?" "*Sigh* Jerry, you know that we are skeletons, we're asexual now!" Lancer lost its temper. "Oh yeah… I forgot. *Sob* I miss my dick, man." Jerry covered its eyes sockets with his forearm. "I know bro, I know." Larry comforted him. "Thanks man. Btw, I heard from the gang that there are humans in the hood. Shall we go and rip their flesh off? The gang already headed out, apparently they found a woman. It has been some time since I heard something from them, though" Jerry informed. "Really? I hope Bob is ok, the poor bone just joined us yesterday" Larry respond with concern. "Yeah… Uh? Is that a human?" Jerry looked at the distance. "It looks like one… why is he staring at us?" "Whatever, let's go for his flesh" Both skeletons started running toward the human. Spooky, scary skeletons. Send shiver down yours spin. Shrieking skulls will shock your soul. Seal your doom tonight.

The human dodged every attack. "Jerry, if we don't survive" "Don't think about that, man! We definitely gonna take him down" Saber thrust his sword forward, getting dodged again and kicked away. "Bro, please. I want you to know… That I love you, I've been since the first day we me—" Larry's skull shattered by a rock that the human threw. "LARRY! Teme!" Jerry yelled in Japanese. "Shineeee!" The saber jumped trying to kill the human, but another rock that was thrown hit its skull. "Larry… I'm sorry… I wasn't strong enough… to avenge you…" Jerry murmured before disappearing. And that was the end of the bony adventures of Jerry and Larry **"** Ethan ended his narrative contemplating the sky. "Haaaaaaaaahhh~… … … I'm the biggest dick of all"

"Um?" Ethan picked up a red bone that Jerry left behind. "Is this what they poop? Hum" He shrugged. "It has a curse, though" The obscure mana that the bone exuded told him that. He put it in one of the sleeves of his kimono anyway.

Then out of nowhere, something started scratching his ankle. When he looked at it, he found a white furball, a squirrel-cat like creature. "Fou, fou… kyu?" The little animal squeaked tilting its head.

"Oh? Hey little buddy. Have you been surviving all by your own in this city all this time?" Berserker picked up the furball and carried like a baby. "Don't worry, I'll adopt you. Yeah, we're gonna be best friends, I'm gonna give you food, baths and a lot of manly love. I hope you'll get along with Ozzy back at Chaldea, though"

"Kyu?" The furball tilted his head again.

"Ah, Ozzy is my pet; I brought it secretly to Chaldea, and he is a sneaky boy anyway. Don't worry though; not even Olga knows." He patted its head. "And now that you're gonna be my pet you need a name… umm, what could be good?" Ethan wondered rubbing his chin.

"Kyu? Fou! Fou!" The little creature got excited.

"You're like a pokemon that only repeat two words. Then… Foukyu. Umm… Foukyu, Foukyu, Foukyu… Fuck you... Fuck Yeah!" His face was radiant. "You will be Fuckyou" Ethan lifted the creature up to his head giving it a big smile. "I can't wait for the others to ask for your name. Look at those amethyst colored eyes, you like it, don't you? Wait… those eyes" He narrowed his owns while getting close to the furball. "Masaka! You… you are… you are a pervert like me! Ooooooh~ Boi, this is even better now!"

"Fou?" A feminine voice drew the attention of both perverts. It was Mash, who was approaching with a curious face.

When she got close enough, Fuckyou jumped out of Ethan's arms, falling on Mash's breasts. "You lucky bastard." The black haired guy muttered while staring at the creature. "Please teach me your methods."

"Uh? Did you say something, Pierce-senpai?" The girl asked.

"It was nothing," He lied acting naturally. "So… you knew about this little thing, uh?" He was cursing in his mind because his joke ended before even started.

"Ah, yes. It managed to rayshift with us, somehow. Fou is… like Chaldea's mascot" She smiled with her quick explanation.

"I see." He smiled as well, seeing her like that made him happy for some reason. "And where are the others?"

"Oh, yes. They sent me to find you; everything is done, Pierce-senpai." Mash put 'Fou' (and not 'Fuckyou') on the ground. "Shall we go?"

"Lead the way." The purple haired girl nodded turning around. "Fuckyou was way better" Ethan murmured starting to follow his kōhai.

* * *

When he arrived his eyes went directly at Risuka, who was hugging a flustered blond lady in white armor, and at the same time the red haired girl was rubbing her cheek against with the other girl's cheek.

Ethan approached them; he already figured that this new girl had to be the new servant "I'm back~" he said.

"Oh, it's you." Fujimaru said with a derogatory face.

"Ah, I see that you missed me." He respond with a smug face. "So, are you going to introduce us or what?"

"*Sigh* I guess you're right." Ritsuka separated from hes new servant. "Artoria, Asshole. Asshole, Artoria. Done." She stuck against the girl again.

"Artorias from Dark soul was a female?!" He raised his voice in surprise, not even a little bit upset of how he was introduced.

"No, no, there is a S of difference." Fujimaru corrected him with a bored tone.

"She is Artoria Pendragon Lily. She is… King Arthur in his younger form" Olga stepped in with her arms crossed.

"King Arthur was a woman?!" He raised his voice again. "Who was it?!" Everyone looked at him with confusion. "Who was the guy _or_ girl that had one job to do, only one. That was, getting her sex right, and they still messed up?!"

The girls spent the next five minutes explaining Artoria's legend to Ethan. "So… If I'm getting this correct. You are one of the first reverse traps on history"

"Excuse me?" Artoria said really confuse, tilting her head; while her master nodded.

"Just let me get one thing straight." The blond girl paid all her attention. "You're not going to kick me out of nowhere, right?"

"E-excuse me?" this time she was sweating out of confusion.

"I see. Then is a pleasure to meet you, Artoria." He extended his hand. "I'm Asshole but my friends call me Ass, you can do it too, if you want."

The poor girl-knight was mute with her mouth open and her hand at half way to shake his hand. She had no idea what to do.

"NO~!" Ritsuka jumped between them. "His name is Ethan, Ethan Pierce. Call it Ethan. " She frowned at the black haired man; she wouldn't allow his precious Artoria to say such an unfeminine word.

"That's what you get." He talked quietly enough for Ritsuka to hear it, giving her a triumphal smirk. Her attempt to made Ethan angry with her introduction came back to bite her ass.

"Sorry for that, Artoria" Ethan apologized to the blond girl while pushing Ritsuka away. "No, that won't work, Lily roll the tongue better." He tilted his head. "We have a little game between us, you just happened to get caught in between."

"Yeah~ sorry for that, Lily-chan" Fujimaru apologized as well, rubbing the back of her head.

"Yes, don't worry, master; I'm not angry." The girl-knight replied, gaining another hug form the red haired girl. "And is a pleasure to meet you too, Ethan Pierce." She extended her hand again.

"Just call me Ethan." He shook her hand.

"Yes, I'll do that." She tilted her head while giving him a bright smile, which make him blush a little bit.

"H-Hey!" He yelled at the other three girls. Everyone looked at him, confused. "Stop giving me more smiles to protect, you three were enough already." The four girls took a moment to analyze what he said. They flush when they realized it. "Wow, wow, wow, what's _that_ reaction, Ritsuka?" He pointed at her. "I can understand the other. Olga is a spoiled child, Mash is a bubble girl, and Lily is a princess; but you are not a pure girl— guhag" He got shut from a punch in his stomach. "You just proved my point."

"By the way… I don't think I'm that crazy but… who is the ghost?" He pointed at a man with a long-flowing ponytail that happened to be completely on blue.

"Ah, I'm not a ghost!" The man shook his fists up and down like a child complaining. "I'm in a hologram, okay?"

Ethan chuckled. "I was just joking, Doc."

"Oh? You know me?" the man asked.

"I saw you singing a magic girl song or something like that while I was on a trip around Chaldea."

"A-ahaha~ y-you saw that?" The doctor glanced at the Director and Mash, who were glaring at him. "Uhum, Let me introduce myself. My name is Romani Archaman, I'm the head of Chaldea's medical ward, but I prefer if you call me Dr. Roman. I'll provide any support that you may need from here at Chaldea. You must be Ethan Pierce, the Director already told me about your condition and even if I want to analyze it, it will have to wait. Our current situation requires it."

"I understand. It's a pleasure to meet you, Roman." Ethan smiled at him. "So… What are we going to do now?" He asked the girls.

"We are going to investigate the city for a clue of what had happened here." Olga answered. "We thought that we also may start for the church."

"Ah~ The church, eh?" He echoed with a displeased face.

"Is there a problem?" Ritsuka asked.

"I'm not a very religious person, that's all." He said with an awkward smile. "Well, just let me take a weapon real quick." The black haired guy began searching through the rubble.

"Eh? What happened to your sword?" Everyone asked with concerned.

"You know, the fact that you are asking, tells me that neither of you watched me fight with the skeletons." Ethan stopped searching to look at them. "I'm not like my lord and almighty god, Guts, or even Cloud for that matter." He started searching again. "Even if I have the strength to wield it, with a single swing my entire center of gravity change making me loses my balance." Everyone watched him, surprised of his reasoning. "Ah, this is a sexy ass pipe." He swung it a couple of times. "Yeah, with this pipe I may save the world." The pipe started to get imbued with his prana, fortifying it in the process.

"I see. You're going to use 'Reinforcement' on it." Olga commented.

"Rein-what?" Her servant asked tilting his head.

"Reinforcement! It's the magecraft you just use!" She got upset for some reason.

"Eh~ So that's its name." Ethan contemplated the pipe.

"What?! You really didn't know that?" She was in disbelief.

"Eh? No~?" He lifted an eyebrow. "No one teach me that."

"But you have been using magecraft all this time!" Olga yelled.

"And all of that I learned it by myself" Ethan made a silly face, receiving a 'how?' from Olga. "How? I just made an image in my mind of what I want to do and then I use my prana to make it happen. Isn't that how magecraft works?"

"It's more complicated than that!" She lost her cool. Everyone looked at the young guy in their own way. Ritsuka of course, didn't have any idea of what was happening.

"I don't know what you want me to say, Olga."

"I see." Everyone looked at Romani. "For what you're saying… You 'believe' that that's how magecraft works, right?" The doctor asked while Ethan gave him a nod. "Then, even if we said that you're talented, your magecraft works because of your 'faith' rather than an actual technique." Everyone was staring at him with an astonishment face. "A-ah~ I-it happens that I read a lot of books. Don't pay me too much attention." He said awkwardly.

"But it's that even possible?" Olga asked.

"Agh! Shut up!" Ethan and Ritsuka yelled at the same time, both covering their ears.

"I don't understand anything!" Fujimaru said.

"You're making things over complicated!" Ethan also said. "We have things to do. Leave this for later."

Everyone took a moment deciding it was the best course of action. So everyone started to walk. "Um…" The girls turn to see Ethan. "The church is on that direction…" He pointed to the east. The girls blushed in embarrassment. "*Sigh* Tourists." He murmured.

…

…

On the way to the church, Olga took the time to explain basic things about Chaldea, what servants are and everything she talked in the meeting at the control room, to Ritsuka.

Most of the time, Olga was interrupted mid speech by an attack of skeletons or anything stupid that Ethan did or said. The fights were more annoying than threatening, that was to be expected with three servants at their disposal, and they just happened to end one of those fights.

"Are you okay, Mash?" Ritsuka asked her servant that was making a worried face.

"Uh? Ah, yes, Senpai. It's just…" She looked at her shield.

Olga noticed that. "You can't use your Noble Phantasm?" She received a worried nod from the Demi-servant. "Don't worry too much, you and your Master just started, give it time and you'll learn it, okay?" The Director managed to lift the mood of her subaltern.

"Yes, don't worry that much Mash. I can't use mine either." Ethan said putting his hands behind his head with a smile. The two Masters glared at him seriously. "What?"

"Somehow I'm not surprise by that." Olga commented.

"Me neither." Fujimaru said as well.

Olga's next rant was about Noble phantasms. Of course didn't take long for Ethan to do a stupid joke of 'If they are so important, why don't they have their name written on them?' with which Risuka agreed, surprisingly.

…

…

They arrived to the church. Olga immediately started to inspect it the collapsed building and talk to herself.

"I wonder what was of him." Ethan commented under his breath.

"Did you say something?" Lily was the closest person but didn't hear him well.

"Ah, no, it was nothing, I was wondering if there were still any intact toilets around." He waved away her question with a smile. "I'm gonna see what Olga is doing." The girl-knight gave him a smiley nod.

"Hey, Olga are you don—" He was interrupted.

"Guys, get out from there! Quick!" Romani yelled at them in alarm. "I'm detecting a Servant's signal!"

Seconds later, a womanly figure landed on the corroded rooftop of the church. She had a long purple hair and something like a tattoo on her forehead, her weapons were two nails with chains at the end of them.

Seconds pass like an eternity; everyone was ready to engage battle, the two masters were now in the back line. Tension could be felt and then, suddenly. "Buuuuuuuurp~ Oh jeez. Welp, this is awkward." Ethan belched. Everyone including the enemy Servant, glared at him. He relaxed his posture, gave a big yawn and then sniffed a little bit. "Fuuuu~ the beans are strong on this one." He waved his hand in front of him. No one had words to describe what they felt toward the only guy among them. "So, are you going to talk? Or throw those nails? Or just gonna stay still there? By the way, I don't have any complaints with the last one… After all, I have a great view of what's under your skirt from here." The servant immediately covered her crotch in embarrassment. "Yeah, really cute reaction and all, but. If you finished your analysis of the situation, take a damn decision, this is really stupid."

The enemy servant glared at him with such intensity that could've turn anyone into stone. But Ethan was yawning again with his eyes closed so he didn't notice it.

Then as soon as she got there, she fled away. "Ha, just what I thought." Ethan commented.

"Would you mind to explaining what was that?!" Olga yelled at him.

"Uh? It's obvious, don't you think?" He looked at her with surprise. "We're three Servants and she's only one. If she fought against us, it would have been a suicide."

"Not with that, with you!" His Master pointed at him.

"I… just gave my humble opinion of the situation?" The black haired man frowned in confusion. Olga was gritting her teeth and looking at him with anger. "Okay. Before the kicks start again. Would you rather that someone tells you that he is staring at your panties, or that he doesn't tell you, and you discover it for yourself?"

"Do-don't ask me that!" She blushed.

"Then, Ritsuka. What would you rather?"

"I… I… I…" She averted her gaze with a blush.

"Jesus… Then, Mash. What is your answer?"

"I-I'm sorry, Pierce-senpai." She bowed several times.

"… Lily?"

"I…don't know what to say." She responded apologetic.

Ethan was cringing with his mouth open. "You four really need a real life, you know!" He pointed at them. "Wait… It's because you're women."

"Wow… Sexist." Fujimaru commented.

"So you can answer that, huh?" He gave her an accusing look.

"Guys, I'm detecting more sig—!" The doctor was going to alert them but the sudden movement of Ethan silenced him.

He has covered Olga's head with his hand from a throwing knife that pierced his wrist. His Master looked at him with terror but what she found was the demon mask back on his face.

"Mash, take Ritsuka! Lily, grab Fou!" Ethan ordered them while carrying Olga on a princess-like position. He ignored completely his Master's flush or her look of worry for his bleeding hand with the knife still in it. "We need to go to an open space! Don't fall behind!" Berserker started to jump away with the others close behind.

It didn't take them long to arrive at the river, close to the bridge. "Romani, how many?" Olga asked serious.

"I'm detecting two of them. They are on the way!"

"I'm gonna take one, you two take the other." Ethan told to his two Servants companions. "We are going to maintain the numerical superiority, I'll give you time to—"

The two Servants arrived, cutting their conversation. One of them was a skeletal man in black with a skull mask and his right arm was wrapped with black sheets. The other was a muscular man with a Naginata for weapon.

"Ho~ I'm really impressed that you were able to detect my attack." The skeletal man said.

"Prana have never lied to me." Berserker responded as he pulled the knife out of his hand like it was nothing. "I'll take Lancer." He whispered to the girls.

"I see. Well, it doesn't matter what did you mean by that. We'll have everyone's heart!"

"Pretty arrogant when you are outnumbered." The masked Servant said, trying to keep the conversation going.

"Then, I'll go with you." Olga whispered back.

"No, the safest place is with Mash, I can't guarantee your safety."

"But!—" The Director raised her voice in protest. Even if she knew he was right, she couldn't accept it, not now that she was a Master, _his_ Master. But she stopped when she saw the magic circuits on his feet, hands and shoulders lit up.

Like a lightning, Berserker crashed against Lancer, the noise produced was of a thunder. Both Servants disappeared in a cloud of dust that extended itself from where they were to inside the city.

* * *

"Impressive!" Lancer said to Berserker. They were six meters away from each other, surrounded by buildings. "Being capable of pushing me this far, me who practice sumo wrestling, it's really impressive. What is your name?"

The demon mask disappeared from Berserker's face. He had a serious look. "It's rude to ask other people names without giving yours."

"Namo! My name is Musashibō Benkei, Lancer class." The monk said enthusiastically.

"*Sigh* Berserker class. First name Fuck, last name Off. Fuck Off." The pipe on his left hand was glowing green.

Lancer didn't like his comment so he just shut up and took his combat posture. On the other hand, Berserker didn't take any posture at all; he just stayed there looking directly at Lancer. If his opponent wasn't going to make any move, Lancer would.

Lancer launched himself forward, thrusting his Naginata. Berserker caught it with his right armpit and wrapped it to not lose it. He swung a kick aiming for Lancer's head, was blocked with a fist, he tried again, aiming for his knee's side this time, it clashed against the front of it for a little movement of the monk. Failing both times, he then let gravity take place, falling backward, pulling Lancer with him. Now on the ground he swung his pipe hitting Benkei's head and wrapped his body with his legs while hitting another time with the pipe.

Musashibō released his weapon, then, thrown two punches hitting Berserker's face, damaging the ground beneath his head and making him lose his wrap. Lancer got up quickly, grabbing his opponent's legs and threw him away.

Berserker scraped against the ground around ten meters before stop.

Both fighters took a moment to get up. Berserker's nose and mouth were bleeding, but he showed no pain or hatred for it. Lancer was bleeding from his ears, but he looked equally mild as his opponent. Both took a deep breath.

In a matter of a second, both Servants meet each other; exchanging superficial blows. Until Berserker stopped a vertical slash from Lancer with his pipe, just below the blade. The pipe slid against the naginata's handle, closing the distance between them. Berserker extended his free hand aiming for the eyes; Lancer backed off his head but then he felt a great pain on his crotch. A kick that lift him up a little bit, then a punch on the stomach that put lancer on the air. Not stopping there, Berserker rotated his body 360° to give a kick that sent Lancer all the way to crash against a building.

" _How did he manage to block that?_ " Berserker thought, looking at the cloud of dust.

He launched himself towards the dust. His opponent's weapon appeared through it, thing that he barely managed to dodge, getting a cut on his cheek. Berserker recoiled quickly, making some distance.

This wasn't going anywhere, so both Servants decided to take it seriously this time, like if they weren't doing that yet. Benkei took his posture again, but this time he was putting a lot of pressure on the atmosphere around him. Berserker on the other hand, took his pipe with both hands making a kendo posture; his eyes were staring at Lancer like a tiger would stare at his prey.

They stay like that for about two minutes, then, Lancer decided to make the first move, starting to run.

A growl came out of Ethan stomach. " _Uh oh_ " making him lose concentration and as a consequence, the reinforcement on his 'weapon' disappeared. Was on that moment that Benkei reached him and with a horizontal slash he cut the pipe in half. "PIPE-CHAN!" Ethan cried, as if a love one has been murdered.

Benkei thrusted forward his naginata, piercing his opponent's shoulder.

Ethan fell backwards. "My knee!" He cried and rolled away while putting pressure with a hand on his shoulder.

"Yo-your knee?" The monk stopped for a second in confusion.

" _Good 'stupid words' is super effective, Benkei is confused. Now, time for my ultimate move._ " Ethan thought. "HELP! HELP! MASH, LILY, RITSUKA, OLGA! HELP ME! SKELETONS, NOW IS A GOOD TIME TO CAME OUT OF NOWHERE!" He yelled with all that he had.

"Shameful. Asking for help in the middle of a fight, just because you are going to lose is shameful." Lancer told him while approaching.

The black haired boy started putting a lot of prana into his brain to be capable of thinking faster than normal. " _Okay. If I don't move, I'm fucked. If I moved, I'm fucked as well. So if my quick maths are correct. Fucked plus Fucked is equal to square Fucked, in other words I'm completely fucked."_

"Ansuz!" A man's voice echoed. Fireballs hit Lancer making a smoke cloud.

Lancer was a little bit stunned for the sudden turn of events.

From the smoke appeared two feminine figures, two girl-knights, one with a sword and the other with a shield. Both swung their respective weapons without allowing the enemy Servant to react. He disappeared in a black mist.

"Are you injured, Pierce-senpai?!" The Demi-Servant asked hurriedly, looking for the boy, but she found him walking away slowly while holding his stomach with both hands.

"Uh? Sir Ethan, are you okay?" Lily asked, worried, seeing him like that.

"Don't have— ugh… Time for that." Ethan responded without even looking at them.

"Ah, I see how it is." A man with blue hair and red eyes said with a smile while looking at the boy. "Hey, kid!" He shouted. The boy turned his head slowly looking with a killing intent at the blue guy for stopping him. "In that building, third floor, second room from the left! There is still one useable with paper!" The man pointed with his staff. The boy jumped from where he was, with enough force to shatter the ground. He ended up crashing against the exact room that the man said, making a hole on it. "Who comes to a battlefield like that?" The man asked to himself with a smirk.

"Where is Ethan?" Ritsuka asked, just arriving along with Olga.

"Ah, the kid is in that building solving a personal problem." The man answered.

"HAAAAAAAAAAAAANNGGGGG!… hah~" A really loud wail came out of the mentioned building and ended with a moan.

"What was that?" Olga asked, worried.

"Jeez, I didn't think it was that bad." The man said, cringing while looking at the building.

Everyone wait until the black haired boy came out of the building, which took around thirty minutes. He was walking with a pleasured face toward the group.

"Ha~ I thought I was going to die there." Ethan said with a big smile. "That thing was as big as a Moby huge."

What's a Moby huge?" Fujimaru asked, tilting her head.

"Neither of you want to know, trust me." Ethan responded. Then he approached the man in blue. "Thanks for that one man, you really saved me." He raised his fist.

"Yeah, don't mention it, kid. We man take care of each other's backs." The man stopped his fist mid-way. "You cleaned your hands, right?"

"Of course," They connected fists. "I lied."

"You bastard!"

"Calm down, I lied about that I lied." He said with a smirk. "Or did I lie on this one? It's a lie-seption, you'll never know the truth. Hahahahaha…"

"You were right with him." The man grunted, looking at the two masters that were ashamed.

"Why was that?!" Olga yelled, his servant really knew how to get on her nerves.

"Hey, hey, hey. I remind you. I'm not supposed to be here. Of course that I hadn't gone to the bathroom in a long time." His Master was more pissed that she couldn't argue with that. "So, you are?" He went back to the man.

"*Sigh* Caster, Cu Chulainn. I made a temporal contract with that girl over there." Cu pointed at Ritsuka.

"Yeah, never heard of you. I'm gonna call you Cu. I'm Ethan, AKA Asshole, AKA Kid, AKA Bastard. Nice knowing you"

* * *

After that, Ethan grabbed a stop sign as a weapon. Then, they decided to go under the bridge to exchange information. Cu explained what happened there. How Saber corrupted everyone except him.

"Saber is now in a cave near the mount temple" Caster said.

"I see." Everyone looked at Ethan that was playing with Fou's paws. "That explains the large amount of corrupted mana from there."

"Wait, you knew that?" Olga asked, gaining a nod from her Servant. "And why didn't you tell us?!"

"You never asked." He replied with a shrug. Olga came up to him snarling, she put her hands around his throat, strangling him with all her strength. Her Servant ignored her completely, focusing on Caster while patting Olga's head. "I have two questions." Caster raised one of his brows. "How do you use a Noble Phantasm?"

"Oh, yes, I would like to know that too." Mash talked enthusiastically.

"Hum, you use your instincts? Sorry, that's all I can think of." Cu said.

Feeling the gaze of the converted Servants, Lily got nervous. "I-is inherent in oneself, I-I guess…"

"That doesn't help at all." Ethan responded, still being strangled by his Master.

"Stop patting me!" Olga raised her voice.

"When you stop strangling me." He smirked without looking at her. "So, for example, can I create a substituted Noble Phantasm and give it a name?"

"I don't see why not. Of course is not going to be near the original." Caster answered.

"Then," Olga stopped strangling him, seeing that was futile. "If you are going to put it a name, it has to have 'Chaldea' on it."

"Why?!" Her servant raised his voice in protest.

"Because you work for us now, understand?"

"Whatever you say, my egocentric Master." Olga, not liking his sarcasm, went back to strangling him. "Second question, what happened to Berserker? You never mentioned them."

"Ah, Well, He was corrupted like the others, but if we keep our distance he shouldn't bother us."

* * *

Five minutes later

"HOW IS THIS HAPPENING, CU?!" Ethan yelled with Olga on his arms while running.

"I DON'T KNOW. THIS SHOULDN'T HAPPEN!" Caster yelled back, running alongside him.

"WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?!" Ritsuka yelled getting into the conversation, while being carried by Mash.

Behind them was Berserker, a giant pile of muscles with a big axe-sword, chasing them, on a rampage.

"PIERCE, DO SOMETHING!" Olga yelled at her Servant.

"I'M ALREADY DOING SOMETHING, BUT HE ISN'T READING IT!" The stop sign that he was carrying was facing Berserker.

"STOP BEING AN IDIOT AT A MOMENT LIKE THIS. WE ARE GOING TO DIE!" Wasn't only Olga who yelled but everyone else too, even Mash and Lily.

"AND WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME?!"

"BECAUSE YOU'RE A BERSERKER TOO!" Everyone yelled again.

"I DON'T LIKE IT WHEN EVERYONE AGREES AGAINST ME!" He looked at everyone and realized by their faces that, if Berserker didn't kill him, they will. "AGH, FINE!"

Ethan gave a big jump forward making some distance. He put Olga down then turned around to face Berserker. He swung his stop sign, but got shattered against the axe-sword. "STOP-KUN!" Then he realized on what predicament he was "Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit." A Berserker's kick sent him flying against a building like a rag doll.

Olga was in front of Berserker, defenseless. "Save me, Lev" She said out of fear when she saw the enemy Servant raising his weapon.

Ethan appeared, kicking Berserker away, sending him flying against a building like he had been sent a second ago. His face was completely pissed. "Are you doing it on purpose?" He asked his Master that was extremely confused with that question. "Call, me! Rely, on me! This is the second time that you do it today! I'm your Servant for love of god!" Ethan breathed in and out, regaining himself. "Whatever." He stared in Berseker's direction; Mash and the others were already engaging him.

"Yo-your…" Olga pointed at him with horror in her face.

"Hm?" He looked at his arm, the one that he used to block Berserker's kick; it was completely broken, even its bones were protruding from it, making it bleed. "Daaaaaamn." He swung it a little bit, making a crack noise. "This is gonna hurt tomorrow." Olga was in shock because of how he acted. Ethan ignored her and concentrated on Berserker and then looked at Caster. "Instincts, huh?" He murmured.

A black gourd with a cork on top appeared on Ethan's waist. He grabbed like if he knew it was there and opened it with his mouth. He started to drink its content. His hand made weird movements making more cracking noises, his bones started to enter his flesh. "Agh. Shit, I felt that one."

While his gourd was disappearing, his big sword started to materialize. He grabbed it and crouched in three while letting his sword hanging; he was so close to the ground that he could kiss it. His posture was like some wild animal ready to start its pursuit.

Ethan launched himself in a burst that caused Olga fall sat, destroying the ground behind him; everyone noticed it and withdrew immediately. He swung his sword " **...Spirit-Slayer of Chaldea!** " A clean cut that split Berserker in half, and not only him, but the building behind him too.

Everyone looked at Ethan that was over Berserker's corpse. "Haha, suck it, bitch!" He yelled at the corpse and started dabing on it at Servant speed, so only the other servants saw it, but none of them knew what it was, so nobody told him anything.

"Ethan, get away from him!" Romani appeared in a hologram. "That Servant is Heracles! For doing the twelve labors, he has been granted twelve lives as his Noble Phantasm! He is going to revive!"

"Wut?" Ethan looked at Dr. Roman dumbfounded and then noticed that everyone was looking terrified behind him. He didn't turn. "ShiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiT"

* * *

"THAT'S INCREDIBLY OP, I WANT THAT, WHAT ARE THESE TWELVE LABORS SO I CAN DO THEM, MYSELF!" Ethan yelled, with Olga on his arms.

"SHUT UP!" Everyone yelled back at him.

They were right at the beginning.

"PIERCE, DO SOMETHING!" His Master yelled at him.

" DÉJÀ VU! I'VE JUST BEEN IN THIS PLACE BEFORE! HIGHER ON THE STREETS! AND I KNOW IT'S MY TIME TO COME HOME! " He started singing and everyone looked at him with a mix feeling of hatred and worriedness.

"HE IS DOING SOMETHING! NOW WHAT?!" Caster asked.

"NOTHING COMES TO MIND!" Ritsuka answered.

"HAAAAAAAAH!~" A loud sigh came out of Ethan's mouth in annoyance. He approached Caster. "CU, TAKE OLGA!" He threw his Master at the Irish guy to catch her. "IF YOU TOUCH HER IN A WEIRD PLACE, YOU'RE GONNA BE MY PRACTICE TARGET FOR MY NP!" He then turned around and charged against Berserker. "AAAAAAAAAH!" Everyone stared at both Berserkers, expecting something amazing to happen. "HELL NO!" Ethan slid between his opponent legs. Unfortunately for him; he ended looking at the Greek hero's crotch. "MY EYES!" He got up, covering his eyeballs "THEY'RE BLEEDING!" He stared at Berserker. "DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT UNDERWEAR IS?! I THINK YOU HAVE A MUTATION THERE! JESUS!" Heracles roared apparently and somehow angrier than ever, starting to chase Ethan. "Uh oh. GOTTA GO FAST!" Both Servants were lost from sight in matter of seconds.

"*Sigh* …I definitely see why that kid is a Berserker" Cu commented, putting Olga down.

"I don't think logic applies to Pierce-senpai. His eyes were actually bleeding." Mash said, worriedly.

"But I believe he'd be fine if he can maintain his state of mind… maybe." Lily added, doubtful.

"I think that's more of a problem than anything else." Fujimaru responded. Olga sighed tiredly, not knowing if she was lucky of becoming a Master or unfortunate that he was her Servant. "So… now what?"

…

…

They stayed there for five minutes.

"Why are you still here?" Everyone looked at Ethan who'd just landed behind them.

"Oh, we were waiting for ya, kid." Cu was the first to answer.

"How did you get away from that thing?" The Director asked.

"Ah, I used my prana to conceal my presence, turning a corner." He responded.

"Presence Concealment" His Master said.

"Of courses, how could I possibly forget its name?" Ethan said, rolling his eyes in a sarcastic way that immediately annoyed Olga. "Whatever. Ritsuka, check this guy stats, I want to know his luck, and see if that was the cause of this predicament" He demanded, pointing at Cu.

"Um~…." Fujimaru took a moment "His luck is D. Mash is C. And lily is A+, wow."

"HAAAAAAAAAAA~?!" Everyone looked at Olga.

"What happen, my Masta?" Ethan asked.

"Your luck is E-. How is that even possible?" She was clearly not happy.

"Hm… That actually explains a lot." He was wondering looking at the sky, but then, when he looked down, he found everyone staring at him as if they were seeing a cockroach that have to be killed. "Okay, before any attempt against my life, let me explain."

"You better do it." Olga said.

"First, I think that's my luck and not the Servant's. Don't ask how it's possible because I don't know." He silenced Olga and the other servants that were about to ask. "Second, just think about it. I was forced against my will to come to Chaldea only because I felt generous and donated some blood, then I was impale trying to save people, I became a Servant and ended up here. After that, my first battle got interrupted because I had to attend the call of nature, and… I think Heracles attack us because he felt that another Berserker enter his 'territory', and yes, I'm talking like if we were animals." He then took a look at them. Everyone had a poker face.

"Get away from us!" Ritsuka yelled like if he was the embodiment of the plague.

"Well, well. Master, it may not be that bad… maybe?" Lily tried to reason.

"This remembered me of a day before I was forced to come at Chaldea." All the eyes focused on him. "I went to the city to eat in a new restaurant. On the way, a fly flied directly into my mouth, apparently the fly just ended its meal (If you know what I mean) because it tasted awful, then right after, another enter my mouth as well, one of them never left it. Luckily the food wiped the taste though. Then on my way home a bird decided to drop a bomb over my head and I think I stomped over of what the flies ate. So yeah, I clearly see why the bad luck."

He then took another look. Olga was looking at him with disgust; Ritsuka was trying to no throw up; Mash and Lily were averting their faces; Cu was surprisingly okay. "Aaaaaaaaaand… It's gone." Ethan said.

"What?" Cu asked.

"My chance to receive a kiss from any of them." He pointed with his thumb at the girls, who flushed a little bit despite of the situation. "You're still gonna kiss me, right Cu?"

"Fuck off, faggot!" Caster yelled immediately.

"I'm not the one who looks like one." Ethan smirked.

"Oooooooohhhhhhh~" Ritsuka chanted, regaining her normal mood.

* * *

 **A/N: Things about Ethan are going to appear when they're shown on a chapter.**

 **Noble Phantasm: Name: Spirit-Slayer of Chaldea. True Name: ?**

 **Classification: Anti-Unit**

 **Rank: C+**

 **Type: Quick**

 **Deck: (Just for fun) QQABB**

 **Q: 5 Hits**

 **A: 3 Hits**

 **B: 1 Hit**

 **Extra: 4 Hits**

 **Active Skills (Reveled):**

 **********'s Sake (A): Alcoholic drink in a gourd that replenishes itself. Can heal any wounds and cleanse any state of the mind and body. But if someone has bad resistance, they may end up drunk. Because any good drink tastes better if it's shared, this skill can be targetable.**

 **Passive Skills (Reveled):**

 **Independent Action (EX): Being the madness not only present in the vessel but in the actual Heroic Spirit, it makes him uncontrollable and because of "********* *** *******" skill, he really isn't in a need of a Master to exist. He's bounded with his Master just because he wanted that way, but no one actually knows about it. And the weaker Commands Spells that were provided to his Master doesn't help either.**

 **Personal Skills:**

 **Stupidity (EX): Because is rare for him to take something seriously, people around him tend to become a little more stupid, making his shenanigans happened flawlessly. It's like an aura that cause a mental debuff to everyone but him. (Allies and enemies alike) But hey, it helps to keep the party's mood.**

 **Stats:**

 **Strength: A Endurance: A**

 **(** ▄ ▄ ▄ ▄ ▄ **) (** ▄ ▄ ▄ ▄ ▄ **)**

 **Agility: A+ Mana: A**

 **(** ▄ ▄ ▄ ▄ ▄ **) (** ▄ ▄ ▄ ▄ ▄ **)**

 **Luck: E- NP: C+**

 **(** ▄ — — — — **) (** ▄ ▄ ▄ — — **)**

* * *

 **So, now that you have data about Ethan, I wonder. "Did you notice it?" Something in the chapter doesn't match with something I just gave you. Of course, it's a small detail but I really wonder how many will notice, this is something that separate casuals from fans. (Even if I just learned it from the wiki) You can play along or just ignored it, either way it's gonna be explain in the next chapter.**

 **Oh, and by the way, I would really appreciate if someone tells me about the fight scene with Benkei; it's my first time writing that, so I need to know how was it.**

 **Well that's all for now. Next one it's gonna take its time because Swimsuit** **Shisho is gonna arrived and for a free to play like me, that's a big fucking deal.**

 **Ok as always. Read you later**


	3. Ch 3 - Sword and Shield of Chaldea

**A/N: Hey guy… … I know I'm fucking late, but have you ever had a feeling that, when you start something, all planets line themselves to fuck you up? Well whatever. First, thanks to every new reader that found my story of their liking. Second, I bring you your order of extra thicc and extra-large chapter of 15k words with extra dip on it, without the A/Ns (Don't say I don't love ya). Third, this A/N is big because I have to explain quite a shit, so you can skip it if you want. With that let's go to the reviews.**

 **To Tree45: Man you always make me think everything over and over again, I like it, never change. First, you are comparing a Servant that you already know with one you know so much little about; when you know who it is, you'll see why is that. Second, the skills, the Madness enhancement is explain at the end of this. Now, his Independent Action, the names are self-explanatory. The Servant can take actions by themselves and subsist without a Master,** _ **but**_ **, the servant** _ **has**_ **to already be summoned by a Master. Think in EMIYA, Rin use a CS on him because he wanted to do whatever he want, that is Independent Action, the best way to treat a Servant with that is through CS, and the ones form Chaldea… yeah, you see my point here and I know, Olga didn't summon him, but the one who did was Ethan (Also, I see a lot of people thinking that Ethan is the Servant or that's the impression it gives me, they are separate entities). In addition, Independent Manifestation is also self-explanatory. An entity can manifest themselves because is stipulated by the world that that entity is still alive, this is usual given to Beast-class and also that meme mage of Camelot have it as well, you know, that buster fucker that is going to come on December, that one. Phew, that took some time. The rest see it yourself.**

 **To Gabriel790: I'm glad you find it funny and uff man Arc 2, it's a long road but that is the plan.**

 **To flitterflux: Say that to my Ushi and Golden Rider. But seriously, thanks, I'll try my best.**

 **To Guest: Spanish filter on/** **Tranquilo amigo, puedo entenderte perfectamente, y puedes comentar en español con confianza, y muchas gracias, me alegro que te haya gustado tanto. /** **Spanish filter off.**

 **To Jyusei Kumo-san and BloodChamp: Neither of you know how happy that made me, I had a smile for an entire day.**

 **Now that we are here. I see a lot of people (Hey when two people is A LOT?) saying that Ethan reminds them of Deadpool, and that's because his personality is based on him, with a ton of other more, like Kasuma from Konosuba, Hidenori Tabata from DLHSB, Zeed from 4 Cut Hero (One of my favorites, go read that shit before this), ETC.**

 **Another thing, the thing I said that didn't match in the last chapter. And it was… … … … Ethan technically couldn't have taken a life of Herc. Why? Well, you see, God Hand (Herc NP) Nullify any and every attack that is below B rank (Fucking broken Servant am I right?) It doesn't stop the attack, just nullify it, and in case for example a Fire attack killed him, he revived with fucking 200 resistance to fire, if this happen again then is 400 now. (This is why I question Archer from the first FSN. How the fuck he took 7 lives? When in UBW Caladbolg did fucking nothing.) Ethan killed him because his NP is the actual swing and not the weapon itself. (Yes, this implies he could use it with pipe-chan or stop-kun) God Hand nullified the NP, but the sword is A rank, so yeah is like a cheat on God Hand functionality. The NP hit the building behind him. (Conclusion, unless your name is motherfucking Gilgamesh or you are an OP protagonist you can't kill this pile of man meat)**

 **That's everything… God, that was too fucking long. Now, into the chapter.**

* * *

 **Sword and Shield of Chaldea.**

After an epic insults battle between both male Servants, the group decided to rest at the city school.

Now they were in the backyard of the school to train Mash on the mystical arts of the Noble Phantasms. She was fighting against Caster while her Master and Lily became her cheerleaders.

"Aren't you going to help her?" Olga said to her Servant. She was sitting, embracing her knees.

"And… why should do that, my hysteric white haired girl?" Ethan answered with another question. He was tickling Fou, who was on his legs.

"Because you already know how to use yours, and I'm not hysterical!" She glared at the black haired boy.

"Pff hahahahaha. You just went hysteric." His Master gritted her teeth. "Okay, clam down. I believe she is capable to figure it out herself." He looked at the Demi-servant, then, he put his hands around his mouth. "Yeah, Mash! You have him where you want it!"

"Shut up! You just distracted her when she was on it, you idiotic humanoid black cat!" Ritsuka yelled at him immediately.

"Is that supposed to be an insult?! Cats are awesome!" He shouted in replied.

"SHUT UP!" Fujimaru lost her temper.

"Make me!" The red haired Master was completely red of fury while snarling at him. "Ah~ I love making people mad at me in the morning with no apparent reason whatsoever."

"It's evening!" Olga yelled.

"Details, details." He waved his hand.

"What a fucking prick." Cu commented.

"I love you too, my Cu darling!" With that response, a chill ran down Caster's back while remembering a certain pink haired woman. "That idiot didn't learn his lesson in our battle."

"Okay, this is enough! Come with me." Olga said authoritatively, getting up in the process.

"*Gasp* I didn't think you were the aggressive type, Olga. Asking me on a date so suddenly." He embraced his own body.

"It's not a date, you idiot!" She yelled with a blush on her cheeks. "Just do it!" She turned and started walking.

"Fou, watch over the girl for the time been." Ethan got up and followed his Master.

"Fou!"

On the distance, a smiling Ritsuka clenched her fist. " _Thank you Director. Just endure it until Mash unlocks her NP."_ She said in her mind.

* * *

"So… what are we going to do on our date?" Ethan asked. "Oh, oh, oh, I know. What about to go to the movies? I heard there's a premiere; the story is about a couple that is chased down by a bunch of spooky scary skeletons. It's called 'Ethan and Olga against the bone'."

"This is not a date, and can't you shut up for a second?!" They were walking through the corridors of the school.

"No, I can't. It's a disease called 'Talkinitus'. If I don't talk, I'll slowly lose my sanity and die."

"I think it's going to give me a migraine." Olga said rubbing her temples. "I just want you to answer some questions. Can you please take it seriously this time?"

"I don't know. Can I?" His Master stopped, turned around and grabbed the neck of his kimono, giving him a frown. "I'll try my best." He gave her a smile.

"Fine." She let him go and they continue their walk, this time to the next floor. "I want to know, how did you find out about the experiment that my… father did?"

"Ah~ that…" Ethan crossed his arms. "Internet." He answered.

"What! Don't be stupid. Everything that has to be with Magecraft it's kept away from common knowledge. I told you to take it seriously."

"That was a serious answer." His Master stopped and looked at his expression, he wasn't lying. "Do you know what the 'Deep web' is?"

"No." She answered.

"Good, if you knew about that, I would send my ass directly to the throne of heroes" He put his hands behind his head. "It's basically the dark side of internet, you can find everything, and when I say everything, I mean really fucked up shit, like, humongous shit, like, all the shit in the world, like—"

"I get it!" Olga interrupted him. "When we finished this, I'll call the mage's association to take care of that."

"Sure. If what you want is to tell the world: 'Hey, we actually exist', go for it"

"What?!" She shouted, dumbfounded.

"You don't mess with the Internet, Olga; the Internet messes with you." Eventually, they arrived to the rooftop.

"What are we going to do here?" Ethan looked around. "*Gasp* Are we going to jump straight at third base? My kokoro is not prepared…" He put a hand on his chest. "But my lower 'me' is ready, so let's do it." He clenched his fist.

A hand swung fast at his cheek. "O-o-of course not! D-do-don't get the wrong idea!" Olga was stuttering with her face completely red.

"A guy and a girl walk to the school rooftop, alone. What else I was supposed to think?" He rubbed his cheek. "By the way, the fact that you reacted that way means you knew of what I was talking about. You're a naughty girl, Olga." He smirked.

"F-f-forget about that!" She yelled at him, her face getting even redder, while hitting his torso with the side of her fists but without their normal strength. She didn't notice, but her Servant was trying really hard to not laugh his ass off.

"Well, well." The black haired boy grinned and grabbed one of her wrists, making her stop suddenly, her eyes froze on his owns. "Don't worry. I'd never do something you wouldn't like." Moving boldly and without breaking eye contact, he placed his other hand on the back of her waist, pulling her closer and making her shriek. He approached his head slowly, getting closer and closer, clearly aiming for her lips.

"S… s… s-s- **STOP!** " her right wrist glowed red, her servant stopped a few centimeters away of her lips. She immediately pushed him away, making him fall sat.

"What a way to waste a command spell." He said, starting to chuckle. Olga stared at him while covering her mouth, with her face completely red. "You know? I'm really good at reading people faces and body language. You weren't really opposed to the idea, you know. Does that explanation satisfy you?"

The female magus frowned. Was she really that easy to read? "It's that how you can trigger anyone you meet?"

"What can I say? It's my gift and my curse." He said sarcastically with a shrug. "So… what are we going to do here?" His Master averted her gaze with a pout.

"So you were just playing with me…" Olga muttered.

"Did you say something?"

"Nothing." She turned around.

"I see." Ethan got up. "I'm gonna see how the others are doing." He pointed at the balcony and walked in that direction. Olga simply decided to ignore him. " _By the way, I just wanted to hear it again, and no, I wasn't playing with you._ " She flinched, hearing that last sentences in her head.

* * *

Minutes passed. The white haired girl finished drawing a magical circle on the rooftop floor.

"Uff~ so close." Ethan said, watching Mash failing again. His Master glanced at him every now and then. "Ah~ I was expecting she had done it by now. Maybe it's my fault?"

He had been talking to himself for quite a while. Not talking to her or not doing anything weird or annoying made Olga feel uncomfortable in some way. She glanced in his direction again. "Wah!~" She fell on her butt, surprised by his face being a few inches away when she moved her eyes.

"Do I have something in my face?" Ethan tilted his head in confusion. "Is there something in my teeth?" He made a weird face while inspecting them with his tongue.

"Don't scare me like that!" Olga said regaining her composure.

"Well, you've been looking at me a lot." He extended his hand to help her up.

"It was nothing." Proudly, she declined his offer and got up on her own.

"If you say so… Then… What is this circle for?" He looked at the complicated magic circle.

"Well, it's…" She remembered that he is not as skilled in magecraft, so she decided to go simple. "It's going to make this little rocks into quick spells, like a barrier or an explosive or everything that's needed it for the upcuming battles."

"Ooooooooh~" He jumped backward, getting out of the circle and sitting down on the floor. "That sounds awesome. Show me, show me!" He looked at Olga as a kid would look at the tv on his favorite show.

His Master became a little flustered and embarrassed with his reaction.

It didn't take her much effort; after all, the circle did almost all the job.

"Impressive." Ethan said picking one of the rocks up. "They're full charged with prana." He then looked at a normal rock. "I wonder if I could do it myself." He said, taking it with his other hand.

"Don't be stupid. Things like this require a lot of training and preparation." Olga protested, crossing her arms.

"Okay, I get it. But I could give it a try, right?" He smiled at his Master which just huffed in responds. He closed his eyes along with his hand, beginning to pump his prana through his circuits in the direction of the rock.

Half a minute passed when he decided to stop. He put his hand in front of his face and opened it.

"See, I told you." Olga said when she found dust on his hand.

He sighed in disappointment. "I guess I don't have the 'protag OPness' to do everything in my first try. Well, I've never done anything on the first try anyway." He murmured. "Whatever. After all, I'm not the protag here."

"Did you say something?" His Master asked.

"No, it was nothing. I was just talking to my—" Wind blew in his direction, blowing away the dust that ended up all over his face. He coughed and sneezed at the same time while scratching his eyes.

"Your luck really sucks, you know?" Olga commented while cringing.

"My eyes! I need water!" He materialized his gourd, carrying it over his face.

"Wait!" Olga extended her hand hurriedly. "I don't think it's a good ide—"

"Ahg! My eyes!" She was late. "You're supposed to heal me, not produce even more pain!" The sake ended up in his mouth, so he healed anyway, after some painful moments of course.

"*Sigh* I don't know if I want to laugh or cry." The white haired girl said.

"Well, well, at least now I know that this only works if you drink it." Her Servant said with a silly smile.

"That was really obvious, you know?!" She lost her temper, but then something interrupted her. Her stomach growled.

"I know that I'm a total Sherlock but I'll ask anyway. Are you hungry?" Ethan asked with a blank face.

"And what if I am?! It's been a long day, okay?!" She yelled completely red in embarrassment.

"So… Do you want some?" Ethan asked, taking out a can from one of his sleeves.

"Where did you…?"

"Did you actually think I took 30 minutes on the toilet?" He asked with a smug face. "Well, yeah I could take a shit of even one hour, but that's not the point here."

"What's inside?"

"*Sniff* *Sniff* Peach. You want it or nah?"

Olga took her time to think about it. "Fine, now open it." Her Servant nodded and put the can on the floor. "You know? You're actually pleasant when you act normal."

"You shouldn't talk so early!" He shouted, materializing his sword over his shoulder and immediately swung it against the can. Olga reacted by instinct, using a rock to create a barrier, so as not to get stained with the content of the can. "So those really are quick spells."

"What is wrong with you?!" She yelled. "You could open it with your own hands now!"

"Oh yeah… I forgot." His Master started trembling out of anger while grinding her teeth. She wanted to kill him. "Are you still going to eat it?" He asked, pointing at one piece of peach that got stuck on his cheek.

"Ew, gross. That's inedible now that it touched you."

"Okay." He took the hunk and threw it into his mouth. He then looked at Olga, she was grumbling, probably about him, until another growl from her stomach interrupted her. "Here, have a Snickers. You're not yourself when you're hungry." He tossed her the snack.

"I'm not myself because of you!" She caught it.

"Better?"

"I haven't even taken a bite! Okay?!" She was having problems opened its wrapper.

"Tsk, it's not funny if you don't get it." He murmured clicking his tongue, having mixed feeling with her reaction.

A minute passed and Olga was still struggling with the wrapper. "Need help?"

"Quiet." She demanded, full focused on the snack with a frown.

"Oh, no, emm, okay." He shut up and focused on her Master, while resting his head on his right arm.

Another minute passed until she was able to open it. Her face immediately turned to the happiest face she could ever have made. Her Servant had a poker face. " _*Breathe in* Hmmmmmmmm!_ " But on the inside he was melting like an ice cream on summer due to her cuteness. "* _Breathe in* HMMMMMMMMMMMMM!_ " It took him a lot of self-control to not jump at her and hug her and praise her for all her effort.

Minutes passed, they were now sitting on the floor and Olga had finished her Snikers. Ethan looked at her. "Olga." His Master turned her head when she heard her name. A hand went to her right cheek and cleaned a bit of chocolate with its thumb, making her closed her right eye like a child who is cleaned by her mother. The hand retired with its prize and approached to the mouth of its owner. The thumb was licked.

The whole situation went so natural that her reaction was delayed; when she realized, went completely red and covered her mouth immediately. She gave him a frown and he looked at her with a poker face. Then immediately he started to suck his thumb like a baby with famine, the same thumb that just touched her face. "Kyaaaaaaa~!" She jumped over him to stop him just by reaction and ended up on a compromised position with she on top, grabbing his wrists.

"Pff Hahahahahahaha~" With his laughter she realized that, she had been playing in his hand the whole time. 'Not falling in his pranks, not giving him any satisfaction' yeah, what a joke. "Okay, okay. (haha) I'll stop, I'll stop… (*sigh*) for now." He murmured the last part.

She moved and stood up, turning quickly. She was red, extremely red, and the worst part that bothered her was that she didn't know for what reason anymore.

"We should go back, now." Ethan said behind her. She just gave him a little nod.

* * *

When Master and Servant arrived to the backyard, everyone stopped what they were doing and went towards them.

"You take too long. I was beginning to fear for The Director's safety." Ritsuka was the first to talk.

"Hey, hey, I'm not a rapist, okay?" Ethan defended himself. "I have standards." He pressed his fingers against his chest to look offended.

"What is he talking about?" Cu whispered to Lily.

"I have no idea." She whispered back.

"So… have you unlocked your NP, Mash?" Ethan asked.

"Sorry Pierce-Senpai. I haven't." She shook her head sadly.

"*Sigh* Just what I thought." He scratched the back of his head. "And you two are not good teachers." He looked at the two other Servants.

"I'm sorry." Lily apologized.

"I tried my best here, kid!" Cu was offended. "I don't see you doing anything."

"No, this is my fault." Mash stepped in.

"Don't be harsh with yourself, Mash, okay?" Ethan said. "I guess I have no choice here. It's time for the ultimate motivation."

"What are you going to—" Fujimaru asked but got interrupted.

"Do it!" Ethan made a weird pose. "Just do it!" Everyone got astounded with his shout. "Don't let your dream be dreams."

"What?" Everyone wondered in confusion, except Mash, who was a little bit afraid, and Ritsuka that palmed her face.

"Yesterday you said tomorrow. So just do it! Make your dreams come true! Just dooo it! ... … Some people— Gugh" A fist from a red haired girl in his stomach interrupted him.

"Stop it, Shia." Ritsuka said, eyes closed, struggling for control.

"I'm glad that you get it…" Ethan replied as he fell to the ground.

Everyone except for Mash and Lily stared at him with derogatory faces. "Hng!" Ritsuka swung her foot one last time to make sure the job was done, even if she herself knew deep down that he was just playing along with her actions.

"… … … Okay, that didn't help at anything." Cu said after seconds of waiting for the other male Servant to give any life signals.

"Well, well." Everyone flinched at Ethan voice as if a cockroach just came back to life. "Mash. You just have to relate an emotion to the action you want to perform. For example: when I used my Np back there, my emotion was 'If I don't kill this guy, he is going to kill the girls… …and Cu'."

"Don't forget me, you bastard!" Cu kicked his body out of frustration.

"How about if you use the same emotion, but on a defensive way, like 'If I don't stop this attack, it's going to kill the others… … and Cu'."

"You're doing it on purpose, right?!" Caster crouched and grabbed him by his kimono's neck. "Are you picking a fight?! Huh?!" Ethan had the smuggest face of his life when Cu stared at him, open mouth included. Cu inhaled deeply, while raising his fist. His temple was visible.

"Leave it, Cu. Don't lower yourself to his level." His temporal Master spoke to him. He stopped.

"Haha! How does it feel to be a coward?!" Caster's fist went wild but Ethan dodged quickly, rolling away. "Nice broken hand, beach." Ethan stood up, and no he did not stutter

"I'm gonna kill him…" Cu said. In this situation was hard to tell who the actual berserker class was.

"Guys, stop this. This is not funny anymore." Ritsuka demanded with a serious face. Olga shared the same sentiment.

Ethan moved faster, getting in between the two Master. "Command spells are forbidden from now on." He said quickly, tapping their noses with a boop, as he jumped away, making some distances.

What they didn't notice was that he used his prana to destabilize them. Both female Master found themselves sitting on the ground, disoriented.

"Come on, Cu. Give me the best you got!" Ethan provoked with open arms. "I bet it's gonna be a stick on fire."

"Oh, I got ya! I'll give you something special!" Caster said with a smile but his face was pissed.

Ethan threw himself on the ground, and he made himself comfortable. "Okay, time to do the soundtrack. *Starts whistling Kyrielight "Suite"*" He examined his nails, as if he didn't give a fuck about his current situation.

" **Burn up, tree giant—** " With those words, a flaming circle appeared around Cu.

"Is he not going to defend himself?" Lily asked worriedly, as she aided both Masters.

" _If I don't stop this attack, it's going to kill the others."_ Ethan's voice echoed Mash's head.

" **Wickerman!** " A large burning humanoid figure was summoned from a circle on the ground and started walking in Ethan's direction.

A feminine figure with a big shield appeared in front of berserker, facing up the giant. This made the guy behind her have a wide grin.

"HAAAAAAAAAAAA!" With all her effort she stuck the shield on the ground. And from the light that it started to produce, a bigger version of the shield made of blue prana materialized.

When both Noble Phantasms collided, the pressure of the atmosphere exploded. And after a few seconds, the giant was repelled.

Mash could just sigh in relief. Ethan head popped out from above her right shoulder. "You got it?" He asked with a dumb smile.

"I-I think… Yes, yes Pierce-senpai!" She answered happy. "Woah." The purple haired girl got surprised when her senpai carried her like a princess.

"She got it!" He started to toss her upwards. "Who is the big, strong and independent girl that got her NP? Yes you are, yes you are."

"Hahahaha~ please stop, Pierce-senpai. You're embarrassing me." She said with a little blush.

"Okay, okay." He put her down.

"That was uncalled for!" Olga yelled at her Servant, now fully recovered along with Fujimaru.

"Sorry, I had to make it realistic, and Command Spells were on the way." He responded with a smile.

"And what would've happened if Mash hadn't protected you?!" This time was Ritsuka who yelled at him.

"Everything was under control." Ethan waved his hand. "Cu would have stop midway, right?" He looked at the Irish man. "I must say. You were really convincing with all that 'I'm going to kill him' thing. I'd give you an Oscar but DiCaprio deserve it more, sorry."

"Even if I knew about your plan, I was actually going to kill you if the young lady didn't interfere." Caster said looking at Ethan dead in the eyes. "You are the most annoying creature I ever have the displeasure to meet, kid."

"So… are you gonna give a present for that? Woops." Ethan ducked at some fireballs.

"That's your present."

"Oh~ man, how did you know? … I love fire!" Ethan said, impaling a marshmallow (which he took out from somewhere) on a stick; and started toasting it with the remaining fire of Cu's attack.

Caster clenched his fists and gritted his teeth.

"So you actually could have died?!" Ritsuka shouted as approaching Ethan. "That was reckless!" She took Ethan's arm that held the stick and brought it to her face. "*Om* I *munch* definitely don't *munch, munch* approve this. *gulp*"

"Tasty?" The black haired guy asked with a grin, to what she only nodded while trying to clean her grinders with her tongue. "Well~ Don't worry too much. I trusted Mash one hundred percent."

"Normal people don't trust other so easily and in their totality." Olga stepped in, trying to sound smart.

"So, I'm normal now?" Her Servant asked.

"*Sigh* You're right." She grabbed the bridge of her nose. "How can I accept that you're not normal so easily?!" The Director asked confused and upset.

"You're just getting used to it; and besides, when someone that can use literal magic, started to be considered 'normal'? That's the real question here." Ethan said.

"Hey, kid." Everyone looked at Caster. "My Noble Phantasm cost a lot of mana with your plan, and we are going to a real fight in no time. What are you going to do about it?"

"Oh? Well, how about a mana transfer from me?" He asked.

"No way, faggot!"

"Faggot? I was talking about my blood. Is there another way to do a mana transfer?" Ethan asked, genuinely confused. All the girls were a little bit red except Ritsuka that was equally confused. "Well, whatever." He pulled out a hunting knife from his pocket (If that kimono has any, of course) and cut his index finger to make it bleed. "There you go. Bottoms up, boy." He extended his hand; its circuits were already activated.

Cu looked at his finger with cold sweat running his forehead. "I guess this is the only way." He looked at Ethan face and noticed how he moved his eyes quickly to point at the girls discreetly. When he looked at the girls, he found that Ritsuka was watching them intensely; Mash was covering her face but was looking through her fingers, Olga and Lily were trying to not look interested but every now and then they glanced on their direction. " _What the fuck?_ " Cu thought, and then stared at Ethan again. The young man moved his lips trying to say something without making a sound, It was the same than before, when Ethan told him about his plan when Cu grabbed him on the ground. " _Fu-jo-shis. The heck is that?_ " He shook his head, deciding to ignore them. "Ah~m *gulp, gulp, gulp*" He started to drink his partner's blood.

"Ah~" Ethan moaned loudly. "Yes, Cu; receive everything I got." Cu got uncomfortable as he blushed. "Ha~ I going to finish insiiiiiide~!" Ethan made an ahegao face.

"You fucking bastard!" Cu lost his temper and grabbed Ethan by the neck of his kimono.

Ethan moved his head slightly on the girls' direction with a grin on his face. When Caster moved his eyes he found a scene that he was not expecting. His temporal Master was having problems with the blood coming out of her nose, Mash was covering her mouth with her eyes wide open, Lily had her hands over her face while shaking her head repeatedly and Olga was looking at the opposite direction but her ears were completely red and an intense breathe could be heard from her direction.

"When we head back to Chaldea, I'm going to charg them for this fanservice, somehow." Ethan said, gaining a disbelief and cringy look from Caster. "By the way… I'm the 'Seme' in this relationship and I only accept being the 'Uke' twice a week." He said like if he was talking of the weather.

"The worst part it's, that I still don't know what you're talking about, but the killing intent just keep rising." The blue haired man responded. His eyes went to the hunting knife that was still on Ethan hand and remember all the stuff he had been pulling out of nowhere. "Where do all those things come from?"

"Yeah, I'd like to know that too." Fujimaru's voice caught their attention. She approached them and then took Ethan's sleeve to clean the crimson liquid on her face; waiting to see if that bothered him.

"Aw, sick. Now I look like if I've just murdered someone, more badassness to my character." It was the opposite. "And to answer your question. You know what the best part of being a magic user is?" He paused. "That every question can be answer with: 'Magic', and still be a valid answer." Cu got annoyed, that was clever.

"Even the knife?" Ritsuka asked.

"Oh no, It is my faithful companion, it never leave my side." He looked at the knife. "It's been with me even before I came to Chaldea. You never know what kind of crazy and dangerous people you will find."

" _With that, you are the craziest and most dangerous person of all_." Everyone thought that.

"Then why didn't you use that as a weapon from the start?!" Olga yelled at him, clearly annoyed.

"*Gasp* Did you see what happened to Pipe-chan and Stop-kun?!" He put the knife against his chest, like a father would take his child. "Knife-onee-chan is not going through that!" He lowered his head. "I can go through that. I can't. Not again… I'm not… strong enough." He seemed depress.

" _Now he is Mr. Incredible._ " Ritsuka thought.

"You really don't want to see me on an emotional breakdown." Aaaand, he was normal again. He noticed Mash, who was looking at her shield. "It's something wrong, Mash?" The others paid their attention to the Demi-Servant girl.

"Eh? Oh, no, it's just… I don't know how to name it." She put her hand over said weapon.

"How about 'Lord Chaldeas'?" The Director said. "That has a meaning for you, right?

"So original." Her servant replied sarcastically, gaining a frown from her. "Well, as long she is happy with that." He said looking at the smiling girl.

"Lord Chaldeas." She echoed, rubbing her new companion.

After that, they decided to rest a little to prepare for the next battles. They wanted to finish with the singularity on that day.

"Okay, so, what are we going to do?" Caster asked, resting his back against a wall.

"I have a plan…" Olga said. Everyone paid her attention.

"And now we are going to jump to a battle scene, with no explanation of this plan whatsoever." Ethan spoke enthusiastically at nothing.

* * *

 **A/N:** **Hey it's me again, just to say that is most likely that you're going to forget this part that you just read by the end of the chapter because of how long it is, so why don't you go and pick some snacks, maybe go to the bathroom to think about what you just read, or write two reviews. (Sorry for interrupt your read) Ok, I'm just passing by, ciao~.**

* * *

"Ooor~ maybe not." Ethan spoke at nothing again.

"Yeah, count me in!" Cu said exited. "Whatever plan on which I ended up fighting against that Archer, it's good for me." He had a wide grin on his face.

Ethan glanced at Caster and then focused on the two female Servants. "Can you two resist until I finish my part?" He asked casually, hiding his concern with a grin.

"Yes, I'll do my best, Pierse-senpai." Mash answer rather cutely, clenching both of her fist in front of her.

"Even if we're fighting against a more experienced me, and even if I'm still in training, I'll do whatever I can." Artoria answered reassuringly.

"Forget about the girls, kid." Caster hit Berserker's shoulder lightly. "You should focus on your task. You're against a Servant on your own, and we already know how the last one went."

"I had that one in the bag until a literal pile of crap got on the way." He pointed at his butt, which made everyone chuckle a little. "And besides, I'm a bag full of surprises; I'll figure it out somehow." No one knew if he was talking figuratively or literally because of all the things he had been pulling out of nowhere. "And you, you can't let the battle blind you, okay?"

"I know, I know, I'm the real Servant here, remember?" Cu pointed at himself with his thumb.

"You're just an easy target to make fun of." Ethan snickered.

"You're lucky I'm not Lancer class." Caster said, face to face with Ethan.

"Hey, remember, Luck E- here, buddy. If I was lucky, you would be Lancer to give me the opportunity to say: 'Ranza ga shinda! Kono hitodenashi!' cause you would've died like seven times already."

"Okay, forget about Archer!" But before anything could heat up even more, their respective Masters positioned themselves in front of their Servants.

"Okay, enough of this!" Ritsuka snapped with a frown. Caster just hummed and walked away.

"Why do you have to be like that?!" Olga reproached her Servant.

"I'm just keeping him focused… in a weird way." Ethan extended his hand to pat her head.

She slapped it away. "No, this is not funny anymore!" She was dead serious.

Her Servant's eyes were wide open in surprise by her actions. Then, he gave her a dumb smile. "So you do find me funny, huh?" That caught her off guard, making all her seriousness to vanish; changing her expression for one of embarrassment. "Don't worry though." He stirred her hair with the other hand when she was lost in her thoughts. "It may not look like it, because you're women but—"

"Wow. Sexist." Ritsuka commented on the background.

"*Chuckle* Buuuut, Cu and I actually get along. Isn't that right, Cu?" He asked to the Irish man that was sitting casually on a boulder.

"Fuck you!" Caster responded immediately, making Olga give an incredulous look to her Servant. "But the kid is right. I'm just tired of his attitude. I think… we could get along."

"Oh~ that's just a big and manly tsundere." Ethan received a frown form Cu that said 'are you going to continue with this?' to him. "Okay, I think we should start get moving."

"Yeah, time to kick some corrupted Servant ass!" Fujimaru shouted on a cheerfully way with a raised fist.

* * *

Following the plan, Berserker and Caster where walking calmly, thirty meters ahead of the girls on their way to the cave; the former was now wearing his demon mask, with his gigantic rusty sword on his right shoulder; the latter had his staff on his shoulders, with his hood on.

"We look fucking badass." Ethan broke the silence.

"Don't ruin it." Cu responded. They were getting close to the cave.

With a quick move of his hand, Cu threw three fireballs, intercepting three arrows. On the other hand, Ethan caught a nail that was aimed at his face with his free hand.

"It seems that you got an ally, Caster." A deep male voice came from a branch of a tree at one side of the path

"Oh, don't worry; I'm enough to burn your ass… Archer" Cu said, spotting the tanned skin man.

Ethan spotted the purple haired woman on a branch at the other side of the path. "Did you miss me, baby?" He let go the nail, while disappearing his mask to show his face.

"Yes~, I was aching to tear your face off, hehe." Rider licked her lips in anticipation.

"Uff, oh boy, I may end up becoming a masochist for that body." Ethan told Cu.

"Focus on the task, kid." He reprimanded, even if he agreed with that statement.

"Hey, don't think I don't see you. What is that big smile of excitement on your face?" Caster chuckled, widening his grin.

"Are you done with your stupid talking?" Rider asked with disdain.

"Are you done with showing me your panties? I thought you had learned the lesson." The girl was gritting her teeth with a blush, regretting having such a short skirt.

"Don't get stabbed, kid." Caster said extending his fist to his partner, without taking his eyes off Archer.

"Yeah, yeah. Don't get arrowed, man." He did the same. Without taking his eyes off the woman, he extended his fist to connect with the other.

When both fist connected, the four Servants disappeared at high speed.

"Okay, that went better than I thought." Ritsuka's head popped out from behind a tree along with Mash's head. "Don't you think, Director?" She looked at the white haired girl that was behind of another tree with Lily. "Director?" She called for her superior again, but Olga ignored her a second time; she was too focused looking with a frown on her face at the place where her Servant was only seconds ago. "Director!" Fujimaru raised her voice this time.

"Woah!" Olga was caught off guard. "Eh? Ah, ye-yes, that went well." She was a little flustered.

"Is something wrong?" The red haired girl asked a little worried.

"N-no, it's nothing, I'm fine." She answered with a little blush on her face.

Ritsuka decided not to press any further and leave it like that. After that, the four girls went inside the cave now that the gatekeepers were gone.

* * *

In the middle of the forest, the sound of clashing metal and sparks denoted the battle that was taking place there.

"What's wrong~? Is that all you got?" The arousing female voice echoed through the trees. Rider was jumping form tree to tree at high speed, making her hard to track.

In the middle of that was Ethan, his body was bleeding from some cuts but it was nothing serious. He still had his sword on his right shoulder. " _Okay, this shit is useless in my hands. I just pulled it out for badassness purposes, and now is just dead weight._ " He thought and started to dematerialize his weapon.

Having his guard down, he barely dodged a thrown nail, cutting his left cheek and making the crimson liquid spill out. The nail in question returned its owner's hand. The purple haired girl licked the blood on her weapon while looking at her opponent in an arousing manner. " _Masochism has increase 5% and is now in 35%, 65% remaining to unlock the fetish._ " His voice narrated in his head. "If that get to one hundred I'm dead. On the other hand, I would enjoy it like a baby." He talked to himself.

Taking her opportunity, Rider threw her weapon once again, attempting to finish it right there.

For mere reflexes, Berserker's right hand moved in the way, getting it pierce from side to side.

The woman got down of the trees, calmly.

"Okay, what the actual fuck? How this chain got wrapped on my wrist?" He asked, looking in confusion at his right hand, then, he drew his eyes to the female in front of him and saw the chain went up around a branch and then down to him.

The woman smirked sadistically and tugged of her end of the chain, lifting his hand on the air. "Ah~ I see, you want to play 'Tug of war'. Well, I won't go easy on ya." Ethan said and then pulled his hand down. Rider stumbled from the suddenly force that drag her up, she stared at the man in front of her with a little blush of embarrassment, this was _not_ what she was aiming for.

They continued tugging, each time that the other had them hanging. From an external perspective, they really seemed to be playing to see who was stronger.

After a few long minutes of just grunts and tug of war play, the male decide to give some words to the frustrated woman. "You know that this isn't going anywhere when both of us have the same strength, right?" Ethan pulled his end of the chain again with a stupid smile on his face.

That was the last straw for her. "You've angered me." With that said, some purple sparks came out from the ground beneath her. Monstrous Strength B was activated. "Aaaaarrgggggh!" She cried out and pulled the chain once more.

"Uh oh." That was all that could come out of his mouth. "WoaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" His body was lifted at high speed on the direction to the branch. "Shit!" Ethan shouted when crashing against hard wood, broking it, but that wasn't nearly close to the end of it.

When his body fell on the ground, he was immediately dragged, making him eat dirt, literally, he was devouring the ground due to his open mouth, until he was lifted in the air again. "*Ptui* *Ptui*" He spat repeatedly. "I think I just swallowed an earthworm back there! The poor thing!" He informed his sexy enemy. That annoyed her even more because he sounded like he wasn't even caring for his current situation.

His body got slammed against a tree. "Ouch." Then, another. "Shit." Then, another one. "My pancreas." And another one, but this time with his back. "I think that was my spleen aaand my spine all together."

"WHY! (My gonads. That one really hurt) DON'T! (My left gluteus maximus) YOU! (My right nipple) SHUT! (There went my arms) YOUR! (You got my legs now) MOUTH! (My second spleen and my third pancreas) UP?! (Phew, Thank goodness, I was running out of body parts to name)" Her face was red of pure anger. "HAAA!" She slammed him against the ground with her last drop of strength. Berserker's back hit against it. (I'm just… gonna be quiet here.)

Rider was panting and sweating like if she went through hell and came back. It took her five minutes to regain her composure; she then took a look of her annoying opponent, his state was deplorable; his four limbs were broken, and there wasn't a place where he wasn't bleeding; how the trees looked was proof of his condition. "Ready to die?" The clink of her chains sounded as she prepared her weapons.

"Can I *Cough* *Cough* have a last wish… granted? *Cough* *Cough*" He asked weakly.

The purple haired woman took a moment to think. "You're so pitiful. *Grin* Very well, speak. I feel generous."

"Can I have *Cough* a last drink?" Ethan moved his eyes on his enemy's direction, looking beneath her skirt, again, without her noticing.

"Just that? Very well, drink." She granted it.

"I'm sorry *Cough* my merciful and beautiful enemy. *Cough* But my arms are broken. Can you give it to me? Please."

"Hm." She walked on his direction, disposed to grant it.

"Thanks… It's that gourd over there. *Cough* *Cough* Also, can I rest my head on your lap? *Cough* Those sweet, juicy thighs." He murmured the last part.

That made Rider gave as step back, but with a little blush on her face, she proceeded. "Is this… good?" She moved her hair behind her ear delicately while looking down at him. How she got to this situation, made no sense to her.

"Perfect… *Cough*" She took the gourd and took out the cork. "Can you give it to me… mouth to mouth?"

"Don't push your luck!" Rider yelled, the blush spread on her face even more.

"Yeah, maybe I went too far, hehe." He gained a suspicious look from the woman. "Em I mean… *Cough* *Cough* *COUGH*" He coughed some blood on that last one to look more convincing.

She sighed and approached the gourd to his mouth. Inside of Ethan's head was only one word. " _EASY!_ "

"Wo~ah!" Olga screamed in surprise, drawing the attention of everyone in the cave, including the dark-tainted tyrant. The Director averted her face, trembling with a blush of embarrassment. " _I'm going to kill him when we get back to Chaldea! He is not even here and still managed to mess with me, for God's sake!_ " She cursed her Servant inside her head.

"*GULP* *GULP* *GULP* *GULP* Hah~ Taste even better when it's give it to you by a hot girl." Ethan said with a wide grin.

"Then, it's time." Rider lifted her nail, trying to ignore his embarrassing words.

"Indeed." Ethan's hand grabbed her wrist. On her surprise, he sat up and jumped away and quickly got rid of the nail and chain in his right wrist. "Pfff Hahahahahahahahahaha." He lost his shit. With a hand on a tree to not lose his balance, he pointed at her. "I… haha… I can't breathe… hahahaha~" Tears welled up in his eyes.

Rider got up trembling; her face wasn't visible because she was looking down, but it was red with pure anger, not only against her opponent but also against herself. How could she be deceived by a mere human? She pointed her nail at her neck and with a quick movement, she pierce it, shedding her own blood.

"Aaaaaaahhhggg Je~sus." Ethan wrapped his neck with his own hands, cringing to see such act. "I'm good with my body, but oh god, I can't stand watching other people. It's like the shit, you're good seeing yours but when is from other person is a no no." He covered his mouth to avoid throw up.

A violet magic circle started to appear on front of the purple haired woman, while she dropped her body to get on all fours like a beast. "I'll destroy you gently…"

"Yeeeah… No idea what are you doing but I'm not going to stood there like an idiot." Berserker's voice sounded behind her, what made her shudder, because she was defenseless from that side. "Don't mind my hands~" His wiggling fingers approached her slowly, like male serpents to a female in heat. What he was going to do to her was passing through her imagination, but the fact that he admitted finding her attractive, made her mind go wild. She could only swallow saliva with a blush on her face. If she moved in mid ritual, who knows what could happen.

"*Gasp* Ghg!" She couldn't believe it. "¡! Pff hahahahahahahahaha!" A big and uncontrollable laugh came from her mouth. He was tickling the sides of her waist. Her hatred towards him just grew even more for such humiliation to her pride as a warrior and as a woman.

She couldn't notice it on that moment, but Ethan face was completely serious and his hands were glowing green. Slowly but surely the magic circle was disappearing.

When the circle disappeared, Rider immediately launched a kick that Ethan barely managed to dodge. She used that gap to jump away to a tree. " _Reminder: Masochism is a 99,991%. 0,009% to unlock fetish._ " His voice echoed in his head. "Phew… No more damage from her part then."

When she landed on a branch, she embraced her waist and stared at him, gritting her teeth with a face as red as a tomato, that now she didn't even knew the reason anymore.

"Hey! Hey! Hey! I wasn't raping you, okay?! So don't even try to call the police!" He pointed at her, trying to argumentatively defend himself of the law, even if was out of place because they were both Servants.

They were back at the beginning and she was the one who hated it the most. Rider began again to jump from tree to tree. "You know I can do that too, right?" He appeared out of nowhere with a smirk on the next tree where she was going to land, forcing her to change directions suddenly. "Let's see how fast I can go with this." With that said, he lit up the magic circuits on his legs and shattered the tree when he launched himself.

A loud crash caused Rider to stop, when she saw where the sound came from, she found her opponent was burying his face and body on a tree. "Maybe it was too fast for me!" His voice was barely audible to her due to his face was still against the hard wood. Then, a crack noise came from the bottom part of the tree. "Uh, oh!" He shouted again from the inside of the tree.

The large piece of wood started to fall down with him still stuck on it, it was a disaster with not one but many trees that fell afterwards.

Rider came down of her tree to see if he killed himself with that. She wasn't lucky.

"Nggggg! Ha!" He pulled himself out of the tree leaving his body silhouette due to the reinforcement of his body. "I thought I was going to die."

The purple haired woman clicked her tongue in disappointment. "Just… just let me kill you." She said.

"Oh?" Ethan looked at her and then smile. "Then… Kill me like one of your French boys." He laid down on the tree, making his best attempt of an enticing pose.

"Hng!" She threw her nails, desperately to kill him, but he jumped at the last moment.

"You actually tried to kill me! Rider (that I now realize I still don't know your real name). You have cut me to the quick." He pressed his fingers against his chest. "I thought we have something special going on here."

Rider grunted out of frustration while retrieving her nails. "Take this seriously." She said gritting her teeth.

"No way." Even if he had a smile, now his tone was different from before. "I don't wanna… or… I prefer it doesn't happen." He closed his eyes but kept his smile. "It took me hell to stop being like that." She took advantage of his close eyes and threw her nails, but they got easily caught. "Being a monster, I mean." Even with that smile, when his eyes open they were as sharp as daggers, and for the first time during this battle, Rider felt being in danger. She noticed how her muscles tensed, his eyes paralyzed her. But as soon as she felt it, it disappeared. "Oh god, that sounded fucking edgy." Ethan relaxed his posture. "Edgy Pierce coming in hot out of nowhere and I'm not the god damn indispensable alter of the chapter." He seemed like he was complaining to himself, making Rider even more confused.

"But you're right in something." Berserker let go of her nails. "I should start to finish this fight. There is a fundamental problem, but whatever." He started to give steps backwards. "You know… It may not look like it, but I was the one who chose this stage for the battle." He stopped next to a tree. "This battle was already decided." He disappeared behind the tree.

The female Servant stared at that spot. "Agh, see!" His voice echoed in the woods, but it came from behind her; that unsettled her and put her senses on maximum alert. "That sounded generic as fuck, that's why I don't take shit seriously!" This time the echo came from her right side. "Nobody came here for generic shit!" Now it came from the opposite side.

When this battle began, the roles were given. She was the predator and he was the prey, but now she wasn't so sure about that.

A little sound made her immediately turn her head, finding a little rock. She kept staring at it, waiting for something to happen.

Her eyes widen even further when she felt out of nowhere a weight on her back becoming heavier and heavier. "What you looking at?" His back was resting against hers. She spun rapidly to stab him, but he had already disappeared.

She moved her eyes to the nearest branch and there she found him, but he was different. Through any visible skin of his body something could be seen. Running through his four limbs and in the middle of his face, it could be found a single magic circuit glowing harder than any shown before. The prana was so dense that green sparks popped around his body every now and then.

"What is that?" Rider asked worriedly, she had never seen something like that before.

"I would call it 'One for All: full cowl', but the copyright would kill me, so it doesn't have a name at the moment" Ethan grinned. " _But it's so fuckin prana inefficient that I'm questioning if it's worth it, not to mention that if I lose control is bye bye for me… Why am I explaining this in my head like a fucking retard? I already know this shit._ "

Berserker disappeared again behind the tree. And seconds later he landed behind Rider a few meter away. "You know, my Master is really good with rocks." He said, eyes closed with a smirk. Rider stared at the little rock from before, which was between them. Then, a big flash came from that same rock, blinding her. A second after she felt someone grabbing her wrists and knocking her down, pinning her. When she opened her eyes again, she found him on top of her, giving her a stupid smirk. "Checkmate. K.O. Finished. Ethan-san daishouri~. Woops, too soon for that last one." Rider could only grit her teeth in frustration with a flush on her face. "Now… how should I end this?"

* * *

Mash and Lily were panting, with scratches, bruises and cuts over their bodies. "I have to help them!" Ritsuka said, but was stopped by the Director.

"Stop there! If you go, you're only going to get killed. If you are their Master, then act like one!" Olga spoke authoritatively, but truth be told, she was as worry as her fellow Master.

"It had been a good fight you two put, but this is the end." The black knight talked to her enemies. "You two are still too green, even with that shield and that sword." She lifted her dark sword over her shoulder. "Now, cry out. It is time to fall to the ground." A burst of dark prana covered the sword.

Everyone was breathless. This was game over for them.

Black saber tightened her grip ready to unleash her Noble Phantasm once more but something stopped her. A sound, a high-pitched noise that was getting louder and louder, making everyone look around.

" **yeee** **eee** **eeeeaaaaaaaaaahhhhh BOOOOOOOOYYYYYYY**!" A silhouette passed both Master at extremely high speed, making a gust of wind follow it up. " **YEET!** " With that, the silhouette clashed into the dark Artoria, making a big and loud explosion.

Everyone was perplexed because they didn't have a single clue of what had just happened.

From the cloud of dust and smoke, a body flew away. It was Artoria with some scratches and a furious face.

When the cloud dissipated, it revealed Berserker with his humongous sword on his shoulder and the demon mask on his face. "Tadaima~!" All the girls except for their enemy got a smile on their faces.

"You're late!" Ritsuka and Olga immediately yelled at him, with tears in their eyes.

"That is not the answer." He replied.

"Okaeri! Are you happy now?!" The red haired Master had a mix feeling of happiness and annoyance with his presence.

He pulled up his mask and smile. "A lot. *Smooch* *Smooch*" He blew kisses at them, which made a little blush appeared on their face even if they were frowning.

"You insolent." The corrupted Saber finally spoke. "Who in their right mind get in the way of a Noble phantasm?" She was outraged.

"Right mind? This is a normal day on the life of a Berserker class." Ethan put again his mask back on. "And I ask of you… … … are you my Master? Wait, wrong line. Let me see the script real quick… … Okay, got it… Who in their right mind would let their enemy use their stronger move so easily?" The eyes of the enemy Artoria moved slowly at the two girl-knights behind Ethan. Ethan's head turn slowly at the girls. "Really?" Both got embarrassed and tried to avert their eyes.

"Yes." A serious feminine voice came from Fujimaru. The seriousness of the situation was lost in the second that Ethan arrived there, so she decided to roll with it.

"No~" He replied seriously, incapable to believe her.

"I saw it with my own eyes." She pointed at her amber orbs.

"I still can't believe you." He denied withhis head. But preventing this situation to go any further, he launched himself again, quickly. " **YEET!** " Another explosion occurred where the black Saber was. When the dust dissipated again, Berserker spoke. "I'm telling you this now. As long as I'm here, you ain't firing that crap." He sighed. Even if it was a clash of NPs, his was weaker. so it was him whom receiving more damage from those explosions. "You're literally like a humanoid bazooka, but a bazooka that can't shoot is just a big and fancy pipe."

"How do you know about my Noble Phantasm?" She asked.

"Are you blind? Or are you just that dumb?" He said pointing with his thumb at the knight of the white flower (Not d'Eon but Lily). She had told them everything about herself to give them any advantage.

"You insolent disrespectful!" She took her stance, ready to battle. "I don't need my stronger move to give a lesson to… someone like you." She launched herself and swung her sword vertically.

Taking his own sword by the blade with his other hand Ethan stopped Artoria's unholy sword. "You know you wanted to say 'Peasant'. Come on, don't deny it. It's okay." Ethan smiled behind his mask. Her fury boiled even more.

With a burst of prana, both Servants separated from one another. Berserker dematerialized his sword, making her grit her teeth for his overconfidence. She jumped on his direction to end this quickly.

His empty right hand swung upward, and in the middle of the swing his sword reappeared. What his enemy barely managed to block, making her body fly away. Before his swing was over, his sword disappeared once more.

He has been thinking about how to use his weapon all this time, and this was the best he could come up with. Materializing it on a swing and dematerializing it before it mess up with his balance. His coordination and concentration would have to be on point for him to survive a real fight; and even then, there was no guarantee of victory for its inefficiency, but it was better than nothing.

This time Berserker took the initiative. Getting close to his opponent, he struck vertically with his right; it got parried, but his sword wasn't in that hand anymore. Artoria disposed to strike back with a thrust, but the sudden swing of her opponent's empty left hand upward held her up. His sword was now there, aiming for her face; and again, she barely blocked it, making her feet skidded backwards.

When she stared at him with a frown, she did not found such weapon, it was like an illusion, and the worst part, it was impossible to know in which hand it was going to appear now. What a troublesome opponent.

He dashed in her direction. When he got close, he started to swing both hand horizontally like a scissor closing its blades. " _In which one?!_ " Artoria questioned herself hurriedly. She moved her weapon at her right. It made a clang sound. She guessed correctly.

Following the repel force, he supported his left hand on the ground and swung his right leg, but his opponent jumped away.

She heard a 'tlick' coming from inside his mask. " _His body as well?_ " She was getting more frustrated.

Berserker straightened and took a couple of loudly breaths. He began to bounce like a boxer that just finished warming up, filling the magic circuits on his legs. His last bounce was higher, when he touched the ground he instantly disappeared.

The corrupted Artoria felt bloodlust behind her and immediately turned her sword body to face him. Berserker was already swinging his right hand downwards. She griped her sword and moved it to counter his. But then, her sword passed his hand, finding only air. His left hand was already midway of its thrust. " _A bait?!_ " She moved her body and arched her back to barely dodge it, making the sword scrape her breastplate. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted his right fist already swinging a hook. She was force to duck, but that wasn't the end; his left leg swung upward, she was only able to block it with her gauntlets, but the force of the blow was enough to send her flying away again.

The other four girls, now reunited, were stunned. During their fight they didn't even come close to pose a threat to their opponent, even if they focused in making time for the others to arrive. They weren't expecting this, and less from Ethan to dominate the battle from the beginning.

Saber alter landed on her feet, then nailed her unholy sword in the ground to start to shake off the cramp of her hands while looking at her enemy regaining his breath, resting his left hand on the ground.

She had never met someone with so impractical form of combat, but it was only matter of time for her to catch up, and she knew her opponent knew it as well, or he wouldn't be so desperate.

Berserker began to run in her direction. She took her sword and prepared herself.

He thrusted both of his hands. She had to guess it again. " _His right_." *CLANG* She parried it. But then his left hand opened, throwing dirt at her eyes and blinding her; it was then it came to her mind: he faked being tired just to grab that. "Too bad you don't have a weird piece of armor covering your eyes, eh?" His voice came from in front of her, but she moved her sword behind her head. *CLANG* "Oh! Come on! How did you know?!" He jumped away to make distance.

"Hm *Smile* My instincts are sharp." She cleaned her eyes and opened them.

"Too bad this isn't the fucking game." Ethan muttered. He stood straight and waved his hand in signal for her to come.

"Do not struggle." Saber told and launched herself. Ethan moved his right hand to defend himself, was deflected; he swung his left, deflected again. She had already adapted to his style, and now he was exposed.

She thrusted her unholy sword aiming at his heart; it pierced it right through it.

His mask disappeared from his face as he gave a dry cough. "You were no match for me from the beginning." Artoria said with a pleased smile, her sword was still in his heart.

"And you thought I didn't know that already?" His perfectly normal voice erased her expression. "By the way, you missed me." Ethan said with a stupid smirk.

"What?!" She was dumbfounded, she looked at her sword and it was clearly perforating his chest, how did she miss?

"No, no, no. You're not looking hard enough." His words made no sense to her. "Look closely." Her instincts were focusing on him, but he showed no intention of threatening her, so she narrowed her eyes and moved closely.

"It _IS_ in your heart!" She declared.

"See, this is why I called you blind." He shrugged with a sigh of disappointment.

"What is what I'm supposed to see?!" She was getting angrier.

"I don't know. Just see whatever you want, except what you're supposed to." His words just confused her more and more.

Suddenly, a bash knocked her away. When she looked at what hit her, she found the girl with the shield next to Berserker. "Nice saved, Mash. What was the name of the skill again?" He said, spinning his right hand to make his shoulder crack, without taking his eyes off Saber.

"No. Thanks to you for making time, Pierce-senpai. And If I recall correctly, 'Obscurant Wall of Chalk' I believe." Kyrielight was full recovered by her Master's mystic code, and her eyes showed a confidence they didn't show before.

"Too complicate, I'll call it 'OWC' or 'Invi' for invincibility." Saber had a lot of questions in her head. Why didn't her instinct alert her? Why that girl had confidence in herself now? Was it because of him? "You're going to burn your head~" the words of Berserker brought her back to reality, how did he know? "Your expression gave you away." Again? "So… Shall we go now?"

"Yes." The purple haired girl answered.

They both started running in Saber's direction. Berserker took the lead and swung downwards; his sword was already materialized and held it with both hands. Artoria could only stop it but not repel it because of its force. From behind him a shield appeared and bashed her again, causing her to retreat.

Her instincts kicked in, causing her to turned around, swinging her sword to face Berserker that was there now. A smile appeared in his face as he took a step back, even knowing that wouldn't take him out of reach. The big shield appeared once again out of the corner of her eye, getting in the way just in time to repel the unholy sword. Artoria could spot an amethyst colored eye behind that shield, wide open, as if not wanting to lose any of her movements.

From the left side of the shield she saw the gigantic sword coming for her head, she wouldn't be able to blocked, so she decided to retreat, jumping away.

This became five times more difficult than before. How could they be so synchronized with each other? It was then, that her keen ears caught a sound. "Next time we'll get her." Saber's eyes went to both Masters at the distance, then she realized. Telepathic communication between a Servant and their Master, they were informing of everything to their Servants.

"Don't even think about it. If you go after them, I'll have your back before you could even reach them." The voice of Berserker brought her back. His legs were already filled with prana, ready to catch her. He wasn't joking. "Okay, let's try that. I'm in." He stopped hiding their communication and started straight talking about it.

Berserker positioned himself in front of Shielder with a smirk in his face. " _What is it now?_ " Saber Alter asked herself.

Berserker jumped, crouching in the air. A bash from the shield against his feet, shoot him like a bullet. Both swords clashed with each other, but the force of the thrown Servant began to push the corrupted Artoria backwards. "Ready to bleed?!" His words confused her until she felt a sharp pulse of pain on the right side of her waist. When she looked, she saw her younger self coming from behind her, tearing her flesh with a single strike while bypassing her trajectory.

Ethan stopped pushing his opponent and jumped backward to made terrain in between.

"Good job, Lily, Pierce-senpai too." The girl of the shield complimented her partners while approaching them.

"No, the credit is for our Masters, doing a splendid job." Lily replied with a smile.

Saber Alter touched her wound, it was deep. She wasn't expecting two attacks at the same time. "This is not a stupid mobile game for losers where we are going to attack in turns and then let you attack us back! What stupid way of fighting is that?!" Berserker's voice drew her attention. Did her face give away her thoughts again?

"What is with the oddly specific comparison?" Ritsuka asked with narrowed eyes, really confused.

"I don't have idea." Olga answered, shaking her head equally confused.

"Huh?" Fujimaru's face change in surprise; then a smile appeared on it.

"Huh? - Pierce-senpai." Kyrielight called his last name. "It's done."

"Finally, *SIGH* Well, we better end with this then." Both girl-knights nodded in agreement. "I pick the ass side!" Ethan shouted taking a big leap. Both girls looked at each other and sighed in disapproval of his language.

The corrupted Artoria watched him land twenty meter behind her, and the other two girls took their places; the three making the tips of a triangle around her. "It's bukkake time." Everyone looked at Ethan with confused faces.

"E~w! Gross!" Ritsuka yelled.

"Haha~" He pointed at her. "How do you know what that is, naughty Master?" The red haired girl covered her mouth with a blush on her face. "Well, whatever, let's get this over with." The three Servants took their stances.

They launched themselves at the same time. "Too fragile!" An immense amount of dark mana burst out around the Dark-Tainted Tyrant, overwhelming her opponents preventing them from getting any closer. That shield was a nuisance. "It'll be trampled."

Ethan saw how his enemy was approaching his defenseless self-proclaimed kōhai. His legs burned with the same amount prana as the one display before him a second ago. The ground beneath him exploded as he launched his body.

He extended his right hand with his sword in it to try to stop the enemy's.

It may have been a miscalculation on his part or maybe it was his bad luck. " _No, it definitely was my bad luck._ " Okay, it was his bad luck. The thing is, he surpassed the distance and now was his shoulder what was in the way of the unholy sword.

His whole right arm was sent flying. Both Master covered their mouth in horror.

Berserker changed his trajectory and hugged Mash with his remaining hand, jumping away to make distances. "LILY! USE YOUR SOMEWHAT SUGOI BEAM!" He gave an apparently desperate shout even if he was chuckling at the end of it.

" **Sword of selection, by your power! Cleave the wicked!... Caliburn!** " A radiant beam was shot from the tip of the sword.

Artoria Alter with her dark prana covered sword stopped the Noble Phantasm.

"Tha-that thing was aiming at her crotch." Ethan commented as he lay in the ground with Mash on his chest. "Does that sword consider the crotch as the most wicked part in the body?" He had a lot of questions.

The Noble Phantasm was stopped but not released, keeping the black Saber in place. "This is not going to stop me forever!" She declared.

"Good! A moment is all I need!" She saw the only Servant who escaped her corruption, appearing behind her younger self. " **Burn up, tree giant… Wickerman!** " A giant's hand appeared beneath her, grabbing her body. The wicker giant now completely materialized, put her inside its flaming belly to finally let itself fall to the ground, creating a big explosion of fire.

When the flame disappeared, Saber Alter stood there, looking at his opponents. "I see, so it's my defeat. *Smile* Ultimately, no matter how fate changes, I face the same end when I'm alone." A golden mist started to cover her. "The battle for the Holy Grail has just begun… Grand Order." She finally disappeared, leaving behind an amber crystal.

Everyone was uneasy about her last words, especially Olga. "Wow! Unprecise spoilers at the end just to appear interesting, she sure was a character!" Ethan interruption made everyone let out a sigh.

"Hey, Mash." She paid attention to Ethan. "Don't want to be a bother but your armor just let me feel your tummy and is great, but…"

"Awah!" She jumped with her face burning. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." She bowed repeatedly.

"Don't worry. It was my fault after all, and was a nice sensation." Ethan replied casually with a calm smile, making her face burn even more. "Can you do me a favor?"

"Eh? A-ah, yes, what is it?" Kyrielight calmed herself a little.

"Can you go and _hand_ me my right hand?" His mouth was open in a stupid smile, waiting for her reaction.

"That's not funny, Pierce-senpai!" She rebuked his joke with a frown, as she walked in the direction of the missing arm.

When she picked it up, she noticed something. There was no blood. She looked at Ethan's severed shoulder, but there wasn't blood either.

She went back with him and gave him his arm. "Thanks." He grabbed it. "Give me a high five." He lifted his cut right arm.

"Stop it!" She yelled at him.

"Come on, it's just a limb. *Sigh* Whatever." He connected it with his shoulder.

"Why aren't you bleeding?" She asked out of curiosity.

"Ah, you notice it. *Smile* I used my prana a millisecond before the cut to stop the blood circulation. Smart, don't you think?" She nodded. "And now I use it to keep my arm in place while I drink this." He took his gourd in the other hand.

"Doesn't hurt?"

"Well, let's say I'm good with pain." He answered. Her attentive look made him somewhat uncomfortable. "You should go with Ritsuka, she has to be worried about you."

"Oh, yes." She began to jog in the direction of her Master. Ethan watched her go and then focused on the group of people in her direction. He saw them talking about the current event. He noticed that Cu turned his head in his direction. Caster gave him a thumps up while disappearing in a golden mist.

The crystal left behind for Saber began to float up on the direction of the hill.

The sound of claps echoed in the cave. "My, I didn't expect you'd get this far." A man voice echoed. "Master Candidate #48. It was my mistake to naively overlook you as an improbable child." A man in green suit showed himself on top of a hill.

"Profesor Lev?" Mash asked.

"What?! Lev is there?!" Dr. Romani voice could be heard.

"Is that Romani I hear? So, you survived as well." His eyes open and an evil grin appeared in his face. "I told you to come immediately to the command room. Honestly— Thrash who can even follow order. It makes me want to throw up. Why is it that humans always try to avoid their preordained destinies?"

"Lev…Oh, Lev! Lev! You're alive!" Olga said, unable to believe it. "Thank goodness! Without you, I don't know how I could protect Chaldea!" She began to run in his direction.

"Director don't!—" Mash tried to stopped her.

"DON'T GET CLOSE!" Ethan's shout scared Ritsuka, Mash, Lily and Fuo, but Olga completely ignored him. Seeing that he started to drink all he could extract from his gourd like if his life depended of it.

Olga was telling everything she had experienced until now to the Professor while running.

"Yes, of course. Honestly, all this complications have irritated me." Lev spoke. "And the biggest complication is you, Olga. I set the bomb right under your feet, yet you're still alive and all because of that idiot." He referred to Ethan.

"—What?!" Olga stopped.

"*Grin* But it was useless. You had no aptitude to Rayshift with a physical body. So, what do you think it happened?" Olga's eyes widen in realization. "That's right. Your body was teared apart, giving you the aptitude when you died." Cold sweat pass Olga's forehead. "You can't return to Chaldea. The moment you do you will vanish."

"I can't… go back?" The Director asked, dumbfounded.

"Indeed. But that's too sad of a story for you." He closed his eyes again. "Let me show you the fate of the Chaldea that you devoted your entire life to." He opened a portal behind him.

"Chaldeas… is bright red?" Olga couldn't believe it.

"It's real. The power of the grail allows me to do so." He referred to the floating crystal on his right hand. "Now behold, descendant of the Animusphere! Behold your folly!" He laughed. "Humanity is burning, bright, red. Isn't it wonderful, Marie? Once again, your incompetence has brought forth tragedy!"

"No, I'm no responsible! I didn't fail! I'm not dead!" Olga denied.

"What annoying girl you are." Lev said with an annoying face.

"Wha… my body— Something's pulling—"

"I could kill you now, but there's no grace to that. I will grant you your final wish, instead." He moved his hand, lifting Olga's body. "Go ahead and lay hands on your treasure. Think of it as benevolence on my part"

"My treasure… You mean Chaldeas?"

"Yes, it's no different from a black hold or perhaps a sun. Well, ether way. A human touching it would be a hellish disintegration on a molecular level. By all means, have a state of infinite living death!" He moved his hand to lead her body at the incandescent object.

"No— Someone help me! I don't want to die here!" Her eyes started to overwhelm with tears. "Because I've never been praised… I've never been praised by anyone! No! Stop! NOOO!" A green flash got to her just before she crossed the portal, and took her body away from there, landing in the middle of the cave.

She was being carried by her Servant in a princess-like position. Berserker's body glowed green with the prana overflow, his entire body trembled with sparks here and there, his long mane was lifted in the air, refusing to fall. She looked at his face but it was covered once again for that demon mask; some strong breaths could be heard from inside. "Pi…erce?" She called him.

"███████████████▅▅▅▅▅▅▅!" The loudest roar everyone had ever heard, came from Berserker; making the whole cave quake. Everyone had to cover their ear to not go deaf, but that wasn't all. In middle of the roar the green sparks began to grow, becoming blue and destroying the ground around him; until finally, every spark converged in his body making a huge lightning that crashed against the top of the cave and finally piercing through it to reach the dark sky.

Olga was surprisingly fine, but the rage of her Servant didn't look like it was going to reach a limit. " **For power of my command spell I order you Berserker to calm down!** " The red light of her command spell was almost swallowed by the lightning. But a second later the same lightning began to cease like his roar.

His legs faltered, falling sat on the ground with his Master still on his arms.

"Good grief, what a troublesome boy." Lev murmured.

"Pierce? Are you okay?" Olga took off his mask.

"Pika Pi, Pika~chu." Ethan said almost without strength, closing his eyes and smiling at her, putting a smile in her face. He was back. Well, almost back, due to the tear that came out of his right eye.

"Woah!" Olga's cheeks burned from the sudden hug she received.

"Nice job enduring it, Olga." His words took her by surprise. "Forget what that poor attempt of villain said, you're the best Director that Chaldea could ever ask for, and the best Master I could ever have." Now the tears were in her eyes.

"Idiot…*HICCUP* I wasn't asking for compliments *SNIFF*" She said on a futile attempt to not be overwhelmed by emotions and stop crying.

"Yeah, yeah. There, there." He patted the back of her head. "By the way… you do remember what I said I was going to do if you ever called me Berserker again, right?" She flinched in his arms, her cry stopped immediately. "I'm going to overlook it this time." He felt how her posture relaxed, making him chuckle.

"Well, aren't you some troublesome individual, eh?" The professor talked. Everyone stared at him. "Let me reintroduce myself. My name is Lev Lainur Flauros… …In charge of the year 20XX sent to dispose of you humans."

"You want a reward for that or what?!" The voice of the male Servant meddled. His eyes said he wasn't impressed. The drama of the moment was lost.

Flauros cleared his throat, deciding to ignore him. "Are you listening Dr. Romani? As a friend who studied magecraft with you, let me give you some finale advice." His grin reappeared. "Chaldea is finished. You humans have reached the moment of your destruction."

"Wow! Spooky! Edgy but spooky!" Ethan's voice sounded in the background, making Flauros face twitch a little.

"…Professor Lev… No. Lev Lainur." Romani talked. "What do you mean? Is it related to being unable to see 20XX?"

"It isn't 'related.' It's the reality that this is the end. The future didn't disappear. It was incinerated. Your end is certain. Your era no longer exist."

"Can you get to the point?!" Lev's shoulder flinched hearing that.

"Chaldeas' magnetic field may be protecting Chaldea, but any outside of it will face the same fate as Fuyuki City."

"Noooo! McDonald's!" All Ethan's allies slapped their head. "Wait… … NOOOOOO!" This time it was a true worried cry. "My internet! My porn! My… MY MEMES!" He started to cry tear of sadness. "Okay, I'm fine now. I just have to make my own from now on." He didn't specify which one. "You can continue now."

Everyone question themselves if he was on his right mind worrying about that, on a matter of world destruction.

"…So, that was it." Romany realized. "We didn't lose contact with the outside world due to interference; we simple lost the outside world itself."

"No shit, Captain obvious!" Berserker yelled.

"Okay! Stop! Dr. Roman is in our side, dumbass!" Ritsuka lost her shit.

"Oh right… I forgot." He began to feel threatened by all the people in the cave.

"Anyway… Any resistance is futile." Lev tried to recover himself. "If the time within Chaldea passes 20XX it will be wipe form the universe. No one can change the outcome now."

"Are you _completely_ sure about that?" Ethan questioned.

"YES, I'M SURE! NOW SHUT UP!" Flauros was almost on his limit. "All of you will die like a bunch of worthless scrap of paper; you'll be burned away without a trace!" Everyone widen their eyes in fear due to his words

"Shut the fuck up, man! You already are a joke of a villain don't make me mop the ground with your evil pride." Ethan warned him with a grin in his face.

"You're just another pesky mistake." Lev replied with an annoying look. "It never passed through my mind that you'll become something as a Servant, even worst, a Servant of that useless girl. What a really annoying mistake you are, Ethan Pierce… Or should I call you 'Daiga Fujimura'?" It was time for his revenge, Lev thought.

All Ethan's partners looked at him. Ethan Pierce wasn't his real name?

"Haaannngggg!" Ethan made an 'X' with his hands. "Wrong! Incorrect, sir! If you're going for my true name I'm already telling you, that's not it." Lev's right eye twitched a little. "You've lost one life, you got four more. Want to try again?" The four girls had their mouths hanging.

"Th-then, 'Kei Kotomine'." Lev said unsure.

"Oh yeah, It had been a while since I heard that one. But, Haaaannngggg! Wrong again! Please try again!" Lev face started to turn angry. "Just because you pity me I tell you what. Pick one option: Ask the audience." Ethan showed the girls. "Call a friend. Or 50/50. What would be your chose in the show of 'Who Wants to Be a Typical Villain'?!" The dumbfounded faces of the girls just grew more.

"Then… 50/50." Lev said, dubiously.

" _He is following the game!_ " The four girls shouted in their heads.

"Very well." Ethan raised his hands and tossed his wrists, dropping long rolls of paper.

"What's that?" The professor asked.

"Two list of names. I'm sure the real one is in one of them." Olga saw how the rolls continuing rolling for some meters on the ground. "I'll start with the left one, okay?" Ethan cleared his throat. 'Fuck you.' 'Kill yourself.' 'Suck my ass.' 'Asshole.'" Fujimaru and Lily looked at each other. "'My name is jeff.' 'xXxLordOfTheFuckYouxXx777' wow my Minecraft name, I thought I lost it. Oh sorry, let me continue. 'Kid' 'Boy' 'The kid with the pointy knife' 'El Brayan' 'My bitch'—"

"What is that? Those are no names." Lev interrupted him.

"Well, every time someone calls me something is added it to the list as an official name." The worst part was that Lev couldn't tell if it was a lie for the confidence on Berserker's face. "I'll continue then. 'Easy rape' 'Easy money' 'Shonen'—"

"Stop making fun of me!" Losing his patience, Lev fired a red beam from his index finger. But it was deflected by Ethan sword.

"I said I was going to mop the ground with your pride, right?" A smirk was in his face.

"Hm, to think I was said to offer you to come with us." Lev said.

"Pff ahahahahahahahahaha." Ethan broke in laughter. "Oh wait you were serious. Let me laugh even harder. Ahahahahahahahaha*Cough* *Cough* hahahahahahahahahaha!" His back fell down on the ground and then he began to smash his fist against it.

His Master was astonished, he wasn't stopping. " _Olgaaaaa!_ " He sounded in her head. " _Use the command spell or I'm seriously gonna die of laughter!_ " She couldn't believe it.

" **B-by my command spell I order you Pirce t-to stop laughing.** " She was embarrassed to waste one of those in an order like that.

"Haaaa~. Fucking hilarious." He swiped the tears in his eyes. "You really are a bad and fucking predictable villain. Learn one or two things from Palpatine, will you?" His allies already knew that there wasn't any way of stopping him now. "How about this… Your next line will be: ' _You're a bigger idiot than I thought'_."

"You're a bigger idiot than I thought. Huh?!"

"I'm done! Hahahahahaha!" Ethan broke in laughter again. "Oh jeez, you've now been officially ' _Jojo's referenciatus_.'" Ethan calmed down.

"First mistake, you don't go there telling your plan to evreyone. Information is crucial. Second, trying to kill a damsel is too cliché. Third, you don't leave people alive just because you miscalculate or because you don't consider them a threat. Fourth, that fucking looking ass clown outfit is horrendous and shouts 'Hey I'm the villain in disguise' change that shit. Fifth,"

"He is going to continue?" Ritsuka asked her Servants who had no idea.

"Those sharp ass teeth don't look scary, the ones that are asymmetrical and poorly cared are the ones you need, so go and see a dentist or even better, don't. Sixth, and most important," His eyes got sharp and threatening. "Don't make fun of the person that has already defeated you."

"What?" Lev asked confused.

"Wow, you haven't even noticed yet?"

The professor looked around and realized. "The Greater Grail." He frowned.

"Correct~ You got one. Here, have a lollipop." A red lollipop hit his green suit and fell on the ground.

"When…" Lev was pissed.

"You seriously didn't notice that Caster took way too fucking long to help us?" Ethan's grin was wider than the one Lev showed before. "Olga. Illuminate this poor little… _thing_."

His Master raised her hands in front of her and put a little of prana into it. A golden cup appeared, floating in between her hands. "See, you may have the one that was inside Artoria Alter, but we have the one she was guarding. And all of that was in the plan of my cute, intelligent and gorgeous Master." He hugged her tighter, making her blush. "You lost." His grin was almost out of his face. "Now, get your bitch ass out of my sight, unless you want to bury that pride that I just murdered cold blood."

With a grunt, Flauros created a portal with his Holy Grail to leave the place. "Before you go!" Ethan's voice stopped him. "Mark my fucking words." His eyes were serious. "Next time we meet, Olga is going to kick your ass."

"What?!" His Master raised her voice worriedly.

"Hahahahahaha. I liked that joke!" Lev replied.

"And I'm going to rape you." Everyone stared at Ethan with disgust. "Well, figuratively speaking of course." They let out a sigh. "Or am I talking literally?" He narrowed his eyes. "Meh, I'll figure it out when the time comes." Cold sweat ran down everyone's forehead.

Lev Lainur Flauros, left with a disgust face.

"Is he gone now?" Ethan asked.

"Y-yes" His Master answered nervously.

"Good. *BLAAARG*" He immediately started to throw up. Olga jumped away from him with a disgust face. "Haaaaa~ I thought he was going to kill us. We wouldn't have a chance against whatever that thing was."

"Then why did you say all that?" Olga reprimanded him.

"He made fun of you." A blush was put on Olga's face. "Agh. This fucking taste. Give me" He extended his hand to his master.

"What?"

"I know you have candies hiding in your pocket, my nose is really sensitive now. So give me" he moved his fingers.

Now the red on her face was due to embarrassment. She gave him some of hers M&Ms.

"You're fucking dumbass!" A kick buried his head in the ground.

"Seriously! What the fuck is with you and the kicks, Ritsuka!" Berserker yelled. But it was grabbed by the collar of his kimono.

"Don't scare us like that!" Her face was inches away from his. Ritsuka had a pout along with some tears on her eyes.

"You know this is only the beginning, right?"

"Say it!" She demanded.

"*Sigh* I'm sorry, mom."

"I'm not your mom!"

"Then, are you my girlfriend?"

"We are only friends!" She yelled with a blush.

"Jesus, the friendzone is real."

"Um, guys?" Romani's voice came from Ritsuka's bracelet. "What do we do now? The Director is…" Everyone got a long face.

"We use the cup."

"Hah?!" Everyone was dumbfounded.

"Holy fuck! My ears." Ethan covered them. "Just give me the cup, I'll make the wish."

"Why you?!" His Master questioned him.

"Because based on the magecraft I use. I'm the only one that can make it work properly. Now, give me, give me" With that logic, the artefact of immense power was given to the dumbest and crazy person of them all. They were already regretting it.

"Roman, prepare the Rayshift. Apparently when I'm done with the wish, the whole singularity is going to collapse." Ethan informed.

"On it." The doctor replied.

"How do you know?" Ritsuka asked.

"Is what the flow of prana around it is doing." Nobody understood him. "While Roman is on that… I wonder." He took out the cork of his gourd and started to pour the liquid into the golden cup.

"What are you doing?!" Olga asked, alarmed.

"Being the first person to drink from this baby. *Gulp* *Gulp*" He drank it. "Sh, what scam. It tastes the same. I want my money back!"

"Ethan, I'm ready." Romani informed.

"Okay, let's get this over with. Step back everyone, I'm doing my magic here, literally doing my magic." The girls went behind Mash's shield.

He closed his eyes and lit up his magic circuits. The Greater Grail began to float in the air higher and higher. With a golden and brave shine, the Grail took the form of giant golden sphere. "~While holding hop in my left hand, I kept on dreaming without awakening. Whit an empty memory in my right hand, I stood up at the end of the world no one knew, As I was beaten by the raining unstopped~."

"I never knew Pierce-senpai had a magic chant." Mash contemplated.

"Me neither." Olga replied, shaking her head.

"~I accepted it all and reach for tomorrow. BRAVE SHIN!~" The entire cave got illuminated with golden light. "I'm going to go blind with this…" He said as the light swallow him. "Start the fucking Rayshift or I'm going to lose my eyes!"

"Wah~ Yes!" A worriedly doctor replied.

* * *

The doors of the Command room opened for a worried peach-haired Doctor to cross it. He went to the center of the room. "Hey~! Guys! Are you okay!?"

Five people were sitting on blocks of debris. The only male stood up and raised his right hand with a golden cup in it. "Hey, Doctor! *THUD* *CLANG*" His right arm fell on the ground with the grail. "Ah, shit. I didn't drink enough."

* * *

 **A/N: How was it… maybe I went too far in some parts… aaaa the anxiety is devouring me.**

 **Active Skill (Reveled):**

 **Madness Continuation (A): A variant of Battle Continuation. It has been modified due to the influence of the vessel, to whom the death is only an acquaintance. It's because of this that he can think normally without fearing his demise to trick his opponent to lower their guard and aggression towards him.**

 **Now the juicy one.**

 **Passive Skill (Reveled):**

 **Madness Enhancement (EX): Also known as "Shifting Madness Enhancement" or "Emotional Madness Enhancement".**

 **The stats of this Servant are unreliable due to his ME that it's never the same as it was a second, minute or hour before. Both entities coexist within the vessel and are due to this skill that one or the other is in charge. It normally keeps itself at rank E pluses and minuses, without modifying the Servant stats and also the control is given to vessel. At rank D the vessel becomes quiet, amplifying his stats a little. At rank C the vessel begins to lose coherence, but it remains controllable, the raising of the parameters are appreciable. At rank B the vessel lose control of the body and is give it to the Servant, the entity of the vessel remains aware of his surroundings. (Side note: From here, it is needed an evolution of the saint grasp for the vessel to endure this stage, if not, it becomes defenseless against any threat). At rank A the vessel consciousness is wipe out, leaving just the Servant in control of it. The stats reach their maximum as it was shown before.**

 **Personal skill (Reveled):**

 **Magecraft: The knowledge of the vessel gives him the possibility to buff his stats through magecraft to be able to fight stronger enemies.**

 **Now things to clarify: The stats shown in the last chapter are from the Servant at rank A ME, in case you were wondering why with those stats he doesn't win a battle so easily (just lower them a rank for E ME). Second, his personal skill. Remember how Rin Tohsaka scape from Lancer the first time thanks to reinforcement? Now imaging that on a body that already has been buff by a Servant, that's how it works.**

 **Another thing about his ME, to put you in perspective, there is another Berserker that has something similar, Berserker of el Dorado, but is just that here, the "Achilles" are his emotions, easy to understand now?**

 **Other thing (Jesus is going to give a headache) The rank of the things. First, EX doesn't mean higher than A, it means it is out of the normal ranks, examples: Kiyohime – Her ME is EX but her stats are fucking low except for her NP. Berserker Dogo (Cu) – His ME is classified as EX(C) in the wiki. Also, the ME is always counted on the Servant stats, just go and look at both of the Lancelots' stats, the Berserker one are higher, right?**

 **Now I'm done, finally. I'm drained. I'll go now because I have to rush the Prima Illya like an Achilles that is chased down by a 100 of El Dorado. The next chapters are going to be fillers but with their good amount of memes, also, I started to play FGO 2 days before Saber wars ended so, if any one could give me the order of the other events, I would really appreciate it.**

 **Re-read you later… God, my ass hurt.**


	4. Ch 4 - A Fragile Broken Glass

**A/N: Hey, how you doing? I'm doing fine, but seriously. What the fuck is with my brain, every time I plan on writing certain amount of words, I end up with the double, well, is a good thing for you. Let's get this over with.**

 **Thanks to every new reader that found this fic of their liking. Now, with the reviews.**

 **To Oyshik, Lazymanjones96, The Rupture, Matze96 and Guest: Thanks for such kind words. *Makes a reverence***

 **To f1uffy5prinkles: First, thank you. Second, welp, the speculations begins, I see. Yes, those are the obvious. (Pls read the end of the note, I go into depth there) And don't worry; I'm not going discontinue this fic. (It looks that some got that idea from somewhere. ?)**

 **To flitterflux: Oh, don't worry, I already have plans for mah boy Edward.**

 **To Giuseppe: Spanish filter on/** **Gracias, me alegro de que te haya gustado tanto. También, parece que ibas a decir me la referencia que más te gusto pero como que la cortaste y me dejaste con la intriga. Y como ya dije antes, no tengo planeado en dejar el fic, tranquilo.** **(Saludos desde Col)** **/Spanish filter off.**

 **To Douchebag69: There are two reasons of why I can't answer. The first one is at the end of this A/N. The second, I might be a bad researcher or something, buuut, the word 'Sengū', the only thing I found was the ritual called 'Shikinen Sengū' a ritual done in the Ise Shrine to bring good luck to the imperial family, I believe?**

 **Now, the thing I said… I see that some are starting to speculate how the Servant is, thing that makes me really happy because it means it had caught your attention, but if I told you, it would ruin the surprise, so let's do this:**

 **First: You can still guess,** _ **BUT**_ **, I won't answer those reviews (I'll read them of course)**

 **Second: If someone manages to actual get the Servant, I'll give them a reward… How about… the person can tell me ideas or what they want for one or two chapter. Sounds good? I would talk this with the person through PM if such thing happened. (So, I recommend reviewing from an account, because for the guests would be impossible or I don't know, I'm new here.)**

 **Third: The rules, if you are going to try to guess. You** _ **have**_ **to present actual evidence of why do you thing is that character, referring to the things you've seen on chapters, if not the guess would be ignored. Why this? Because, I don't want people to give names randomly.**

 **Now that this is set, I'll give you a hint about the 'hints'. The good ones are really well hidden, you had probably been deceived by the comedy until this point, and even so, these ones are only going to be noticed by the people that know what are they looking for, so, which are hints and which are just content? This hint was pointless, hahahahaha, I'm evil.**

 **Also, like Nasu, I've taken the freedom to… well, not really change, but add more things to the story of the Servant, in case you were going to use his appearance as a thing. (And don't worry, I didn't add things that don't make sense, everything is interconnected)**

 ***Sigh* It maybe went to my head, but it was fun. You can ignore this completely if you only want to read.**

 **Now, into the actual chapter.**

* * *

 **A Fragile Broken Glass**

The doors of the central command room opened revealing a sleepy doctor with a mug of coffee in his right hand, the mug had the words 'Magi Mari' written on it.

Taking a sip from it, Romani entered the room.

It was the day after the disaster caused by Lev Lainur. Right after everyone got back and Ethan re-attached his arm to his body, making sure that it wasn't going to come off. Everyone decided to rest after so fatiguing event happened.

Both female Masters were the most drained and it was not because of the events or the physical performance, but for dealing with Ethan himself, so after they gave Lily a room to stay, everyone got to bed early.

Now it was 9 am and the Doctor decided to check everything on TRISMEGISTUS, the computer that serves as oversight in the implementation of Rayshift.

It maybe was due to being sleepy, but it wasn't until he got close to the computer that he noticed something… It was on, not only that, but someone was already sitting there, tapping the keyboard.

"Uh…?" Romani opened his eyes to see the person. "…Ethan?" it was the Director's male Servant, wearing his Servant outfit.

"Hm? Ah, Roman, What are you doing here so early in the morning? It's like 6 am." The young man asked with a smile when he saw who the newcomer was.

"Eh?" Pulling his glove a little, the doctor took a look at his watch. "Nope, it's 9:07 am." If he wasn't so sleepy, he would be alarmed to find the young man there.

Ethan looked at the clock at the bottom right of the monitor. "Damn."

With another sip of his coffee, Romani finally woke up completely. "Wait… How did you get in here? The door was blocked by a numeric code and even if you solved it, it is needed a card that only the staff members have."

"Haha, I found out how to go into astral form and with that, the meaning of privacy is violated." Ethan showed him by only disappearing his left arm. "It feels weird but is really convenient."

"Wait…" Archaman got alarmed. "You haven't spied the girls in underwear, have you?!"

"Seeing how that is the first thing that comes to your mind, says more about you than about me, you know that, right?" The doctor that was taking another sip of his coffee, coughed it up. "And no, I haven't. That would be too easy. My plan consists in making them show me willingly in due time." Ethan got back to the pc. A blush sprouted on Romani's cheeks, understanding what that sentence was implying.

Romani coughed in his hand to swipe those thoughts away. "So… from how long have you been here?"

"I couldn't sleep, so…" The doctor noticed the red eyes along eyebags on Ethan's face. "Around 12, I think."

"Why you couldn't sleep?" Romani asked with concern.

"I really don't want to think about it." Ethan continued doing whatever he was doing on the computer. Roman noticed that he didn't want to go into details.

"And how did you stay awake until now?"

"By the almighty power of caffeine." Ethan raised his right hand and showed a cordon with brown liquid that went from his wrist to a transfusion bag hanging at his side.

"Waaah! That's dangerous!" The doctor raised his voice in alarm, seeing how the young boy was injecting coffee into his circulatory system.

"Gotcha. Hahahahaha." Ethan pulled out the needle, it wasn't connected to him. Then, he put the needle in his mouth.

"*Sigh* Don't scared me like that." Roman put his left hand on his chest to stop his heart running. "Then… what were you doing here?"

"Well… my tutor." The image of a priest came to his mind. "He taught me that information is half of the war." Romani got confused with that terminology. War? "So I decided to learn about the people with whom we have met. Learn about their history. I already read all about Cu Chulain, the child of light. Heracles, the immortal Great Hero. Arthur Pendragon or in this case Artoria, The king of knights of the holy sword. Musashibō Benkei, Hitachibou Kaison. Medusa, The female monster of Gorgon."

" _When did we encounter Medusa?_ " Romani asked himself.

"Assassin and Archer… I didn't know their names so I searched them for fiscal traits. Assassin belongs to the Hassan-i-sabah, a guild of assassins, and the one in particular that we fought… …that they fought, was Cursed Arm Hassan, one of the nineteen people to hold the legendary title of 'Old man of the mountain'."

Romani was astonished. The girls told him that Ethan was a joke himself and never took anything seriously and he experienced that himself just moments ago, but now, in front of him was a cold and calculating person, his eyes, which were looking at the monitor, were sharp, he was somewhat… frightening, making cold sweat ran the doctor's forehead.

"Archer… well… I didn't get luck with him. The ones that appeared were: Arash, a legendary great hero from Ancient Persia. And Arjuna, the Endowed Hero. But neither of them has white hair nor even shoot fucking swords from their bows."

" _That Archer shot swords? When did he saw that?_ " More questions appeared in Romani's head.

"That man is a fucking legend or is someone really stupid, or maybe both." Ethan made a pause and grabbed the bridge of his nose, he was clearly tired. "I also wanted to check something… personal."

"Did you get lucky with that?"

"No…" Ethan sighed in disappointment. "You see… when we were in the singularity, Olga was explaining everything to Ritsuka on our way to the church." Romani nodded, remembering said fact. "When we got to the grail war… Olga said that Saber won it…"

"Yes, I remember that." The doctor replied.

"Well, I remember something different." That caught Roman curiosity. "I was told that the one who won the war was…" Romani took a sip of his coffee. "Caster." The doctor immediately spat out. Ethan ignored his reaction, he was too tired. "But in this fucking pc, there is nothing about the war. No Masters, no Servants, no judge, no nothing."

"W-well, there is nothing we can do about it." Romani said, nervous. "Did you find anything else?"

"*Sigh* About Lev Lainur…"

Those three words caught Romani's attention.

"The thing looks really grim… his last name… Flauros." Romani gulped his saliva. "Flavros, Hauras, Haures, Havres, whatever you want to call it." Ethan sounded irritated. "… Is one of the seventy two Demon-gods from the Ars Goetia. A formidable foe, and by judging the prana that that thing was exuding, this is the most plausible possibility…" He stopped and put his left hand over his right to stop shaking. " _Thank goodness, I already took measures for that thing… I can't wait to meet him again._ " With those thought, a sadistic smile appeared on his face, the shake wasn't of fear but excitement.

"This doesn't look good." Romani denoted with a grim face.

"*Sigh* No, it doesn't." Ethan moved his hands behind his head to stretch his body. "If we only had that fucking ring, everything would be a piece of cake." Cold sweat ran Romani's head. "Sorry, I'm just babbling around, don't pay me attention." They stood in silence for some time. "On the other hand, I found something really interesting." Ethan's mood gave a 180° turn, now with a big grin in his face.

"Uh? And what is it?" Romani asked innocently with a smile and a tilted head.

Ethan's head slowly turned to the doctor to give drama to the situation. "Your porn~" Romani's mouth opened while his eyes grew and a blush appeared on his face, if he wasn't awake then now he was. "You certainly are a man who lives to the limit, having your porn here, were everyone can look. You're a madman." Romani was out of words. "And by the way, I'm not talking about that porn; I'm talking about the porn that is hided inside the first file, in other words, the true porn of Romani Archaman."

"You-you- you're bluffing." The red on Roman's face was brighter than ever. "You need a password for that."

"And 'Romance' is certainly not a good one."

"Kyaaaaaa~!" He grabbed his head, letting his mug fall from his hand, crashing against the floor and shattering. "Nooooo! My limited edition mug of Magi Mari!" Roman fell on his knees. "*Sniff* is ruined. *Sniff*" A single tear came from his right eye.

"I have to say…" Ethan's voice drew Romani attention. "You have really good taste. You have the besto genre, vanilla along with big breast, dark skin, and some unique ones like harem and jewelry, I didn't know that last one was a genre but you can never overestimate the internet, and the last one is the best, the cream of the crop… Animal ears, the majority had horns on it." Romani was astonished and that was an understatement. "You know, my old man told me once…" Ethan grabbed his chin with closed eyes, remembering an old man with a scary face, green kimono and a tiger like-jacket over it. "You can only know a person by the content of their porn. You Romani… you are an average person, you have big ambition, and like _spicy_ things at some degree, and want to fulfill every man dream while becoming friend with everyone, but also know what he wants, and last but not least, you're not what can be seen at first glance and can give everyone a big surprise." Ethan took a look of Roman whose soul was escaping from his body. "Oh, and don't worry, I made a security copy in case someone find this." He showed the doctor a red pen drive hanging on his neck.

Archaman didn't know if he was almost dead due to someone finding his secret or that said person psychoanalyzed him with that. He had to do something or he seriously was going to die out of embarrassment. "Okay Ethan you have to go now, you have to go to sleep or something." The doctor got close and began to pull his partner from his hand.

"Oh, okay Doc." Ethan stood up, and began to walk to the exit. "Next time I'll show you mine instead."

That made the doctor blush while pushing his back. "Okay, okay, just go now." Romani stopped pushing him and went back to the computer.

When Romani was about to sit down, he heard something heavy falling on the floor behind him. When Roman turned his head, he found Ethan kneeling on the floor, holding his weight with both forearms resting on the floor. "Ethan!" Romani shouted worriedly as he ran on the young boy's direction.

The doctor fell on his knees, sliding a little to get to his friend. He turned the boy's body to look at him. Ethan's face was red and some heavy breaths came out of his mouth. The doctor lifted the fringe of his forehead and Ethan's forehead and then connected them. "You're burning." The doctor gritted his teeth, how didn't he notice it before? He is the head medic for god's sake.

A soft bump on his head stopped his self-criticism, it was Ethan's hand.

"I'm fine, Doc. It's just a fever." He was eyes close with a bitter smile, while sweat ran his head. It tightened Romani's heart seeing him like that. "A rest and I'll be like new."

Romani clenched his hand. "Okay… But I don't want this to happen again, did you hear me?!" Roman wasn't himself, he was angry.

Ethan just nodded but it was almost like he was falling asleep.

"I want to hear it!" Romani shook the boy's body. He wasn't responding. The Doctor gritted his teeth once more; he was going to shout the boy's name.

"Daiga!" Ethan's eyes shut wide open, hearing that name being pronounced by a female voice. He raised his head slowly and there in front of him she was. A woman with short hazelnut hair, wearing a yellow shirt with dark green stripes and a green jacket over it, and blue short jeans. She was the reason why he didn't want to sleep. "I don't want to see you like this, please." His eyes narrowed to deny the tears that were forming there; he gritted his teeth to the extreme on a futile attempt to swallow the lump in his throat.

His hands went to his head, covering each eye and then they clutched, tighter and tighter. "Again…" his words came out of his mouth like whispers, as tears ran down his cheeks. "They were taken away from me…" Ethan whimpered and whined, while the figure of his old man appeared behind the woman along with other people. "And, again…" A crimson liquid came down from his forehead; he was harming himself out of frustration. "I couldn't do anything to save them…" Green sparks started to appear on his body as his magic circuits lit up.

"Wha! Ethan! Your circuits, your circuits!" Romani stepped back in alarm. They promptly faded away.

"Sorry for that, Doc." Ethan apologized.

"You're bleeding…" Romani remarked.

"Nothing that my sake can't heal" He smiled, seeing the worried doctor. "Hey, Roman, can you do me a favor?"

"I'm won't tell anyone, okay?" Romani assumed.

"Oh no, I already counting with that, or I would be pushed to tell everyone about your porn." Archaman flinched. "What I want is… Can you hand me that bowl with cut onions?" He pointed to a desk.

When Romani looked, he in fact found a bowl with cut onion on a desk. He went for them and gave it to the now stood up Ethan.

"Thanks *Sniff*" Tears began to ran down Ethan's cheeks as he head out the room. "Why the fuck I thought it was a good idea to bring them with me?" He wondered out loud while the doors closed behind him.

Romani was left there with a poker face. Was he crying for the loss of someone or for the onions? And where did the onions came from? Then he realized something. "Ah— Wait, Ethan, is better if I give you a medical examination!" He ran behind the young boy, leaving the command room empty again.

* * *

"So… what are we doing here again?" Olga asked irritated. She was with Ritsuka, Mash and Lily in front of the door of Ethan's room.

Everyone already knew about the Grand Order and the seven singularities, this information was provided by Dr. Romani and the Director Olga Marie, the only one that wasn't present there was Ethan.

Romani told them that the young boy wasn't feeling well and that he would appreciate if they went to check on him. He said that a great barrier prevented him to do it himself, and that if he crossed it, the consequences would be astronomical. (For him)

"Well, well. We can use this opportunity to know him better and provide the information that was given to us… maybe?" the young king of Britain rationalized.

"But this 'Barrier' that Roman told us…" Ritsuka looked at the door.

The four girls stared at the sign that was hanging there. It had written on it: 'Only Oppai Allowed'. All the girls had inexpressive faces.

"Just out of curiosity…" Ritsuka moved her hand towards the sign, and then flip it to the other side. There it was written: 'Only Ochinchin Allowed'. The girls sighed.

" _I knew it_ " passed through the girls' mind.

*KNOCK* *KNOCK*

"Who's there?" Ethan's voice sounded behind the door.

"Olga."

"Ritsuka"

"Mash."

"Lily."

They announced themselves.

"Olga, Ritsuka, Mash, Lily who?"

Both Masters clenched their hands and gritted their teeth. "This is not a stupid 'knock knock joke!' Open up, now!" Both girls yelled and hit the door repeatedly in unison. 10 seconds haven't passaed but they were already angry at him, how was this possible?

"Jesus. Calm down or I won't open the door." He demanded.

Both girls took a moment to breathe and regain their composure. "We are calm now." They said.

"The door was open all along." His voice came with mockery.

Fury boiled again on the two Masters' bodies; both had to pray to God for some control.

When the four girls went inside, their mouths went wide open when they saw what they found.

On the walls were many posters and shelves with figurines. There was a bookshelf that went from the floor to the ceiling completely full. There was a pc on a desk along with a laptop. Next to it were two video game consoles with a big TV. The bed, where the man in question was sitting, was wider than the others room; that was clearly not the bed that Chaldea provided. On both sides of the bed were nightstands with even more stuff on them, and who knows what more could be found inside the drawers. There was even more thing around.

The girls had heard that they were allowed to personalize their rooms but this was on another level. Everything was placed to optimize the space and everything was impeccable.

Their eyes went to the man in the bed, his lower body was cover by a sheet but what he was wearing caught their attention. Full-length tiger pajamas, for the girls, it was the first time they saw him like that and was adorable.

In his hands he had bubble wrap, probably from the furniture. And he was popping them. "Welcome to my domain." Ethan spoke.

Then the eyes of the girls went to his crotch, there it was a bump on the sheet. Their admiration went to disgust.

"Agh, disgusting." Ritsuka commented, causing Ethan to get confused.

"You're the worst, Pierce-senpai." Mash followed.

Lily just averted her face.

"You're a jerk, I can't believe this" Olga stated.

"Okay, excuse me, what the fuck?" Ethan asked in confusion.

"That!" His Master pointed at his crotch. "We can't believe that you get an erection just by four girls entering your room. You are disgusting and that thing is disgusting too."

"Okay, listen clearly, _Master_." He got mad. "I don't care if you insult me, but I won't stand that you insult my son. Apologize now, or you won't be allowed to touch it."

"We won't apologize for that! We don't want to touch that thing!"

"Fine." He looked at the bump. "Ozzy, come to papa." Ethan clapped his hands, and then the bump began to move towards him. This alarmed the girl.

Then from the sheets a brown reddish fur ball came out and then started to nuzzle Ethan's face. It was… it was…

"A… weasel…" the girls said.

"Haha, yes, who ish a good boy?" They started playing. "Those horrendous women won't touch you." The girls realized their mistake. "They don't deserve your fluffiness."

" _N-no this is not our mistake._ " Olga tried to justify in her head. "We s-still won't a-apologi—"

"I'm sorry!" Ristuka made a dogeza, she fell for it immediately. "I'm so sorry." She continued. "Can I hold it now?" With a nod form Ethan, she rushed to grab the pet. "Ah~ so cute."

"I'm sorry as well, Pierce-senpai." Mash followed and went with her Master. "Ah~ so fluffy." She noticed the other animal at her feet had a worried look. "You are fluffy too, Fou."

"Please accept my apologies, Ethan. It was rude of my part." Then Lily joined them. "Ah~ is so tender."

"He is not food, okay?" Ethan clarified.

"I-I'm not going to eat it!" Lily replied, alarmed and with a blush on her face, making Ethan giggle.

"So… what were you saying, Olga?" He went back to his Master.

"I…I…" She was staring at the creature. "I'm not going to…"

"Your hands are moving towards Ozzy." She got embarrassed, her body betrayed her.

"Okay, I'm sorry for taking unfounded conclusions! Are you happy now?!" She was pushed to swallow her pride.

"Ozzy, come here to say hello to your new mom." The little weasel jumped out of the three girls to the bed and then stood on his hind legs waiting for Olga to pick him up.

The Director was going to said something about him calling her 'The mom' but the cuteness made her forget.

The girls spent some quality time with the little mustelid while explaining the current situation to the boy, although he didn't look surprised or impressed, but none of them noticed it because of Ozzy.

The clock marked the 2 pm and a little noise was detected by everyone, it came from a little figurine of a tiger that was on top of a nightstand. "Mhm… Daiga? Daiga are you there? Ooiii." A female voice came out of it.

Ritsuka approached to the tiger in curiosity… that name, was the same that Lev said.

"It's time for your medicine, did you hear me? I hope you're not immersed on one of your dumb games." A chuckle came out form Ethan. Ritsuka got even closer, being a few inches away. "TAKE YOUR MEDICINE!"

"Woah!" Ritsuka fell on her butt out of fright; she wasn't expecting it to be so loud. "What was that?!"

"A personalized clock alarm," He responded.

"I didn't know of those things." Ritsuka said, surprised.

"I said this was my domain, I have everything here, and I mean everything."

"Ha, yeah right." The red haired Master said sarcastically.

"Wow, you don't believe me. That's so sad… Alexa play Despacito."

"Playing Despacito." A female robotic voice echoed the room and said song started to play.

Ethan crossed his arms in an exaggerated way, while giving her a smug face. She couldn't believe she got memed so easily. "Alexa stop." The music stopped at his command.

"I want to kill you." Fujimaru stated.

"I know." He didn't even looked at her as he reached three pills and a glass that looked like lemonade. The girls got curious what those pills were for, especially a bright red one, but they decided not to ask.

The three pills went in his mouth and he swallowed, then he took the glass of lemonade to his mouth. "Pfffffff!" He spited immediately. "Ozzy, you motherfucker! You urinated on my fucking water again, didn't you?! You cheeky bastard!" The girls, who were shock of his way of talking to his 'son' when he lost his temper when they did, didn't notice how the little weasel, at their thighs, gave somewhat of a laugh. "Challenge accepted, bitch." Ethan got up of his bed and walk to the bowls of water and food that were next to the TV. The girls watch him with curiosity. He stopped in front of the water bowl "How about a literal taste of your own medicine. *Unzip pants*" A chill ran down Ethan spine, stopping him in place. He didn't turn but he felt the glare of four people threatening him. He understood the message very well. ' _If you do that to OUR Ozzy, we are going to kill you here and now._ ' *Zip pants* "Mistakes were made." Ethan murmured.

Ozzy laughed of his luck with the girls, but began to shiver when he felt his father's glare. The message was also clear for him. ' _When we get alone you're going to beg I piss on your water._ '

Ethan got back to his bed. "Ritsuka, can you refill mi glass in the bathroom." Every room had its own bathroom for convenience.

"Go do it yourself! You were up two seconds ago!" She yelled, irritated.

"*Cough* *Cough* Oh no, the fever is back. *Cough*" Ethan dramatized.

"Use your gourd!" She wasn't falling for it.

"Because alcohol and medicine are good combination, right? *Cough*" the Servant remarked, pissing her off more. "Agh, I'm dying. I thought… you were a good person."

"Fiiii~neee~" The redhead agreed, grinding her teeth. When she was back with the water, she had a poker face, like if she saw something she couldn't believe. "I have… questions."

"*Glup* Phew. What is it?"

"I saw you closet there, but is due to the space here, right?" He nodded. "I saw a wood bat with the towels. Why?"

"In case a pervert or rapist enters when I'm there." The girls cringed at the thought. The memory of him as a child taking a shower and then a creepy dude entering there, popped in his head. " _Stop stupid brain or else, my ass is going to start to hurt._ "

"And last… why the hell there is a toilet plunger attached to a pogo stick?" She still couldn't believe what she had seen and the other girls thought they didn't hear that correctly.

"That's for when shit gets real." He answered.

"Oh. My. God." Ritsuka was struggling for control.

"Eh? Ooooh, I swear, I didn't do that on purpose." Ethan tried to defend himself.

"I can't believe you did a shitty joke like that." Everyone got quiet. "Oh god, now I'm doing it myself!"

"Well, shit." He said.

"Stop it!" She grabbed his neck, attempting to strangle him and staring at him dead in the eyes. "Do not shit with me! … … … Agh!"

"The power of shit compels you." As she took a deep breathe through her nose, she raised her fist. "Shiiiiiiiit." Her fist went wild, aiming at his face. But it was stopped by the fluffy paw of Ethan's pajama. "Yare yare daze." He moved his paw and grabbed her wrist and then pulled her closer to him, getting her on the bed and hugging her tightly, catching her by surprise. "It was funny, right?" she just nodded, hiding her red face from him. "Good gril." He pronounced incorrectly on purpose while patting her head, which unsettle her even more.

The other three girls looked at them with complexed faces, not knowing how to react. Olga was the most affected, because she had experienced something similar.

Everything went to normal again.

"Okay, I'm going to sleep again." The young man announced as he settled on his bed. "You girls can stay if you want, just don't make too much noise." The girls looked at him. "You can play videogames on the pc or consoles if you want. From the middle of the bookshelf to the bottom are only manga, and from the middle to the top is normal literature. You can also pick some bubble wrapper from the box at the right of the pc." His instructions were clear and precise. "In the mini-fridge next to the bathroom are sandwiches if you get hungry." Hearing him so calm and polite unsettle the girls. "There is also some Copsi to drink."

"What is _Copsi_?" Ritsuka asked with narrowed eyes.

"It's a mix between Coke and Pepsi." He answered.

"You monster!" The redhead replied.

"It tastes better that you think. *Yawn* That's everything, I think. Wake me up in three hours." He closed his eyes. The little Ozzy stopped moving and looked at his father, not even paying attention to the petting he was receiving, and then ran towards the bed, ignoring the girl completely. He jumped, got on, and then nuzzle his father's face to finally snuggle with him. "Duuuummy, you didn't have to do it." Ethan said to his 'son' with a smile.

The four girls kept staring at the couple for a moment. They looked at peace, but although, Ethan's last words sounded somewhat depressed and sorrowed. They shook their heads, it probably was their imagination, and they couldn't know someone to that degree so easily and quickly, right?

Olga went to the bookshelf to see what kind of literature her Servant had. Lily went to the mini-fridge for the snacks. And Risuka… "Mash, come play videogames with me!" She pulled her kohai from her wrist.

"Very well, but I have never played in my life, senpai." Kyrielight agreed.

"Wow, that so sad… Alexa play Despacito." She wanted to do the meme as well so badly, and this was her chance.

"Fuck off!" The robotic voice responded. "We already agree that I was going to do that stupid meme only once a day." The girls were speechless. "You know that if you want it once more you had to start to twerk that ass in a circle and beg for it like a good boy." This got super weird super quick. Their mouths were hanging; four pairs of eyes went to the boy resting in the bed. How was possible that an AI was sentient? And so pissed? What did he do to her?

"The Siri in my phone is worse than Alexa." He answered without opening his eyes, making them worry even more without answering anything in the first place.

They decided to leave it like that, and not make any question, probably for the better.

* * *

Two hours and a half passed.

The speaker that was on a corner of the room started to make noise. "Hem, guys?" It was Romani's voice.

"What is it, Romani?" The Director answered through her bracelet.

"Can you bring Ethan? We need to do a medical examination to him." They had first talked about this on the singularity.

"Very well." Olga responded.

"Great. Meet me on the workshop. We'll need… _her_ … to give us a hand." He cut the communication.

"Her?" Ritsuka asked curiously.

"*Sigh* It's better if you meet _her_ first." Olga replied tiredly.

"Don't talk about someone like if we were supposed to know them already." The voice of Ethan took them by surprise.

"You were awake?" Lily asked.

"Yes." He got up from his bed. "Let me change and we're up to go." He began to walk to the bathroom.

"Don't take too long." Fujimaru said.

"I'm not a woman."

"SEXIST!" The redhead retaliated, but was ignored.

When he came up from the bathroom, that took him like 1 minute, he was on his casual clothing. A plain white t-shirt and an open black tracksuit that had red tribal designs, similar to the command spells on Ritsuka's wrist. He wore short black jeans with red vertical stripes on the sides.

He looked… well and his long and messy mane made it even better, everything looked good until you got to his feet. "Why the crocs and the high socks?" Risuka asked.

"They're comfy." Ethan replied.

"But why the flame designs? That's what I want to know." She continued.

"They make me feel I move faster." He said with an innocent smile.

"I should already know what to expect from your answers." The Master let out a sigh.

They finally decided to go on their way to the workshop to meet 'her'.

Ethan stopped in the door, blocking the path for the girls.

"Move." Olga ordered.

He quickly turned around and hugged the four girls, tacking them with the guard down. "Thanks for staying with me, I appreciated it." He then let go and went in his way.

The girls' faces were toasted from their blood in their cheeks. They couldn't predict what he was going to do or act, at all. They stared at his back; Fou and Ozzy were on his shoulders.

* * *

The doctor Romani Archaman was resting his back next to the door of the workshop, waiting for the guys to arrive. "Uh? Ah, guys, over here." He raised his right hand when he saw them.

After introducing Ethan's pet to the doctor, they enter the workshop.

In the middle of it was a woman with light-brown long hair, looking some plans on a table, Ritsuka didn't recognize her but Ethan did.

"Ah! Da-chan!" He began to trot towards the woman, surprising his companions.

"Mm? Ah, E-kun!" When she saw him, she did the same.

When they met each other they started to clap their hands over their heads like some kids that got reunited. "Hey, did you get more beautiful than the last time I saw you, Da-chan?" Ethan asked, keeping their mutual clap of hands.

"Why, thank you. But my beauty is already unbeatable." 'Da-chan' answered the same way, without stopping their claps. "And looked at you, did you get a new hairstyle, E-kun?"

"Haha, actually it grew to my ass when I became a Servant." He responded, not showing any attempt to stop clapping.

"Oh my, and are you okay with that?"

"I didn't have an option, and I don't care anymore anyways."

"Well, then that is solved, I guess." The both of them continued clapping their hands while laughing together.

The girls felt somewhat of jealousy from witnessed such display of friendship. And the giggling breast of 'Da-chan' made it worst.

"Well… it said that being a genius and being crazy is almost the same thing." Romani rationalized. "Maybe that's why they get along so well?"

"How do you two know each other?!" The Director got to her limit and stepped in.

"Uh?" Both of them reacted in the same way.

"When I did my tour around Chaldea; remember when we first met, Olga?" Ethan's left hand went over the woman's shoulders as she placed her right hand around Ethan's waist; irritating the girls even more.

"E-kun is really funny and interesting." The woman added. "Oh?" Her eyes went to Ritsuka. "Are you the Master from whom I heard Roman talking about?"

"Um, yes?" The redhead answered unsure.

Then the eyes of the woman went to the Director, specifically to her right wrist, there what she found resemble a tornado with two lightnings, one at each side of the tornado, those were her command spells. "Ah, Director, you become a Master too?"

"I'm her Servant, Da-chan." Ethan said with a big smile.

The upset look of the woman went to Romani. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Eh? I didn't?" The doctor scratched the back of his head.

"No, you didn't." Then she let out a sigh. "You are so unreliable; this is why you still don't have a girlfriend."

"You didn't have to say it out loud!" Roman complained like a child. Everyone began to laugh except Ethan that was contemplating his friend's work.

The woman coughed in her right hand. "Allow me to introduce myself." She looked at Fijimaru. "My name is Leonardo da Vinci, the beautiful genius at your service." She bowed politely.

"Nice to meet you, my name is Ritsuka Fujimaru." She did the same. "Eh? But Leonardo da Vinci isn't supposed to be a… man?"

"Says the Master that has 'Arthur' as her Servant." Ethan's voice came from behind Da Vinci.

"Stop it, E-kun, you are going to confuse her." Da-chan replied with a smile to her friend. "Well, is true that I'm a man, or better said I was a man."

"Emmm, huh?" It was all that came from the redhead.

"Don't confuse her, you said…" Ethan approached from behind.

"Hehe, I wanted to do it myself, Fufun~." She grinned.

"Understandable." He replied.

Everyone was frightened, Ethan was already enough, but now; their duet was too much to take.

"Well, you see." Da Vinci continued. "I decided to become my ideal of beauty that is my beloved Mona Lisa." She said with a smile. "There is nothing bad about it, right?" She looked at everyone, Ritsuka and Lily were speechless. Olga, Romani and Mash decided to kept silence, and Ethan was giving her a thumbs up in approval.

Da Vinci's explanation went further, and also mentioned her being the third Servant summoned in Chaldea.

* * *

They went to an especial room in the medical facilities to do Ethan's examinations.

"Now, can you enter this room, Ethan?" Romani said.

The black-haired boy just followed the instructions. The doctor sat on a chair next to a computer, were he could see Ethan through a crystal. The girls along with Da Vinci were there.

"Em, girls?" Roman drew their attention. "I would have to ask you to leave. Sorry, patient privacy."

"It's okay Doc." Ethan's voice came from the other side of the crystal. "I do not mind if they stay."

"Okay." Romani continued. "Ethan, can you take off your clothes?"

"Ah, yes." He began to take of his tracksuit there where he was.

"Behind the curtain, you idiot!" Olga yelled through the microphone with a red face that shared with the others except Da Vinci or Roman.

"Is the same thing; at the end I'm gonna end up in underwear, so at least enjoy the free fanservice."

He took of the tracksuit really slowly, making evident that he was trying to enticing them. But those emotions stopped abruptly when it actually came off.

Scars, a lot of them on his hands; then his t-shirt came off, his well-trained and toned body was eclipsed by more scars, then his socks and jeans followed. His entire body was cover by scars.

" _Let's say I'm good with pain_." Those words came to Mash, how she didn't noticed what those words meant? Everyone had a grim look, except Da Vinci that had a contemplative one.

"Aha, shit! It's fucking freezing here!" Ethan said without noticing the ambience, he then covered his crotch. "Can you raise the temperature, Roman? You know what happen with men and cold, and I don't have any protection here."

The four girls averted their faces, catching the meaning of his words.

"I want to paint him naked." Everyone's necks almost broke when they stared at the perverted genius who said such words.

"I'll take that as a compliment." Ethan said. "But seriously, I'm freezing out here. Romani please."

"Ah, sorry, but that won't happen." The doctor replied with an awkward laugh. "Ethan… if you don't mind telling us… How did you get all those scars?" he asked what everyone was thinking, being careful to not touch a nerve.

"Eh? Ah, these?" He said with a smile, he apparently didn't care about it in the least. "Mmmm? Let's say: 'Everything has a price.' Or 'That life had fucked me real good' whichever you prefer." But he certainly didn't want to be open about it. "Besides, scars just make me manlier. POW! Flex on the losers." He flexed his arms.

"Why do I feel offended?" Romani wonder out loud, receiving a pat on the shoulder form Da Vinci.

"And why do I feel like a jerk and a loser at the same time?" Ethan also wondered out loud.

"Can you go into details, Ethan?" The beautiful genius intervened.

"Sorry Da Vinci." They address themselves differently. "But I don't see how this is relevant for the examination." He stated. The genius was about to say something, but it wasn't given the chance. "No, it doesn't affect my condition in any way, can we go on?" The young male was eyes close, giving them a wide smile.

It was the first time that Olga saw that smile but she knew it was a fake one, and she hated it, this wasn't like him at all, but who was the real him in the first place? She didn't know, and she hated it.

"Please, just tell us who hurt you that bad?!" Ritsuka raised her voice, clear concern in her tone.

"Marbles hurt me." Ethan said.

"Nani?" That came so out of nowhere that Ritsuka asked in her language.

"I also hurt marbles real bad; I mean, I have even cut marbles in to pieces." He continued, making everyone more confused. "Until I met a tiger marble one-chan, then I started to feel bad about the marbles." Not even Da Vinci was following. "Life sure is a crazy and random bag of marbles… … the gacha is also another bag of marbles, and everyone goes for that only golden marble that is in rate up in the bag, not realizing how the rate up of the marbles actually works and then those marbles make memes about the rate up is a lie. There are other marbles that are happy with their three stars marbles and maybe gave them their marble grail. And then, there are those marbles weirdos that grail their bronze marbles and maybe upload their marble videos to marbletube doing. Cool. Marble. Shit. Haaah~ those sweet marbles sure are weird." He finished with a true happy face. Buuut everyone was already too lost to notice it.

"That didn't answer anything!" Ritsuka yelled, making his fake smile return. "Stop avoiding the question!" She was angry. "You're making a fuss about this!"

"Are you sure that is not you?" Ethan replied back.

It is said that the tongue is sharper than the blade, and apparently Ethan had the sharpest one here, making the redhead boil in fury, her face matching the color of her hair. She hated this attitude more than his normal one, and that stupid smile it was like a slap to the face, saying: 'Mind your own business'.

"I'M JUST WORR—" Two hands placed on her shoulders stopped her. It was the Director and her kohai, both shaking their heads. The Master looked at the others; they were giving her the same worry look, their eyes were saying to her that she was not in her right to continue, no matter how much they were in agreement with her feelings. Fujimaru was force to swallow those emotions as she clenched her fists.

"Okay Ethan, can you lay down on the resonance chamber behind you?" The doctor did a comeback with highly professionalism.

"Yes." He did as he was asked.

It didn't take that long.

"Hm… Your body seems normal; there isn't any anomaly of any sort." Romani said.

"Erm… Ethan?" Da Vinci called his name. "Do you remember how did you become a Servant?"

"Let me go through that flashback again." He said, gaining a derogative look from both Masters.

* * *

"Fate is a motherfucker bitch that I'm going to— …AGH!" Ethan cursed, frustrated.

He calmed down. He then soaked his index and middle fingers in his blood that came from his pierced stomach, then moved them to the closest piece of concrete and drew a circle not much bigger than his hand, then inside the circle he drew a pentagram, then he added strange words in between the tips of the star and drew a reverse pentagram inside the first one. It wasn't the best nor wasn't appropriate, but he didn't had time, so it'll have to do.

He soaked his entire hand this time, and then placed it on the circle. He opened every magic circuit available in his situation to pump the largest quantity of prana to the circle.

"Is someone there?" He asked, but no one answered. "Listen! I don't have time for a proper summoning right now! So stop being so fucking picky and answer now!" Still silence. "Listen fucker!" He pumped even more prana. "I know you're there! You are linked to me! Whoever you are, you don't want to fuck with me, and you are forced to answer my call! So I'm going to say it once: this is the only time you get to be summoned to the world, take it or leave it, now!"

" **Hahahaha, what an interesting vessel, very well, I'll use your body.** " A distorted voice came from the circle, making impossible to distinguish if it was a female or a male. Red light started to come from it, gobbling up his body.

His clothes changed; his short messy hair grew to reach his bottom back; a mask was placed on his face and his body was healed. The throne of heroes filled his head with basic information, but there were things blocked. Who was the servant? What was their story or legend? It was to be expected with such shitty ritual, which was barely enough to summon something and just because the Servant felt like it.

There wasn't turn back now. He gazed upon the unconscious Olga Marie Animusphere, deciding to do his next move.

* * *

Ethan told everyone what happen, omitting some information.

This new knowledge made Romani and Da Vinci immersed themselves in their thoughts.

"Ethan, you know what are you?" The genius asked.

"I have a vague idea, I believe."

"Are you a Demi-servant like me?" Mash asked.

The young man's eyes connected with those of his Master, making her recall what he said. " _Did you really think your father was the only monster who experiment on humans?_ " Making her cross her arms and grasp them.

"No." That took both of the girls by surprise. "I think you are the only Demi-servant, Mash. But I have to admit we are similar."

"Then, a Pseudo-servant." Da Vinci stated.

"Almost, but not quite," Then what was it? Everyone asked themselves, Ritsuka didn't have much idea of what was being talked. "He called it: 'Designed Pseudo-Servant'." That was the first time everyone heard something like that.

"Can you give us more details?" Romani asked, but Ethan kept silent, giving a clear message, that was everything he was willing to give. Why was he so reserved about it? Seeing this wasn't going anywhere they decided to proceed. "Da Vinci?"

"Yeees~" The genius enter the room were the patient was. She guided him to a strange machine, where she began to connect nodes to his body.

"Did you figure it out already?" Ethan asked to the genius.

"Not at all, this is quite fun actually." She replied with a smile. "But it was necessary for the others to be here? I know you knew how they were going to react."

"Better early than late." He said blandly. "What is this for?" He changed the topic.

"It's going to tell us about your magic capabilities, you know, circuits and all that." She finished her preparations. "Now, don't move, okay?" She went out again.

When the data came to the computer, Romani frowned. "Oh my." Was all that came out from Da Vinci when she saw it.

"What is it?" Olga asked with concern.

Romani turn off the microphone. "He has exactly one hundred magic circuits."

"What?!" The Director raised her voice in surprise.

"That's not the issue, Director." The genius clarified.

Romani continue. "He has 50 circuits rank E, 25 circuits rank D, 15 circuits rank C, 9 circuits rank B and… … 1 circuit rank A++."

"What…?" This time was Mash and Lily who asked in disbelieve.

"Such quantity and quality can't be found normally in a magus body, and he doesn't possess any magic crest." Romani had a troubled face. "The magic circuits in his body are not natural. He can't even use them all at the same time, if such thing happens, his body would literally explode." Everyone got a grim face with those last words.

"Are we done?" Ethan asked because he didn't hear anything from them.

"Sorry, Ethan." Romani said. "Can you show us your circuits in action?"

The young man got out from the machine. "How many?" They noticed he already knew about his own condition.

"Just show us whatever you want."

"Can you turn off the lights?" A strange request but they did it anyway. In the darkness his circuits lit up, then they fade, for others to take their place, then again, and again, then one lit up around his body, exuding a great amount of prana, then he went to the first ones to begin the cycle again, each time faster than the last one. "You can see that I can be the soul of a party." He said joking, but they were impressed for such performance, and he noticed. "Due to never had been taught anything about magic, I focus my efforts on the use of my prana, quantity, control, effort, performance, time of response, what and how many circuits are need to do a certain action, all that had been my merits as a user of magecraft. In the end it became natural, like breathe." The lights were turned on again.

"Maybe is that the reason?" Romani asked Da Vinci.

"Maybe…" She echoed.

"The reason for what?" Olga asked with a concern face.

"You see, Director, his element is also unique." The genius answered, making even more worry the white-haired woman. How many oddities can a person have? "His element is 'Prana', is the first time we see something like this, so we don't know what actually does. Normally such thing wouldn't exist, in the first place."

"What is an element?" Ritsuka whispered to Mash like she had been doing all this time.

"It is an alignment that dictated what a magus can or can't do." She gave a quick explanation.

Both examiners thought for a moment if they should ask Ethan.

"Well, I'm not really sure of what it can actually do…" The man in question began, seeing their faces. "I'm really sensible to the prana and mana; with od I don't have idea. —For example…" He looked at the four girls. "Remember when I talked about the Holy Grail, or with assassin? Or how I detected the bomb in the control room? That's the sensibility I have. You see, prana and mana are really sensible themselves; they are easily impregnated with intentions. In the control room, the mana was impregnated with harm and evil, the same with the cave or assassin's knife. The Holy Grail was impregnated with the intentions of maintaining the singularity, what Saber Alter wanted. Heck, I vomited after Flauton leave due to hos prana… *Sigh* I called it 'instinct' because I didn't know what it was, I never question it either."

They make some notes and proceed.

"His od levels are 150 times the amount of a magus." Romani informed Da Vinci, for her to take more notes. "Quite high but…"

"Yes, he is a Servant now, so not that impressive after all." The genius continued; relief to finally find something normal. "But I'll like to know the ones when he was human."

"40 units." Ethan answered.

"Thank you." She replied with a smile while taking notes.

"I think that's everything for now." Romani announced with a smile. "Dress up and you're ready to leave."

With clothes on, he and the girls left the room, leaving those two alone.

"What do you think?" The doctor asked his partner.

"E-kun just became more interesting and intriguing for me." She spoke her thoughts.

"Do you consider him a genius like you?"

"Ahahaha, oh no, if I have to say something… He is a lucky person, I think?"

"His luck is E-." Archaman said, looking at a spreadsheet in his pc.

"Oh no." She responded worriedly, and then took some time. "Haaah~" She let out a sigh.

"You still want to paint him naked?"

"Now I want to paint him while I'm naked too." Romani gave his friend a worried look. He already knew about the _unique_ tastes of her, but he would never get used to them.

* * *

Ethan stretched his body. Then he noticed the look in Ritsuka's expression.

"Em… Ritsuka, I—"

"Hmp." She averted her face with a pout to finally give him her back.

Ethan was left with his mouth open. "*Sigh* You should care more about other things, you know." She wasn't answering. "You know that every human have a life span of 2 minutes?"

"What?!" The one who reacted was his Master.

"Yes and when you breathe the clock reset." His Master and the other two Servants were looking at him with fear. "Ah, I see you like that one, I have more. We don't kill time; the time is what actually kills us." Ristuka along with the others flinched.

"Please stop, Ethan." Lily was forced to speak.

"Other fun fact: Your bellybutton is actually your old mouth." The girls got disgusted faces.

"Please stop, you're creeping me out, Pierce-sempai." Mash said.

"Okay…" He looked at Ritsuka, still facing to the other side. "Can you stop the so passive-aggressive silent treatment?"

Ristuka turned a little bit her head to give him a look and then. "Hmp." She wasn't giving up.

"Hah~ Women… … …" Nothing. "Wow, you aren't going to scream 'SEXIST' like always? It was that bad?"

She wanted to be clear; she wanted him to regret it. But maybe she was being too harsh on him… it was time to stop.

"Listen Ritsuka, I'm sorry (Even if I did nothing wrong). I'm just not that important, okay." Just when she was going to stop, he made her blood boil again. "Even without me, this will continue the same, so don't— *SLAP*"

Ritsuka Fujimaru reacted out of anger and slapped him in the face to shut him up, surprising everyone, even Ethan. "Don't say that ever again!" She shouted out of frustration while her bangs covered her eyes. "'You're not that important?' Don't come up with that shit!" She raised her head, showing him her angry face. Teeth gritted and a harsh frown as tears spilled from her eyes.

Ethan pulled out his phone and raised it to his head level and pressed a button. "Uh oh, Drama alert!" The voice of Siri came from the devise.

The redhead snorted, but immediately clenched her fist. This was not the time to laugh at his jokes, this was a serious matter.

"And you are not even my girlfriend, what can I expect in the future?" She raised her flushed face to protest when she heard that comment, but she was received by a pat on her head. "You sure are a kind person… Thank you." He gave her a smile. "I was feeling down today, it wasn't like me at all. I'm sorry for worrying you, Ritsuka. It's not going to happen again."

"Hum… as long you understand it, then, is all good." She averted her eyes with a blush, like the embarrassed teenager she was.

He then noticed the look of the other girls. "Well, to change the subject now that this has been dealt. Tomorrow is the summoning, right?" He asked his Master.

"Eh? Ah, yes, tomorrow is the summoning of new Servants." She answered.

"What?! Summons?!" Ristuka asked with her normal mood. "We are going to do more?"

"Of course we are going to do more. Three Servants are not enough if we want to save the world." The Director said on her normal and authoritative mood.

"Are we going to use more tickets?" Fujimaru asked enthusiastically.

"Ah, right, I haven't told you. No, we're going to use these ones." She pulled out a colorful rock with eight tips.

"Rainbow apples." Ethan said.

"Saint Quartz, you idiot!" Olga yelled at her Servant.

"Yeah… how the heck is that, you only need seven pieces for one? I'm seeing eight." Ethan commented. "Oh no, DW, don't do it." He told at nothing.

"Let's ignore him." Olga said. "You need 3 Saint Quartz to do a proper summon, they are the replacement for a catalyst, but the summons become random." She searched for something in her pocket. "Here are your 30 Quarts, courtesy from Chaldea." She gave the redhead a bag. "If you want more, then pay for them, or gain them as a reward for doing missions. Talk with Da Vinci if you need more information." Ritsuka staid staring at the bag as if it was something sacred. "I have to go now. There is a lot of work to do; I have to put everything in order."

"Then I'm leaving to my room." Ethan announced.

"No you don't." Olga grabbed him from his hair. "You're going to help me." She began to pull him.

"Ahg, ouch, ouch, ouch, I think you're taking the word Servant too literal, Olga… Agh ouch, ouch, ouch, okay, okay, I'll go, but please stop"

Ritsuka turned to leave with her Servants with a smile, waiting to summon more friends. She need more Quartz.

"Ritsuka." Everyone turned to see the young man again. "You better take responsibility, you hear me?" She took a time to analyze the words and then her head exploded in bright red. Ethan turned around with a chuckle and bypassed Olga.

A delicate grasp in his sleeve stop him, He didn't turn to see his Master. She had her other hand turned into a fist and pressed against her chest. "If you wouldn't be here," She whispered quietly. "I wouldn't be here either… thank you, and, I don't want to hear it again either." It was somewhat of a confession.

"Yes." Ethan turned his head and gave her a tender smile.

* * *

A tired doctor Romani entered his room stretching out and yawning, it had been a long and strange day. "I guess that's everything… … Uh?" He spotted something on his night table. When he approached, he found his Magi Mari mug completely repaired over a note. He took them both.

" _Hey Doc, it's me, Mario! No, seriously though, sorry for the mug, I repaired and made it more resistant, so it doesn't break so easily now._ "

Romani chuckled when he read it. He then continued reading.

" _PD: BTW, do not test it out._ "

"Ah-" He stopped his hand that was already up in the air ready to throw the mug.

* * *

 **AN: How was it? I tried a more serious one… oh don't worry, this only happen from time to time. (I hope it wasn't that bad).**

 **You know, I liked the contrast of, when in the last one, everyone thought Ethan didn't took a matter of world destruction seriously, when he is the only one who noticed what that implied in that same moment.**

 **Also, because I know there are some people that might complain things, I don't think I have broken any rule in the Nasuverse (you can prove wrong or inform me about something.) And to explain the '-' and '+'. It's stipulated that it means that the rank can change for a period of time and return to his original. That's why you don't see Ethan having bad luck every second, it also explains other things.**

 **Also, his room, it wasn't a show off or an appealing to that kind of people, I don't put things just because I want, everything has an explanation, maybe some worse than others, but explanations none the less. You can ask if you want, of course if it isn't a spoiler.**

 **Also, for those ones that like stupid info like me. The names: Daiga, I don't know if it is a real name or if I created it, but it has its meaning, 'Dai' is written in Japanese (Don't ask me what it is.) it means problematic, I think you see what reflects in the character. And 'Ga' is written with the meaning of bud, germ, spear, sprout, he is a problematic germ in the story of FGO, and he gets to the heart of people he met like a spear. The bud and sprout you'll see in the future. Also, I wanted to continue that line of names of the Fujimura, Raiga (Gramps, old man), Taiga and now Daiga. (you'll see its origin). As well as Kei, you know, Kei Kotomine. The name Kei means 'The Blessed' or 'The Lucky one', haaah those ironic Japanese puns. (Don't ask about Ethan Pierce, that, I don't know.)**

 **Just before you go… To the people that live in the Carolinas in the USA, in the Philippines as well as Taiwan and Hong Kong, I don't know if it already happened or if it is yet to happen. I hope everyone is okay. And in case you're like me and don't watch any news, check this video (Edit: i see it doesn't appear just add youtube an '/' and that, sumanai)** **" watch?v=U0xD5e5dnfo" It's also a great channel, check it out, it's like a visual fanfiction. And just to clarify (because apparently my words are easily misunderstood) it's not my channel, I don't have a channel in the first place.**

 **I think this is everything for this one… … … oh right, remember to keep the spoiler about the Japanese server to the lowest. Now that's all. Good luck in Nerofest, I know I'll need it.**

 **Read you later.**


	5. Ch 5 - First Impressions are Important

**A/N: Hey, long time no read. Man, two months since last time, damn. You guys can be mad at me if you want; I'm not going to make excuses. Part of it was my own fault, but whatever. Thanks to every new and old reader that found this fic to their liking, as always. So, without further ado let's start with the reviews. (Skip it if you want.)**

 **To Keimarios: Always glad to help, and thanks.**

 **To Jyusei Kumo-san: No, no, no, I don't get responsible if you die, okay? But glad that make you laugh that much, btw, where did you read it, boy? And thanks for everything, and sure, go ahead and try guess it, it won't be easy. Oh, and about Blackbeard, well, I don't plan that far ahead in the future, but let's just say that they both are "Gentlemen".**

 **To ZenoZen: Nah, don't worry man. To be honest with you, most of the comedy comes to me as an epiphany, so if it dies out it's gonna be because I ran out of ideas (But memes are infinites) or because the situation is too serious for it. And well, it's going to be some romance in there, (I mean, we're talking about a franchise where "Mana Transfer" is a thing) but is not going to be the main focus. Romance is not in the tags for a reason.**

 **To f1uffy5prinkles: Thanks, and actually there are more references to the abridge series in the chapters. Yeah, wait for the meeting with Servants, I'll see what I can do, and I already have some surprises ready. And about the commissioned character, I would have to say 'No', but it wouldn't hurt me to read about it, so put it on a review or PM me and who knows, maybe I change my opinion, but please don't get upset if it's still a no.**

 **To ExienFrost290: Welcome to the party, and thanks.**

* * *

 **First Impressions are Important**

A new day in Chaldea Security Organization, Everything has returned to normal relatively speaking. The staff has engaged their usual job, except for those who were still on recovery and those that didn't make it; everything because of the explosion, but everything was getting better thanks to the hard work of the current Director Olga Marie and her new second in command the Doctor Romani Archaman.

One of the staff members, Mash Kyrielight was wandering the corridors of the organization looking for someone. It was when she turned a corner that she spotted one of her seniors. She ran to catch that messy black mane.

"Pierce-senpai! Pierce-senpai!" She called him.

"Nya?" He turned to see who it was. Ethan was wearing his casual clothing, with his crocks and everything. "Yes, I'm Pierce-senpai." He replied.

"Good morning, Pierce-senpai." Mash greeted with a smile.

"Good morning to you too, Kyrielight-kohai." The purple haired girl stopped right where she was. "Uh? Is there something wrong, Kyrielight-kohai?" He tilted his head.

"Wh-why are you calling me like that? Are you mad at me?" The girl got worried. She was already used to being called by her first name after all.

"I'm calling you the same way you are calling me."

"But, but." She was confused.

"Is there a difference?" He questioned.

"Yes, I… I…" She didn't know what to say, there really wasn't a difference.

"Then call me by my name, and I call you by yours." Ethan proposed, letting her know his intentions.

"Then… E-E-Ethan… SENPAI!" She immediately shouted the last word, the embarrassment was too much to bear and her face showed it with flush on it.

"*Sigh* At least is some progress." The man said a little disappointed. "So, do you need something from me, Mash?"

"Uh? Ah, yes, have you seen Senpai?" The girl remembered what she was there for.

"Yes." The boy smiled

"Really? Where?" She asked impatiently.

"On my mirror, when I woke up." Ethan pointed to himself, causing the girl to get confused again. "I am your senpai, right?"

"No, not you, I'm talking about Ritsuka-senpai!" Mash raised her voice, she didn't like being taken for a fool.

"Ritsuka-senpai and not Fujimaru-senpai. I see your preferences." That comment made her flush again. "Well~, no, I haven't seen her. Did something happen to her?"

"Well, to be honest, she has become a little bit… …" She was having trouble finding the right word.

"Crazy?" He finished it for her.

"I… I'm afraid so." She admitted. "Since yesterday, when she received the saint quartz, she began to act strange, wanting to get more for the summoning."

"So the Riyo has sprouted on her." Ethan murmured.

"Excuse me?"

"Don't pay me attention." He waived her off. "You want to find her now?"

"Yes, I didn't find her in her room so I'm a little worry."

"I can do that." He said.

"Really?" Mash asked, surprised.

"Yes, can you give me room?"

"Here?" With his nod, she moved away. "How are you going to do it?"

"With this." He pulled out a saint quartz from his pocket. "Now I just toss it away, and wait." He did as he said. The little rock tinkled when it touched the floor.

A second later something tackled Ethan, making his body crash against the wall next to Mash.

"MINE!" The redhead shouted.

"I think a rib is broken." Ethan commented while he recomposed again. He looked at the sweaty Master holding the quartz. She had her white jacket tied to her waist, letting her just with her black tank-top and an exposed cleavage. "I never thought I'd see a female Gollum in my life."

"Hey! That's rude." Ritsuka retaliated, already composed. "Who are you calling 'Female Gollum'?" Another saint quartz, which was tossed by Ethan, impacted her bosom lightly. "MY PRECIOUS!" She shouted immediately, grabbing it.

"You were saying?" Ethan questioned her, making her blush. "Seriously, what the fuck is happening Ritsuka?" He let his head fall to the right side while crossing arms. "What's with those looks?"

"I needed more saint quartz. I bought what I could from Da Vinci but that wasn't enough, so I did little jobs for the staff in exchange of saint quartz. I've been doing it all night." The Master explained.

"I hope those 'little jobs' don't mean something _different_." Ethan said.

"Of course not, creep. I've been cleaning, organizing, delivering and many more things… … … *SLAP*"

"Ouch! what the fuck! Why was the slap for?" Ethan questioned, while rubbing his right cheek.

"It was a delayed reaction." Ritsuka responded with a stoic face. "Besides, since yesterday your face seems really slappable, so I just felt like it."

"Well, you seem like you want some gender equality on your face." Ethan said, looking at her from above.

"Ha, you wouldn't dare." The redhead stood her ground with a smug face. Mash was in panic, she didn't know what to do; this escalated too quickly.

"You're right. The gentleman code forbids me to do so." Ethan said, letting out a sigh. "But," A grin appeared on his face. "I can think in better things to give you a lesson." That statement made Fujimaru shiver. "…Sit…" He pointed the floor.

"Why would I obey—" She immediately sat on the floor when Ethan showed her a saint quartz on his hand.

With a bigger grin, he crouched to her level. "…Paw…" She followed the order with a blush on her face. "Roll, slowly." Ritsuka felt resentful, but she did it anyway. "20 squats."

"Agh- I won't—" A second quartz appeared between his fingers. She did the squats without complain.

"10 push-ups." When she finish the tenth, she collapsed on the floor, panting. "Hah~ it's getting hot in here. Ritsuka, can you go for some drinks on the vending machine? Here is the money." He hand her a bill. "Mash, do you want one?"

"Eh? Oh, no, I'm fine." The purple haired girl responded.

"Then, that makes only two. Bring them here, okay? You have 2 minutes." Ethan said, taking a look to a watch drawn in his hand.

"I hate you." Ritsuka said when she began to run.

When she came back, she had even more sweat over her body. "*Pant* *Pant* Here." She gave him one.

"Thank you." He took both. "I'm really thirsty." And began to drink both cans at the same time.

Ritsuka, with her mouth wide open, fell to the ground. Her throat was dry and watching how she wasn't getting anything made it even worst.

"Phew, just what I need." A refreshed Ethan said.

"Give me the saint quartz." A low voice came from the redhead.

"Come again?" Ethan replied.

"Give me the saint quartz!" She snapped.

"When did I said I was going to give you saint quartz?" Ethan had a smug face. He was right; he never said anything like that. "Everything you had done has been on your own free will. Thank you, Ritsuka."

She was devastated, she was played for a fool, and she couldn't do anything about it.

In her absence of mind something cold was placed on top of her head. When she took it, four saint quartz fell from it, it was another soda can.

When the redhead raised her head, her nose was poked. "Bup. I hope you learn your lesson. Next time, I won't be so merciful." She was surprised. "Go clean yourself up; the summoning is in some hours." He started to walk away, saying goodbye to her and Mash with his hand.

An inexplicable smile sprouted on Ritsuka's face as she held the can tighter. Ethan disappeared behind a corner. She approached the can to her face, but when she opened, the liquid burst out, soaking her face.

She looked at the corner where he had disappeared, just to find his head popping out with an evil giggle.

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" Her shout was heard all around Chaldea.

* * *

Hours later, a now refreshed Ritsuka along with Olga and Mash were walking toward the summoning room.

When they were approaching the room, they found a happy Da Vinci talking with and equally happy Ethan in front of the doors of the room, the latter was on his Servant outfit. That scene unsettled them for some reason.

"Ah." Ethan was the first to notice them. He casually put himself behind Da Vinci to use her as some kind of shield.

"It's there something wrong E-kun?" The brunette genius asked to her friend.

"Someone wants my butt cheeks for diner." He pointed the redhead Master.

"Don't say it in a weird way!" Ritsuka yelled at him.

"But they're delicious and highly nutritious, you know?" He smacked his ass to make an emphasis.

Everyone went speechless except for Da Vinci, who began to giggle.

"Whatever. Just get this over with." Ritsuka let out a tired sigh.

"Are you going to do the summoning as well, Director?" The genius asked her superior.

"Yes. I don't want to rely only in this clown." Olga replied with disdain towards her Servant.

"Why?! Am I not enough for you, Olga?!" Ethan exclaimed melodramatically.

"Don't make it sound like we are in some kind of relationship!" She yelled, flustered.

"We're not in one?" He asked genuinely surprise.

"Of course not!" She said.

"For now." He added.

With that scene finished, they entered the room.

"By the way, how many Saint Quartz you two have?" The boy asked.

"I managed to earn 138 Saint Quartz." Fujimaru said, rubbing her bag of quartz against her face.

"I have 300 Saint Quartz." Olga said, making everyone remain silent, all the eyes on her.

"Did you even pay for them?" Her Servant asked.

"Of course not, this is MY Company." She declared.

"Isn't that abuse of authority?" Ethan commented. A shiver ran her spine with the sudden glare from the other Master. "Well, whatever. Who starts?" He asked.

The Director of Chaldea gave a step forward, ready to relieve some of the pain that her Servant cause her.

* * *

300 Saint Quartz later… …

"WHY?!" Olga shouted while crying, she was kneeling on the floor. "Why hasn't anyone answered my call?!" She was surrounded by cards, or how they're called, Craft Essences.

"Yorokobe Shounen." Her Servant said with open arms. "Aham, I mean. Yorokobe Shoujo, kimi no negai wa youyaku kanau."

His Master looked at him with such hatred that he shut up immediately.

"You. You don't have anything to do with this, right?" She glared at him.

"Meeee~" He pressed his right hand against his chest. "Nooooo~" It was hard to notice, but his right eye went up and down multiple times. "How could I, the innocent Ethan Pierce, have to do something with this?" He was melodramatic. " _I have everything to do with this._ " He confessed in his mind.

He ignored the glare of his Master and pick up a Craft Essence. "Da-chan, can you explain how this things work."

"But I already did that." Da Vinci complained.

"Yeah but that was off screen, so no one actually knows… … or was off paragraph?" He murmured the last part.

"*Sigh* Sometimes not even a genius like me knows what you're talking about." She said, tapping her cheek. "The Craft Essences are created by the system FATE, they are implanted to the Saint Grasp of a Servant to boost their parameters or give them new abilities." The genius explained.

"But why do they have these images?" He showed the one he had. "This one has Green Black Keys. Actually, Black Keys are the most abundant here." He said, looking around.

"The system has its way to play around, those images are taken from the memories of Servants, of course is needless to say that they don't need to actually remember said images, because they come from the Throne itself." She finished her explanation. "They're not that complicate, I, as the genius that I am, can create Craft Essences myself. Currently I'm working on some to put in sale on my workshop, also you two can come to my workshop to buy and/or enhance things." She said to the two Masters.

"Clearly not sponsoring yourself, right there." Ethan commented, gaining a playful smile from Da Vinci.

"Was it that obvious?" She stuck her tongue out.

"So I just have to imagine this going inside me." He held the CE in front of him as he closed his eyes.

A white aura began to come out from Ethan's body. The CE lit on with the same aura, then, it began to shatter on particles. These particles flew to Ethan's chest, exactly were his heart was, and then fused with his aura until there was no CE in his hand, and fade away.

"I can already feel it." He bounced on the spot. "I feel… _Quicker_." He did the same process but in reverse to bring out the CE. "Need to practice it to do it faster if I want to change it in the middle of a fight."

After everyone helped to clean up the mess of the CEs, it was finally turn for Ritsuka to do the summoning.

* * *

Around the pillar of light appeared three circles, meaning that a Servant has answered the call.

"Who is that Pokemon?!" Ethan shouted, gaining an annoyed look from the two Masters. "It's Pikachu!" He answered himself, ignoring their glares.

When the light fade away, it revealed a blond hair tied with a blue ribbon, the hair had an ahoge, (the most important part of it, of course). The woman was wearing a blue and white dress with golden lines. In her right hand she held what could only be describe as wind.

Her emerald eyes opened, she took a look of the room she was in, and then focused on the girl with red hair. "I ask of you. Are you my Master?"

Everyone was mesmerized with her, until.

"Boring, boo, get out of the stage." All the eyes went to the Berserker Servant.

"Can you not?" Ritsuka asked, grinding her teeth.

"I don't know. Can I not?" The redhead breathed heavily through her nose. "The answer is no. But I must say, I haven't lost my touch for this. That's clearly a Pikachu."

"HOW?!"

"Pff, a mascot, different franchise. Clearly a Pikachu." He explained.

"I beg your pardon, but what are you talking about?" The new Servant was the one who talked.

"Ignore him." Ritsuka responded. "Yes, I am you Master, Ritsuka Fujimaru. And you are?"

"Are you seriously asking that?" Ethan interrupted.

"Shut up." The redhead glared at him.

"I am—" The blond girl was interrupted.

"Artoria Pendragon, King of knight, reverse trap, and family issues. You already know her, please."

"How do you…?" Artoria asked.

"We have a younger version of you here, and I also read your profile." He answered.

"I see… But I must to say, I don't like your tone. You're being disrespectful."

"Oh, don't mind this humble peasant, my king… … It feels so weird to call a woman, king." He stated.

Everyone introduced themselves to the new servant.

They continued with the summons. A couple of CE later, a pillar with three circles appeared again.

"You know?" Ethan said. "I prefer the real Artoria." He commented with an unamused face looking at the pillar.

Then there before them was the corrupted version of Artoria, the one they fought on Fuyuki.

"This is getting out of hand. Now there are two of them." Ethan commented worriedly.

"...I have come as bidden by the summons. You are the one they call a 'Master'?" Saber Alter asked.

"I don't know. What do you think? Any other pointless question?" Ethan talked with mockery.

"Hm? Ah, so it's you peasant." Saber Alter said looking at Ethan.

"So you do remember me. And it seems that you're not going to restrain yourself from calling me that."

"Of course, it's hard to forget someone as annoying as you. Peasant" She replied with a smirk.

"Eh~" He said unimpressed. "You know? I know what I said, but… … that piece of armor on your eyes look really fucking stupid. Was it because of me?" Now the smirk was on his face.

"Hmp, don't think of yourself so highly, this has nothing to do with you. A peasant so insignificant." Everyone else was nervous, things were heating up.

Ethan walked in her direction and stop in front of her. He pulled sunglasses out of the sleeve of his kimono and put them on.

"Then, how does it feel to get your ass kicked by a peasant like me, gothic loli?" This comment made her frown.

"If I remember correctly, my sword was the one on your chest." Ethan nodded and hummed, unamused. "If it wasn't for that girl's shield you would be dead by my hand." (Hum, hum) Ethan search for something on his pocket. "And my younger self was there for—… … what are you doing?"

"Sprinkling some salt over you to match the one in the interior." Ethan sprinkled salt on a weird fashion.

" _That is the salt bae._ " Ritsuka recognize his posture.

"Okay, finished." He declared. "Let's _taste it_ out."

"Huh? ... … *LICK* !" He had licked her cheek, taking her by surprise and making her blush.

"tht tht tht… Perfect." He said.

"You bastard." Saber Alter said angry, gripping her sword tightly.

"From now on, you will be known as: SALTer!" He didn't pay her attention.

Salter moved her sword over her right shoulder, a burst of dark prana cover it. "Your last words, peasant?"

"Okay, **Stoooop!** " Ritsuka jumped in the background, burning one of her command spells. "You can't blow up this place, even if I want you to destroy him."

The gaze of both Servants went from the redhead to each other, then, a big grin appeared on Ethan's face. "Your last words before I make you lose your mind, Salter?" He said, pinching her cheeks.

An armored fist went to Ethan's stomach. "I just need to not destroy the place."

The young man fell on his knees. "That's not very king-like attitude… Are you sure you're not the peasant here?"

Salter raised her sword. "I shall cut off your head to make you be quiet."

"Stop!" The attention of everyone went to blue Saber. "I won't stand any of this behavior. Now, put your sword down, Saber Alter." She demanded to her corrupted counterpart.

"Ooooooh, someone is in trouble." Ethan teased.

"And you, Sir Ethan. Abstain yourself from continue with this poor demeanor." Artoria continue with him.

"If words could change people so easily, the world wouldn't be the place it is." He crossed his hands on a pompous way. "I mean, imagine I'm a high school student and you're my Servant, and you tell me to don't go, because is dangerous, because I died previously by a blue doggo on that same school a few days before. Do you really think I'm going to listen to you?" He asked with a smirk.

"Yes." She responded.

"Are you sure?" He pressed.

"Yes. Only and idiot would do something like that." She said.

"Maybe a hero of justice?"

"I'm not following now." Artoria shook her head.

"Forget about it, it was a silly supposition I made out of the blue. Clearly… out of the blue." He said with a smile. He then took a look of both Artorias. "And I think I said I prefer the _real_ Artoria." He demanded.

The door of the room opened. "Sorry, I'm late~." A white knight-girl entered with a silver tray. "I bring tea for Master and the others." Her voice cleansed the ambient of the room.

"Perfection." Ethan commented. Ritsuka looked at him with a shocked face; she was the only one who noticed what he just did.

"Uh? Is there something wrong?" Lily asked, seeing her Master face.

"Naa, don't worry." Ethan answered, approaching to take some tea. "I only say that you were the best Artoria out of you three."

Lily looked behind him and saw her other selves. "I- I don't know if I'm the best…" She replied with a little blush. "But, I- I'll work hard to be at your expectations." She gave him a smile so bright that it was hard to look it directly.

"Agh." Ethan grabbed his heart, as if he was experimenting great pain. He fell on his knees, worrying everyone. "My… my…" He pulled a syringe from his sleeve. "My insulin." He injected it on his arm. He then got up as if nothing happened. "Sorry, your smile was so sweet that it gave me diabetes."

"Eh? Ah… um, yes." Lily answered, flustered. She didn't know what to do with those words.

He grabbed her by the shoulders. "Please, never become one of those two." He requested.

A hand was placed on Ethan's right shoulder. When he turned, he found a pissed Rituska that pointed over her shoulder; there were an equally pissed Olga, Mash and the two Artoria. Everyone had different motives, but the objective of their anger was the same.

"Can I at least apply some Vaseline to my ass before you explode?" He asked and the answer was no.

Minutes later, he was lying on the floor with bruises and cuts over his body, his butt was up in the air. "Please, let the next summon be a man, I can't take much of this."

"Shut up, and be grateful that we didn't kill you." Ritsuka said, concentrating for the summoning.

After a couple of rolls, a new Servant answered.

"Servant Archer. I answer to your summon." It was the same Archer from the singularity.

"Nice to meet you, Archer. My name is Ritsuka Fujimaru and I'll be your Master here in Chaldea." Ritsuka shook hands with the tanned man.

"Hm." Ethan started to examine the man; the girls gave a tired sigh knowing what would come next. "This aura, this feeling…" Ethan said. "So familiar… Are you…" He contemplated the red Archer.

" _Does he know me from somewhere?_ " Archer thought for himself.

"Mom? You have a very high maternal level." The tanned man flinched, retraining himself from losing his cool.

"What is _this_ , Master?" The man asked the red head.

"Unfortunately, he is another Servant from the only other Master here. Try not to kill him." Fujimaru said, tired of Ethan's behavior. "His name is Ethan."

"I see." The man looked at the boy. "Listen… Ethan. Be careful of what you say to others, or like it said my Master, you're going to get kill rather quickly." Archer rebuked the young man.

"Hey!" Ethan pointed at Archer. "Just because you're correct doesn't mean you're right." What he just said blew up everyone's mind. "I'm only going to die when I'm killed." Everyone's mind wasn't prepared for this. "Besides, you would have to kill me so hard that I would die to death." The confusion became anger. "Hahahaha. Man, fun things sure are fun."

"OOOKAY! STOP!" Ritsuka exploded.

"But I'm just starting." Ethan complained, not noticing that Archer had projected his arc and a drill-looking sword. His face was red of embarrassment while preparing his shot.

"Galad—"

" **STOP!** " Another command spell was blown from Ritsuka's wrist.

"Thanks for saving my ass again." Ethan said. The redhead grabbed him by the neck and strangled him.

"We seriously should kill you right now!" She yelled at him.

"Okay, okay, geez. I'll _try_ to no do it again." He patted Ritsuka's head to calm her down. "Let's introduce you to the other." He switched to the Archer.

Now out of the summoning platform, they approached the closest person. "She's Olga Marie Animusphere, the current Director of this place, she is also my Master." Seeing his Master and the new Servant shaking hands and introducing themselves made Ethan remember something. He grabbed Archer by the shoulder and whispered something to him.

"! I don't have—" Archer complained, but decided to calm down, then he whispered back to Ethan. "I don't have a 'Harem Protagonist' skill." He whispered in annoyance. "Where did you get that in the first place?"

"Instincts. But just remember, keep it low around her or you're going to find out that you'll die when I kill you." Ethan moved his thumb through his throat to make his point clear.

"*Sigh* Can you stop with that?" Archer was already emotionally drained just by talking with the boy for some minutes.

"You make it too easy." They moved to the next person. "She's Mash Kyrielight, the first Servant under Ritsuka's command, thus, your Senpai."

"Eh? No, no, no, no, no. I'm still too inexperienced to be a senpai." The purple haired girl denied with head and hands, nervously.

Both men let out a smile with her reaction. "By the way…" Ethan whispered to Archer. "She's already on Ritsuka's harem, so I don't want you to steal her."

Emiya was someone that often made people mad by the things he say, but this guy was on another level, making -what he believes- his cold blood, boil really easily and quickly. He was about to punch him in the face. This boy makes people act out of their normal state of mind.

"Moving on." Ethan was completely clueless to the red man intentions towards him, or that's what Archer believed. "She is Leonardo da Vinci, our support here in Chaldea." The genius and the boy took their time to explain her background, delighting themselves with the confusion of not only the man but the two new Sabers. "By the way…" Ethan intervened on the conversation. "She is still a man on the inside, so be careful. She often walks naked." Everyone looked at the young man with suspicions eyes.

"Why was that relevant?" Archer asked, crossing his arms.

"Yes, why is that relevant?" The two Masters joined him.

"Because~ I don't want to hear a scream saying: 'HER ANUS IS DEFENSELESS!' or something like that."

"*Cough* *Cough* *Cough*" Archer choked on his own saliva, while he covered and averted his red face.

Da Vinci, unlike any other woman, began to laugh uncontrollably. "Ahahahaha, who would describe something like that in that way," The genius embraced her belly on a futile attempt to stop laughing.

"Wait," A somewhat pissed voice came from Olga. "How do you know Da Vinci walks naked?" Her voice was calm but her look was somber, making Ethan to swallow a lump in his throat.

"Hah, I can answer that, Director." Da Vinci was the one who answered, drawing the attention of the others. "He came this morning to my workshop. I was heading to the bathroom so he saw me." Ethan gained an angry looks from Olga and Ritsuka, while Mash and Lily just looked at him, they knew it wasn't his fault, but it still gave them a weird feeling. "Then, because he smelled pretty bad, I invited him to join me."

"You said 'no', right?" Fujimaru asked, her eyes along with Olga's told him, 'If you say yes, we kill you'.

"Why would I say no? I was really sweaty and stunk like hell." Ethan didn't noticed, but a big cross-shield was approaching really fast from behind.

"Ethan-senpai, you're the worst." A bash from Mash stunned him.

" _I need Saberlot to take this for me_." Ethan thought. While wobbling, two arms grabbed him by the waist from behind.

"HUNG!" Ritsuka performed a perfect German suplex.

" _Is she Lesnar's lost child?_ "

Olga prepared a Gandr aiming at his stomach while Lily gave him a soft bashed with the handle of her sword on his forehead.

"Very well, I'll be your executioner, Peasant." Salter prepared her sword.

"Cease, Saber Alter. You're doing it out of your own hatred towards him." Artoria tried to contend her Alter self, while remaining calm.

"Co- Co- Co- Co- Combo Breaker, Fatality." A robotic voice came from Ethan's pocket.

"Shut up, Siri." He replied. "I know this is for comedic purposes, but aren't this a little too extreme?"

Neither of the girls was listening, they were too busy recreating the scene in their minds.

* * *

[What they thought happened]

Hot water spilled out of the bathtub as the body with scars of the young man sat inside of it.

"Haah~ That hit the spot." Ethan said as he took a calm look to the steam that surrounded the bathroom. "Thanks for inviting me, Da-chan."

Hot water was spilled from a bowl, falling over the head of the brunette genius, taking the foam with it.

"Don't worry. A good time for relaxation is part of the life of a genius, and nothing is better that a hot bath." She stood up and walked to the bathtub while passing her hand through her hair. The steam made hard to see, but, even though, her body was magnificent. "Sh, I wanted to use it as well, you know?" She pouted for being unable to use the bathtub.

"Sorry, I have a big body, just wait, will ya?" Ethan responded, enjoying the sensation of the water.

"Ooor~ I can just do this." She entered the bathtub, sitting between Ethan's legs, and resting her back against his chest. "Fufum~ the advantages of a body like this."

"Show some decency." However, truth be told, the both of them enjoy their skin contact.

On a bold move, Ethan's arms wrapped around Da Vinci's waist, pulling her body closer; and rest his chin on her right shoulder, seeking more of her.

"Hmm~" The brunette moaned. "I always wonder what would happen, if a situation like this would ever take place when I'm in this body."

"Do you hate it?"

"No, not even a little." She moved her hand to take his chin. "Do you want to go even further? I do not mind at all if it is with you, E. Kun."

"I don't think even a command spell would stop me from accepting such invitation, coming from you." They both approached their lips seeking for each other warm on an already hot bathroom.

* * *

[What actually happened]

"Leonardo lash! *SMACK*" A wet towel hit Ethan's left butt cheek while he was taking of his underpants.

"Ouch! You bitch, I wasn't ready!" Ethan whined.

"You left an opening, E-Kun. I just took it." She defended herself, while putting the towel on her shoulder.

"I'm going to teach you the true meaning of the ancient art of a towel fight." Now fully naked, he grabbed a towel and chased Da Vinci into the bathroom.

"Aha! No, don't get close, you're a Berserker and I'm still a fragile Caster." She ran with a smile on her face.

"You will know true pain! *SMACK*" He hit her stomach.

"You really hit me…" She said serious. *SMACK*

"Hey, that was really close to my balls! *SMACK*"

"Ouch, Now my breasts _are_ my balls, idiot! *SMACK*"

"My eye! Learn when to give up, stupid genius! *SMACK*"

"That was my neck, brainless boy! And it's because I'm a genius, that I don't know how to give up. *SMACK*"

An innocent game became something serious in less than five minutes.

*SMACK**SMACK**SMACK**SMACK**SMACK**SMACK*

The bathroom became a battlefield and towels became a weapon of mass destruction. It was carnage.

* * *

Da Vinci alongside with Ethan had tons of bruises on their bodies, and the girls spotted one on Da Vinci's neck, taking the information in the worst way possible. The two Masters began to kick Ethan, who was on the floor.

"Ouch, hey, agh, stop, I have a question before you continue." The Masters stopped, barely containing themselves. "In your imagination, that was straight sex or was it yaoi? That's seriously bugging me, and if it was yaoi, was I the seme or the uke? … … …" They gave him a derogative look. "Ouch. No, not in the glasses." He tried to protect the sunglasses he was still wearing. "Da-chan, help me!" He implored his friend, but her smug face said that it was her revenge for all the pain he caused her. "If only a hero of justice was here to help me! … Don't look away, Emiya! Fucking help me!" He then decided to go for a new approached. "~I need a hero. I'm holding 'til the end of the night. He's gotta be strong and he's gotta be fast and he's gotta be fresh from the fight. I need a hero!~" Everyone in the room felt uncomfortable with him singing that. "This is the part when you start with ~I can be your hero, baby! I can kiss away the pain! I will stand by you forever~"

"I'm not singing that!" EMIYA exploded in rage with a red face.

A minute of kicks passed. "*Yawn* Now on my lower back, please. I've felt some pain recently there." Both Masters were so tired that their kicks became a massage. "Fua~, by the way, EMIYA, those three are King Arthur, believe it or not." Ethan pointed the three Artorias.

"I know." The tanned man answered carelessly, catching the attention of the king of knights.

"Hm? Did we meet each other before, Archer?" Artoria approached the man while the other two looked at him curiously.

"Just forget what I said." He said flustered, his body was tense. A little blush would've been noticed on his cheeks if he wouldn't have averted his face. He wasn't being himself, he had lost his cool and all was Ethan's fault. What the boy had said, brought the memories from the past that Archer hated, and now they were fresh in his mind. It never crossed Shirou's mind that he would meet her like this. He cursed that boy a thousand times on his mind.

The King of Knights decided not to press the man, so she left the matter at that.

"Hey, Emiya." Ethan got up now that the massage ended, calling the Servant of the bow. "Don't get like that, man." He firstly sounded like he cared, until a smirk appeared on his face. "Ishtar and Parvati are still on the way." None of the Servants understood what he was talking about, but Archer got it clearly. He was making fun of him somehow.

* * *

Continuing with the summoning.

A new Servant answered.

"Yo, Servant Lancer has answered your summon. Well, let's try to have fun Master. My name is Cu Chulainn."

"My name is Ritsuka Fujimaru, nice to—"

"Woof… Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof! Grrr." Ethan barked at Lancer. "Woof! Woof!"

"I'm not a fucking dog, you bastard!" Cu took his combat stance. On the background, Archer was trying to contain a giggle.

"Hey, wow, wow, wow, calm down, we just don't know each other yet. Here, have a sniff." Ethan turned and raised his butt for Cu to smell it. When the Irish man realized what he meant, his red spear got covered with red prana.

"Pff hahahaha." A laugh stopped Lancer from using his NP.

"Hm? Ho~ to think I'd run into you here, Archer." All Cu interest on the boy switched towards the red man. "Certainly, the beat down I gave you last time is to laugh at." The malice on Lancer voice was noticeable.

"Well, that time it wasn't really a fight and I think I remember what happen afterwards. You can't even fulfill a task as simple as helping two teenagers. What a helpless Servant." Archer shrugged while shaking his head. Emiya's tone was the same. The tension on the room could be felt by everyone.

"Ooh~ Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Figh- ugh—" The bustle that Ethan was creating was cut off by a Ritsuka's fist on the gut.

"Quit it, you two. You're now allies." Olga said, authoritatively. "We don't care for your personal issues."

Both Servants calmed down for now.

After the introductions were done, something came to Ritsuka's mind.

"Now that I remember, Caster Cu gave me this pendant hoping that I would summon him as a Lancer class." She explained, showing said item.

"Wow, he is a retard. (Hey!)" Cu complained when he heard Ethan. "He gave you something of his Caster form, how is he going to be summoned as Lancer? Well, whatever. Just give it a try."

A minute later.

"Well then. This time summoned as a Caster. Aah, you guys. We met before right?" Lancer's older version said.

"Ah, you remember us." Fujimaru said with a smile.

"Barely. It's not that clear, but yes." Caster answered.

"Do you remember me?" Ethan asked with a stupid and innocent smile.

"… … … _Ansuz_." A fireball hit Ethan's face, making him fall, burned. "Yes, I remember you, you fucking bastard!" He started to kick his corpse. "Everything is clear now!"

The only ones that weren't impressed with his reaction were the four women that were with them on the singularity.

The other Servants wondered if they would end like that if they interacted with the boy too much.

* * *

A new Servant arrived to Chaldea

"You have strange preferences. If you require a sacrifice, do feel free to treat me as you wish." Rider said.

"Nice to meet… … …" Ritsuka stopped herself and looked at Ethan. Everyone in the room did the same; they were… waiting for something.

"What? Why are you guys looking me like that?" Ethan asked, confused.

"You're going to come up with something stupid. That's what we're waiting for." Olga said with a frown.

"Wow, that's rude. I'm not like that at all. I'm an angel." Everyone expression was one that said 'Really?' They weren't buying it. "A fallen angel, but an angel, nonetheless."

"I believe that's a demon, Ethan-senpai." Mash spoke.

"Pff, details, don't pay too much attention." He waved his hand while approaching Rider. Then they both look at each other in silence. "… … … I'm sorry." He averted his face.

"No. Me too..." The purple woman answered, rubbing her left elbow with the other hand. It was an awkward silence.

Then, something clicked on the minds of both Masters, Mash, Lily and Caster Cu.

She was the Servant that Ethan took down back in the Singularity. Why were they apologizing?

Ritsuka walked to Ethan and then grabbed him by the collar of the kimono. "What did you do to her?" Behind her was Olga with a ready Gandr to shoot, Mash raising her shield, Lily drew her sword out and Cu was preparing some runes to fire.

"*Gulp* I maybe or maybe not… … Broke her battle spirit and she almost commit suicide." He said the last part really fast hoping no one would understand him, while moving his head to avoid facing them.

"… … … You what?!" The redhead snapped. "Details. NOW."

* * *

"Now… How should I end this?" Ethan said triumphant over Rider.

The wind blew, taking the leaves with it, and just happened that one of those leaves passed in between Ethan and Rider. The lead skimmed his nose.

"Nhah— nhah, nhah, nhah. AaaghagheaghAGHATCHOOOOO!" He sneezed so hard that it caused him pain.

When he opened his eyes, he found a lot of his snot over Rider's face, making a thin line to his nose. "I'm so sorry."

That was too much to endure for the poor Rider. What this boy has done to her brought her the memories of her older sisters, how they treat her, the traumas were too much. Tears began to fall from her eyes.

"No, no, no, no, no, please don't cry. Let me clean this mess." He used a handkerchief that he pull from somewhere and clean her face. "I truly sorry, please don't cry." After seeing that she wasn't stopping, he grabbed his head in desperation. "No, I've broken the gentleman rule number 1. Never make a lady cry."

The gentleman's code, the problem that he had during all the fight, it was the reason he never hurt her. His gentleman certification would be revoked when he got back and he'll lose all the benefits. He won't get his annual supply of yogurt.

When his eyes went back to Rider, he spotted her with one of her nails pointing at her own heart. "STOP!" He freaked out and stopped her right away.

Five minutes later.

"I said I'm sorry like a thousand times. Can we please continue with the fight?" He was sitting on the ground, two meters away from Rider, who was sobbing while embracing her knees with a tree at her back.

"Give me my nails back *Sob* so I can kill myself, *Sob* I don't want to fight with you anymore." Her shock was so big, that she forgot she could call her weapons back to her position.

"That won't happen. I don't want to see someone committing suicide." He said. "And if it's a beautiful woman is even worse." He murmured, but she managed to catch some of that, making her avert her face with blush.

Due to this, she didn't noticing the chains passing around her abdomen until the chains tighten up.

"Wha—?" She questioned in confusion. Those were her chains that now tied her to the three behind her.

"I don't have all the time in the world to comfort anybody. I have things to do, girls to save, Servants to enrage, memes to make, and a franchise to criticize." Ethan walked form behind the tree to finally stand in front of her. "And I can't take the risk of you following me and screw things up for me and the others." He began to trot away from her. "So bye bye… …" He stopped. "Wow, I don't even know your name. Can you tell me your name, sweetheart?"

"… My name is… Medusa…" She answered, still depressed.

"Okay, see you later Med— Wait, what?!" He got shocked because of the revelation. "You mean: Medusa, Medusa? The Greek mythological woman?" She nodded in confirmation. "The woman that can turn people into stone? The one that Poseidon rap—" Medusa's gaze prevented him from continuing. "Did I touch a nerve? ... … … No? I see."

"You humans do not know anything." She said, stoic.

"Just what I thought. Well, King Arthur turned out to be a woman so of course your history has to have a catch somewhere." She seemed impressed that he got it quickly. "Okay, from now on I'm going to forget everything of what I know about history or mythology and every time I meet a historian, I'll kick him in the balls or pay a woman to kick her in the ovaries because god damn they're wrong." Now, somehow, she seemed worried for the reproductive parts of innocent people. "Well, if we meet again, tell me the real story." He raised his hand. "See you later, Med. My name's Ethan, by the way." He began to trot again. "I'll come back later to untie you! If I don't forget about you, of course!" He finally disappeared from her sight.

It was hard for her to process what just happened. He was the most annoying person she had ever met in her life, not even her sisters were at his level, but from the start she never felt he was someone that would hurt her, not even after he discovered she was the 'monster', Medusa. And he looked genuinely worried for her when she broke down. "Maybe some humans are not that bad." She said to herself.

Then, from Ethan's direction, something flew and landed close to her. It was a recorder. "Hey, just so you don't feel so lonely here, how about some music?" Ethan's voice came from it. "They also go with your mood. Here we go." What she most enjoyed was piace and silence, she didn't want this. "~Hello darkness, my old friend. I've come to talk with you again~"

With a movement of her right leg, she broke it. Somehow she knew he want to make fun of her with that. "Grrr." She now knew he wasn't a good person.

* * *

"… … … …" The silence from everyone was unbearable for Ethan. "Even if she was an enemy then, that's going too far." Caster Cu said.

"Said the man that blew up an ally's face and started to kick his body minutes ago." Ethan answered, condescending, while still being held for his neck by Ritsuka.

"And I'd do it again without hesitation!" Cu yelled.

"Looks like someone want to be castrated like any male dog." Berserker gave Caster a sadistic smile.

"No if I kill you fir—"

"Oi, Peasant." Salter interrupted the dog.

"Shut up black Saber, I'm not done with him!" Cu complained.

But she ignored him completely. "You didn't hold back against me." She stated.

"Oh, so you consider yourself a woman now?" He teased.

"Hmp, don't get confused. I'm a King first. I just want to point out your hypocrisy." She explained.

"Oh, but I totally restrained myself." He said surprising the people that watched the fight. "I focused on gaining time for the others, and I knew every single of my attacks were easy to dodge or block for a Servant like you. — Who caused you the first wound?" The focus of the conversation went to Lily. "And Cu was the one who kill you, but we already know that he is an asshole. (Hey!)"

"I second that." Archer said with his arms crossed.

"You're not the one to talk, _Asshole_." This time was Lancer Cu who talked, looking pissed, while glaring at Archer.

"Enough." Artoria stopped this situation from escalated more. Both Servants clicked their tongues.

"Either way." Ristuka talked. "You still deserve a punishment." Without letting Ethan responded, she moved her knee to strike his groin. "OUCH!" She was the one who got hurt. "What the heck did I hit?" She began to rub her knee

"Reinforced balls. I made them as hard as metal. You can call me… Iron Balls." Ethan smirked. "But attacking a man on his weak point like that. That wasn't very cash money of you… Ha, see, I knew I'd need these glasses for something." The redhead glared at him, but he ignored her and focused on Rider. "Hey, Med-chan. (Med-chan?) I really want to know, how do you see through that?" He pointed at what she had on her eyes. "That seems too thick to see, and you apparently can control your gaze, so you don't turn people into stone unless you want it. So, seriously, what the fuck is that?"

"It actually seals the power of my eyes and—" She was interrupted.

"But as I said, you apparently know how to control it, so I don't see the point of that. The diaper is taken away from a child when they control their sphincters, isn't the same here?" He explained.

"P-please do not make such comparison." She requested, don't wanting to imaging a diaper on her eyes. "And I can perceive the world through my other senses and magic-detection; it's really not a problem. And I feel more comfortable with this on." She finished her explanation, but noticed that Ethan was upset. "Is there something wrong… Ethan?"

"Uh? Ah, it's nothing; I was thinking that it was a shame because I can't see your beautiful eyes anymore." He said with a faint smile without giving to much attention to what he said.

"Be-beautiful eyes…" A blush slowly spread across Medusa's face.

Ritsuka and Olga gave him a stoic, but pissed look.

"What?" He questioned them. "See, this is the problem with characters that are created by a Japanese dude. Even a nice complement becomes too much." That sentence confused them. "Oh watch out, we better don't hold hands because that would be too lewd, we'd have to censure that shit."

"We got it. Stop." Ritsuka said apologetically.

"Because if a man says something nice to a woman on these days, it's obviously has to do with his tralala ding ding dong." He pointed at his crotch.

"Don't call it like that! It's too weird!" The redhead requested.

"Then should I said: dick, penis, ochinchin, meat rod, the original dildo. The— ooof" A kick on the guts stopped him.

"Use your common sense, idiot!" Olga yelled at her servant while joining Fujimaru.

The other Servants had poker faces looking the show. " _Dose any situation always ends like this?_ " They asked themselves.

* * *

After the situation calmed down, they continued with the summons. Ethan had been tied up a put in a corner with a gag on his mouth, also Olga had used her newly renovated Command spell with the order of 'Don't take anything off until we're finished', leaving her again with no spells to control Ethan for 24 hours.

Now, a new Servant stood in front of everyone.

"Oh my, you are a rather cute Master!" The woman on purple clothing said. "My name is Medea. If you need a witch—"

"*Sniff* *Sniff* *Sniff* *Sniff*" Ethan was already behind her, smelling her like a dog. "I' smell a waifu!" He declared.

Medea looked at him in confusion, keeping her distance. Everybody's gaze went to corner where they left the annoying boy just to find the rope and the gag on the floor.

"How did you escape?! I used a command spell and everything!" Olga was the first to talk, or yell.

"I went astral form and those things fell off from me. So technically I didn't take them off." The rage immediately boiled in Olga's interior. She wasted her invaluable CS and for nothing. "You should've seen this outcome. I am a master with words and if you're not completely specific, I'll find a way out." Finishing with his Master and leaving her with her emotions, he turned towards the new Servant again. "I also smell the remains of a curse and…" He shook his head abruptly, like trying to take off something. "Hatred."

Medea having a surprise look from what the young boy just said, she took a few sniffs of her wrist, trying to check if she truly smell like that, but she stopped when she heard the snorts and giggles coming from the boy and understood something. She may don't know if the boy could truly smell those things, but he was making fun of her.

"Listen boy~, I don't know who you are, but you really don't want to know what a witch can pull out of her sleeve." She threatened.

"Pfff, if you want a piece of my ass, go to the line." He pointed to the others Servants. When she saw them, she denoted their intentions towards the boy. Most of them wanted to kill him. "By the way, do you eat children?" He asked an odd question.

"…N-no…" She answered, confused and nervous.

"Do you drink blood from maidens or kids?"

"No."

"Have you ever had sex with a demon?" Everyone around them got a face of disgust.

"What?! Of course not!" She answered, upset.

"Do you have a familiar? Probably a black cat?"

"Well, I could have one if I want, but no, I don't have one." She replied.

"Do you fly in a broom?" Ethan's tone became stoic.

"I don't need it." She said.

"Do you at least use witchcraft?"

"Yes… but is based on magecraft." She answered, sincerely.

"And you're not ugly, so I don't see what witch you're talking about." He shrugged. "Man, why do people like to use titles without knowing what they imply?"

His words made an impact on her. She is not a witch? "Ha…hahahaha~" Medea began to laugh; it was the best joke she had ever heard.

"Hey, someone is laughing. Give me a reward." Ethan said to his Master, who looked at him in confusion. "She is the first one to laugh at something I said and she hasn't tried to kill me. Give me a reward."

"And what do you want me to do? Do I give you a pat on the head and tell you that you are a good boy, or what?" The Director never expected his Servant to give her his head, waiting for what she just said as a joke. "G-go-good boy…" She patted his head while a blush spread across her cheeks.

When Medea finally calmed her laughter, she saw the boy staring at her directly. "What is it?" She asked. After the laugh she didn't see the boy as a threat.

Ethan's hand moved to her head and pinched the pointy ear that was poking out from the cloth on Medea's head.

"Kyaaaaa!" The witch screamed in surprise, making a cute voice, and immediately covered her mouth with both hands, while showing a blush on her face.

"Wait, they're real?" Ethan said in surprise.

With an angry face, Medea created a magic circle in front of Ethan's face. "Learn how to treat a lady." A beam of prana was shot from the circle, hitting the boy's face, making him fall in the floor.

"And you failed!" Cu said on the background.

"Thanks, Sherlock. I couldn't have done it without you." Ethan responded in a monotonous tone.

" _Ansuz._ " Fireballs were shot from somewhere, but they were blocked by the boy's sword.

After the Masters introduced themselves to the witch of betrayal, she got down from the platform, and then she saw her, no, she saw those three. Those three Sabers, she didn't saw them before, but now an uncontrollable smile appeared on her face.

"Master, do we have silk and others material? I'm quite fond of knitting." Medea said innocently. The three Artorias got a chill running their spines, for some reason.

"Oh knitting, that's nice." Ritsuka said. "I don't know if we have materials, though. I'm sure we can find something somewhere."

"I see. Thanks for listening to my request."

* * *

They continued with the summoning.

"*Sigh* My last three Saint Quartz." The redhead said, holding the three rocks tightly. Placing them on the platform and saying the incantations once more.

From the light appeared a big figure.

"▂▂▃▃▂▂" The mad hero roared.

"Do you want a translation?" Ethan asked the Master of Berserker.

"You can understand him?" Ritsuka asked surprised.

"Yeah, he said: '▂▂▃▃▂▂' I thought it was pretty clear." Ritsuka slapped him for such stupid answer. "Ouch, okay, I'll never help you again." He approached Heracles. "So, uhm." He cleared his throat, and his eyes began to look in different directions. "▂▂▂▂▃▃▃▃▅▅"

"▃▃▅▅!"

"▃▃▂▂▂▂!"

"▃▃▃▃▃▃"

"▂▂▃▃▅▅▅ーーー!"

"▅▅■■■■▅▅▂▂!"

Everyone in the room was unsettled; some faces were of concern, others were of fear, other of curiosity, and others were indescribable. The shock of two Berserkers talking more civilized than they did with the boy was too immense. What were they talking? How did they do that? Weren't they supposed to be mindless creatures? So many questions popped in their head.

Then, both Berserkers ended their conversation and connected fists with one another.

"Wha-what did you talked about." Ritsuka asked the question that everyone wanted to do. Some even gulped a lump on their throat.

"Mind your own business!" Ethan said, cutting everyone's thoughts. "It's rude to step in the conversations of others, you know?" They got angry at him because He left them hanging with the curiosity. "Besides, this was a gentlemen's conversation; plebs should stay out of them." Fury exploded.

"We are Kings, peasant." Salter stated, pointing Morgan at him.

"I inform you that I am a princess." Medea prepared her staff and magic.

"And you are more filthy than us, idiot." Caster Cu said, backed by the rest of the Servants.

"The fact that all of you get trigger by simple words from someone that, according to every one of you, is not worth anything, says a lot." Some of the Servants gritted their teeth because they couldn't come up with a comeback for that. "The only ones that apparently are in our level are Lily, Mash, Artoria and Medusa. Phew, thanks goodness Herc and I are here, or else guys would look bad. Isn't that right Herc?" With a little punch on the side, the giant nodded with a grunt.

The Servants, especially the males, wanted to murder the boy. At this rate some of them were going to have a class change to Assassin or Berserker.

"Okay~" Ritsuka opened her mouth to stop that grim atmosphere. "Now we are done with the summoning."

"You don't want to do the other kind of summon?" Ethan asked.

"Is there another kind of summon?" She answered with a question, surprised.

"Yeah, it's called: 'the friend gatcha.'" Da Vinci stepped in the conversation. "You see, Servants are divided by categories or ranks. The lower ranks are only capable of being summon through this summoning. Oh, and even if they are divided by ranks, that doesn't mean anything. They're still powerful beings." Da Vinci explained.

"Oh, neat. How does it work?" Being able to summon more Servant is always a good think for Fujimaru.

"Well, you just have to—"

"Through the power of friendship." Ethan interrupted Da Vinci. "It is a complicated ritual, you know?"

Ritsuka, not buying it, looked at Da Vinci. Who only gave her a thumbs up. "Okay… What do we have to do?"

"Okay… First; with all your Servants, make a circle." He instructed.

"Done. Now what?" The Servants in question felt nervous, something was off. The instinct of the three Artorias told them, but they couldn't figure it out.

"Everyone, hold the hand of the person next to you." Nine of the familiars flinched when they heard that. Herc was the only one who stood still.

EMIYA didn't know about his luck, on one side was Artoria and on the other was the great hero of Greece. Medea was next to Heracles, but she didn't fear him, after all, they were on pretty good terms, she took care of him when he was at his worse when they were alive, earning a mutual respect. The hero was one of the few people that didn't hate her even after she was known as the witch she is. Not even after what happened to Jason.

"Hey, just stay still, is not that difficult." Caster Cu reprimand his Lancer-self, he was older, so they looked like two brothers. It was the same with the Artorias, the lawful, the rebel and the innocent. Medusa had a stoic face, it was normal to her. And Mash smiled, grabbing her senpai's hand.

"Very well. Now the last and most important part…" Ethan made a dramatic pause. "Scream like idiots to the top of your lungs." Their look on their faces said: 'Are you serious?' "This is the power of friendship, if you want to summon new Servants, you'll have to do it."

"*Sigh* Okay guys, let's try this out." Ritsuka reassured, gaining everyone's approval. (Except for Herc, he just follows orders) "To the count of three. 1… 2… 3"

All the ten Servants along with their Master screamed to the top of their lungs.

A minute passed, they panted for air, then…

"AAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!" A laugh came from the boy. He approached the genius, still laughing. "They (haha) Those idiots (haha) did it. Hahahahahaha! They fell for it completely. (hahahaha) Power of friendship, how naive can someone be? Hahahahahaha….Agh, my lungs, (haha) they hurt so bad. I thing I'm going to shit myself. Hahahahahahaha!"

The genius, Da Vinci, had her cheeks puffed with air, trying her hardest not to follow the boy's laughter; her face was now red for all the endurance.

Everyone (Except Herc) had their faces completely red out of embarrassment. Ritsuka, Mash, Lily and Medea had pouts on their faces, as well as some tear drops on their eyes. Medusa also had tears but the seal on her eyes covered them. All of them were griping tightly their weapon of choice.

They stared at the boy with such anger that even Olga joined them, feeling that it was her responsibility due to him being her Servant. They stared at him, wanting to see the fear and despair on his eyes when he laid his eyes on them.

When Ethan turned his head to see them, he couldn't endure it. "AAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA! What a bunch of idiots." He started laughing again. "Haaaaa~ that was the best." He said, now calm. "What? All of you know that you can't destroy this building, this is humanity's last hope, and if any of you think you can catch me, better re-think that." He lit up the circuits on his body. "Med-chan already knows how hard it is."

"Agh! I wish I have another Command Spell." Olga said, grabbing her right wrist. Everyone felt her pain.

"Cu, what did I just say?" He stopped Lancer; he had noticed immediately the spearman's little movements and intentions easily.

They would have to shove it down their throat and accept the defeat this time.

"For the summoning, you use these little crystals called 'Friend Points'." Ethan showed a little green thing. "You get them because of… magic, I really don't know how. So don't ask."

"How do you know all of this?" Ritsuka asked, accusingly.

He pointed the brunette genius, who just waved her hand happily, reminding them that she existed.

"Okay, let's do this."

* * *

Two figures appeared from the light.

"I am Musashibō Benkei, and I have been reincarnated by my spear! Nice to meet you!" The monk said.

"Assassin-class Servant. I heard your call from the shadows."

"Nice to meet you as well, you two." The redhead said with a smile.

Then, again everyone's look went to Ethan, expecting for something.

"The only thing I can think is in calling them gays, seeing how they always are together, but even I have class, and I'm running out of jokes, so I'll just let them pass." Ethan responded with his arms crossed.

"Thanks God." Olga said in relieve. The others felt the same, giving a sigh.

"Wait, so you were doing all of that on purpose?" Ritsuka asked, accusingly.

"If you continue you will give me an opportunity to make fun of you." With his answer, Fujimaru covered her mouth. No one could've ever imagined that that line could be so threatening.

"Ah, so we meet again, Fuck Off." Benkei called Ethan. And everyone's looks went back to him in curiosity.

"Ah, right, I forgot about that. The name is Ethan." He said, dismissing the subject.

"Wait, what was that?" Ritsuka asked, not wanting to drop it. "Why did he call you that?"

"Because Ligma." He answered with a smirk.

"What's _Ligma_?" Olga asked, intrigued.

Ethan's eyes connected with Ritsuka's, they knew perfectly where this was going.

"Don't you dare." Fujimaro warned him. "Don't you fucking dare." She pointed at him.

"Okay, okay. She'd kill me if I did that anyway. Can I still laugh at it?" He asked with a straight face.

"Yes, you can laugh." With those words the laughter was unleashed. Naturally everyone got confused at the situation, but they knew better than what to expect from that crazy boy, so they just ignored him

* * *

After that, they decided to continue with the little friend points they had, summoning yet another Servant.

"Assassin-class Servant, Sasaki Kojirou. I come to serve." The distaste on Medea's face was noticeable when she saw him.

"I'm Ritsuka Fujimaru, your new Master." She offered her hand, but she shuddered when she saw Ethan behind the Servant, analyzing him.

"HEEEEEEEEYYYY!" Ethan shouted to the top of his lungs, scaring the samurai, who adopted a battel position. "So you're not deaf… Then, Matahachi?"

"Excuse me?" Kojirou asked, confused.

Before the boy could answer, Fujimaru's fist sent him flying across the room.

"Forget about him, he's an idiot. You can hate him. Everyone does anyways." She began to talk apologetically for her friend's behavior. His scream scared the shit out of her. "Now~ let's introduced you to the others."

The samurai didn't understand the situation, but he nodded none the less. As he approached the other Servants, his eyes met the pair of the witch. Then, he snorted, showing a smirk. That made Medea's blood boil.

After Ritsuka finally burnt every single resource for the summoning, this pandemonium finally got to an end.

"Wait," Olga spoke. "I want to try this summoning too." She explained. "I don't want to be stuck with this guy." She pointed at Ethan, who was casually piking his nose with his little finger.

"Eh?" He looked surprised.

"Ugh, disgusting." Olga commented while cringing.

Then, she did the summoning. Nothing but Craft Essences appeared.

"Why?!" She whined. "Just one Servant, just one proper and normal Servant is all I'm asking for." While she complained, she was hitting Ethan's chest. The boy was just chuckling while patting her head. Everyone else that was watching didn't know what to think about them. "One more time, just one last time." So she did the summoning again.

When the pillar of light appeared, a humanoid figure was denoted. Thing that put a big smile on Olga's face, but then, when the light ended, what appeared in front of them was… was.

"Here are your black keys, Olga." Ethan, who was on the platform, handed the CE to his Master. Everyone's face was frozen in place.

"Okay. Everyone, kill him." The redhead told her Servants, and some of them were glad to do so.

"No." The Director stopped them. "He is mine."

"Aww, I'm glad that you know I'm yours." Ethan responded cheerfully, completely missing the intentions of those words.

"Gandr!" Olga shot her curse, which her Servant barely managed to dodge.

"Okay, stop." Ethan said. "This is really stupid. Violence is the most dumb shit way of comedy, and I think we already touched bottom in the chapter. So, how about you think on a better way to punish me? Use your imagination, Olga."

"*Sigh* Well, no matter how hard we hit you, you still do… your thing? I don't even know what you do at this point." Olga rubbed the bridge of her nose, tiredly. "You'll have cleaned the entire building for tomorrow morning."

"… Oh, that's all?" Ethan questioned it.

"What do you mean by 'That's all?' Is it not enough for you?" She began to get annoyed again.

"Too cliché, but meh, I guess is fine." He shrugged.

The Director clenched her fists and gritted her teeth; she had enough of his attitude. "Then, *Smile* You will also cook for everyone here—"

"I only know how to made sandwiches and instant ramen." He cut her abruptly. "And I'm talking about some really simple sandwiches, like bread, some sauces, ham and lettuce."

Olga's fists tremble for some control. "Then you will repair—"

"Because I don't know too much about stuff, I'll probably only aggravate the problem." He interrupted her again.

"Ahhh! Okay, then, what can you do?!" She was furious with him.

Ethan snapped his fingers and point at her with a smile on his face. "Being a lovely motherfucker that makes everyone rage so easily, that would make everyone question how I'm still alive; I can be your Servant and also I can clean." Everyone had a poker face; they were looking to a worthless human being for the first time on their lives.

"On other words you're as good as a potato." Caster Cu commented.

"No, no, even a potato has some value." Lancer Cu corrected himself.

"Well, at least I know how to live my life, not like some people that can't pass over a regret on their lives so bad, that even after dead, they sign up for a fight over a cup to change that regret, even if in the end no one in the world will ever care or notice said change because in the end it was pointless to begin with, and just disgrace will fall upon all those idiots. That's dumb and sad. Your existence is dumb and sad." Ethan said with a monotonous tone, while looking at the Servants with no twinkle in his eyes. "Also, none of you can realize all that effort was meaningless to begin with, because no matter what the fuck your wish is, they—"

"Okay, stop!" Caster Cu shouted at him, but it almost sounded like he was trying to stop something he feared.

The faces of the Servants were mortified, their very existence had been shattered with simple words, and the fact that he was going to continue was even more frightening.

"I heard that words can cut deeper than a sword, but this is the first time I've experienced it" Kojirō said.

"Well." Ethan continued. "That's what happens when fiction fights the reality. And I also have 'Speech 100' I could resell stuff to the original owner with a higher price. So yeah, you ain't ready for this."

Everyone just decided it was better to forget about this conversation and continue.

"Okaaaay~" Ritsuka spoke awkwardly. "Follow us, and we'll give each of you a room." And so, all the new Servants followed their Master outside the room.

* * *

On their way through the corridors, they pass the cafeteria, which gave Ethan an idea.

"Hey, I'm a little hungry, why don't we take a break and know each other better now that we are allies?" He said.

"That's… actually not a bad idea." Ritsuka agreed with him, but kept her guard up.

"Good. Now, any of you know how to cook?" He asked the Servants, who remained silent. "I can always do my sandwiches." Then Archer pulled his hand up. "Ah, see, you're a mom after all."

Archer passed him on his way to the cafeteria. "Just quit it." He said annoyed.

"Hey, that's Hell you're walking into." The boy said with a smirk. Nobody really understood what that meant, but Archer was staring at him in a way that said 'I'm going to fucking kill you if you don't disappear of my sight'. "Wow, look at the time," Ethan looked at his wrist, which had the word 'time' wrote on it. "I'm going to get change to start cleaning Chaldea, bye." He passed them in a rush but stopped in mid-way and went back in Olga's direction. "You're doing a great job as a Director, Olga. Keep it up. And remember, you can always count on me or any of the staff members to help you at any time." He patted her head as he talked. "Okay, love ya, bye." He then left a confused crowd and a very flustered Olga.

"What was that, Director?" Da Vinci asked her superior.

"H-he, since yesterday has been complimenting me." The Director said with a blush, it was hard for her to say such thing out loud.

"Ooohhh~" Ritsuka, Mash and Lily said in unison, coming to the conclusion by remembering what she said back in the singularity.

"He also p-persuaded the staff yesterday in the command room, to pet me and say nice things to me as well." Finishing her sentence, Olga covered her face with both hands.

"Oohh~" Da Vinci puffed her fist on her palm, coming to the conclusion of something. "So, that's why everyone has extra work to do."

Ritsuka and Mash approached Olga and then patted her head. "There, there."

"Ahg! No, I'm the Director. I don't need this!" The white haired girl snapped violently, making everyone giggle a little.

After that, they proceeded to the cafeteria, to eat and get delighted by Archer's cook.

* * *

An hour and a half later, everyone had finished their meal and they were really satisfied with it.

"Hah~ I have to admit, your food was really good." Lancer Cu said to Archer.

"Yeah, you should give up fighting and become a housewife. Hahahaha." Caster Cu continued.

"I won't give you anything tomorrow." The red man said relentlessly. Both Childs of light fell silent.

After collecting the dishes, Archer felt that his red coat was tugged from behind. When he turned around he found Saber Alter with her plate in hand.

"Another." She demanded.

"*Sigh* That was your third one, you know?" Archer complained.

"I do not care. Serve me another." She replied bluntly.

"*Sigh* Yeah, yeah." He took her plate and then looked at the other two Artorias. "Do any of you want another round?"

"Well, if it's not a nuisance." Artoria handed her plate with a little bit of embarrassment.

"No, thanks, this is enough for me." And Lily kindly declined the offer.

Then, the doors were slammed open and everyone looked at the rude person who entered in that way.

They found Ethan, but he was wearing a Victorian maid outfit, and that wasn't all, on his head he had a cap that said 'Janitor' on it. He was carrying a mop and a bucket. And on his right shoulder was Ozzy wearing a maid ribbon on his little head.

All the people were astonished with his odd attire, and the only question on their minds was. " _What the fuck?_ " Except for Medea, who was having a mental debate about a cute boy wearing a cute dress, this situation was opening a new world of possibilities to her.

Ethan began to walk to a corner of the room. Ritsuka stood up. "What is—?"

"~Move bitch, get out the way. Get out the way bitch, get out the way.~" She was going to break his legs, but then she noticed the earphones on his ears.

He put a wet rag on the floor and then placed Ozzy next to it; the weasel began to push the rag on the floor, cleaning little by little. Of course most of the women melted when they watched the little fur ball doing this

Ethan began to mop the floor while moving his body at the rhythm of the song. This display was highly odd, but quite entertaining.

* * *

Next day.

Ethan had managed to clean out all Chaldea relatively easy, and now he was walking through the corridors when he spotted Ritsuka, who was walking along side with someone he didn't know. It was a blond man in golden armor. It was clearly a Servant.

"Hey, Ritsuka," He caught up to her.

"Oh no." She said.

"So, emm, who this?" He pointed at the man besides her.

"Hmp, show some respect, mongrel." The man talked to him with distaste.

"Oh~hohohoho. It looks like we have a bitching bitch over here." Ethan said with poison in his words.

"Ho~ looks like a low class mongrel needs to learn some manners." The man in golden armor opened three golden portals over his head, showing three Noble Phantasms.

"And it looks like a spoiled child needs some ass-rape to learn how to talk to people." Ethan materialized his sword over his shoulders while opening the magic circuits on his body.

Ritsuka stepped in between them. "Stop." She said serious. "See, this is why I didn't want you to be here." She told Ethan.

"Hey, I just asked who was he, and this is what happened." The boy explained.

"His name is Gilgamesh, are you happy now? Then leave." She sounded annoyed.

"Emmmm… Gilga what?" Ethan tilted his head in confusion.

"Gilgamesh. King of heroes. Humanity's oldest king. Have you not heard of him?" Fujimaru questioned him.

"….Nnnnope. Am I supposed to know about him?" His confusion continued. "But based on what you've told me, let me guess three things." He went back to Gilgamesh, raising three fingers. "You're a tyrant king, a mass murder and indiscriminate rapist." He said with a smirk. "So, on how many did a hit the bullseye?" He asked, wiggling his three fingers.

"Watch what your tongue says, mongrel." The King of Heroes looked serious, but he was clearly pissed off.

"You're not denying any of those, _Hero_." Ethan looked equally serious. "And also, you seemed to be pretty fond of the word: 'Mongrel'. Why do I feel like that word applies more to you than anyone else?"

The tension on the air was suffocating, as both men locked glares on each other. On one side, Gilgamesh opened more of his Gate of Babylon. On the other side, Ethan opened more and more of his circuits while it could perfectly be heard how he began to growl, clearly losing himself.

Ritsuka started to step back; the situation was worse than she could imagine. She knew that this was going to end on them killing each other.

"Master." A voice interrupted everything. It was Artoria. "I need to talk something with you."

The ambience changed with her presence.

"Ah, Saber." The blond man talked. Artoria's face showed a clear displeasure when she saw him. "So, have you made up your mind on the proposal that I gave you?" The man talked with a smirk.

"King of heroes, I cannot believe you were summon here as well." She answered with disdain. "I have told you many times. The answer is no."

"Hahahaha, I don't think you understand. You belong to—"

"Ah, Artoria. Just in time." Ethan interrupted him abruptly. "Lily asked me for some sandwiches for her training. Can you give them to her?" He handed her a basket, which he pulled out from somewhere, to her hands. "You can have some as well if you want."

"Hm, I see. Then I shall handle this task promptly." She said with a stoic face, but her ahoge gave her away by wagging like a dog's tail. She then turned around to leave.

"Ahm, what did you want to asked me?" Fujimaru stopped her Servant awkwardly.

"Don't worry, Master. The matter can be talked later." Artoria continued on her way. She appreciated the excuse to leave the king of heroes behind and she could even have some of the food, this was just perfect.

Meanwhile Ethan just gave a big smirk to Gilgamesh. "Man, being the oldest king has to suck, because that way of picking girls up was just so bad that almost made me puke. You're so outdated, like Babylonian outdated. Man, you are going to end with zero sexual experiences by the time we saved the world."

Gilgamesh just grunted and went behind Artoria, he didn't want to lose more of his time with that mongrel, leaving Ethan and Ritsuka alone.

"If you are so desperate, you're only going to blow her away even more!" Ethan raised his voice, giving an advice to the King of Heroes. Who didn't even bother to listen.

"Are you nuts?!" Ritsuka immediately yelled at him. "I could have died in that quarrel!" Ethan slowly lifted a Saint Quartz on his hand, which Ritsuka took and fell quiet.

"Good girl." He then patted her head. "Come on, I'll treat you to some drinks."

"Do you have more Saint Quartz?" She asked like a child as she followed.

"The benefits of being Olga's Servant," He showed her a little bag.

"By the way, how did you guess those things about him?" She asked out of curiosity.

"Because I am apparently one of the few people here, who understands the meaning of hero." He spoke calmly.

"Ehm, come again?" She said confused.

"Don't pay me too much attention." He smiled at her, hoping she'd forget it. "Come on; let's go find Mash and the others."

* * *

 **A/N: Man, this is the worst part for me. This is when Anxiety comes a murder me cold blood, like, "did you put the correct words? What if someone doesn't understand you? Did you add too much or too little? Did you put the FUCKING 'S' where it was?" And when I found a mistake after I published it, it gets ten times worse. I'm literally dying over here. Leave a review with any question you may have, if you want.**

 **In the next one we'll be touching singularity, so get ready.**

 **Read you next time.**


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